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sielwolf's Journal: Time Suspends Car Collisions 10

Journal by sielwolf

It's Good

It's good to pull into your parking lot to see the UPS truck in front of your condo. It's good to know that he has your copy of Jose Gonzalez Veneer and Cocaine Cowboys . It's doubly good because you signed up for that free two months of Amazon Prime and so you got this stuff shipped in a day for no cost.

It's so good that even though he's blocking your parking spot, you put your car in park behind him and patiently wait for him to pull out and leave. Look- he's getting into his truck right now!

It's Bad

It's bad when he starts up his truck, you see the reverse lights come on and he backs right into you. It's bad when you gave him 15 feet and are fist deep into your car horn. It's bad when you hear that Krthunk. It's bad, that damage you see, the stuff your imagination comes up with.

"...FUCK."

So you turn off your car.

It's Not Too Bad

It's not too bad to see he only mangled your license plate, scuffed your bumper. It's not too bad when most of the damage is probably the styrofoam they stuff all car bodies with these days. It's not too bad to hear him really afraid. It's not too bad to know you are just relieved ("It's not too bad") and he would be glad to hear that. It's not too bad, sympathy, in the face of all that dickmangling antipathy out there. It's not too bad to live in a world like this; better than a world like that. Even when they hit your car, UPS is still better than fucking FedEx Home.

It Ends

It ends with "Don't sweat it." "Aw thanks. Man, I'm so sorry- thank you." And he goes away. You pull into your parking spot and go up to your condo and you open the door while stooping down- scooping up the box the UPS guy left you. It ends with you turning on your computer and ripping your new CD and listening to "Crosses" and writing this journal.

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Time Suspends Car Collisions

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  • He was probably relieved as hell that you didn't turn out to be a dick. He'd probably have hell to pay for a collision of any sort. I don't imagine his truck was damaged severely.
    • by sielwolf (246764)
      That's how accidents often are: you getting caught in one moment when you are just hoping the day would end and *shit* this whole thing happens. No reason to add to the dickery of the world.
    • by Tet (2721)
      He'd probably have hell to pay for a collision of any sort.

      Unlikely. For a company like UPS, it'll just go down in the book, and the insurance company will take care of it. That's how it works.

  • Glad to hear you were good to him and all was made good to you.

    Or whatever.

    I was really getting into this story, as I’ve spent the past two days tracking my first ever new computer across the country, but then you had to go and get all quasi-tragic about it. Hopefully my purchase will have a less tumultuous delivery; it will sure as hell be more joyous!

    But there is little doubt that the world would be a better place if more of the sites I do business with would offer DHL/Airborne as a shipping choice.
  • Why didn't you pull a Friday on his ass? ;)

    Glad to hear nothing was seriously damaged.

    PS: For $5, I'll clean that up for ya.
    • by sielwolf (246764)
      You know, I mangled the license plate on my first car too: at a traffic circle I was looking at the traffic I was going to merge into and not the woman in front of me. I assumed (wrongly) that she'd gone only to accelerate, turn and see she hadn't. *boink* Of course I was in a Saturn and she in a hitched up Bronco. The damage was the same too: creased license plate.

      I think it might be good luck.

      [Remembers that car getting flooded out in Houston, TX]

      Mmm, maybe not.

      Now that you are a local, you should s
      • by Em Emalb (452530)
        I'd love to, but it will probably be a little while before I'm able to run around.

        The house in ATL is under contract, but that don't mean I ain't gotta pay. Right now I'm running about $5k a month in housing alone. That shit needs to cease before I can handle getting out and about. Cause there's no wai I'd swing by some uppity (heh) hipster's casa without the freshest Merlot, or maybe a nice Pinot. ;)

        Anyway, give me some time to get used to this place and we'll make that happen, no doubt.

        By the way...my

Real Programmers don't write in FORTRAN. FORTRAN is for pipe stress freaks and crystallography weenies. FORTRAN is for wimp engineers who wear white socks.

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