I think I'll start chronicling events from the past. This event which took place a few years ago:
My roommate had just started going out with someone he had met in school, and whom I had not met. They had an appointment to go do something or other. They get back to the domicile after the event they attended. I'm watching TV in the living room when they arrive. I also happened to be sharpening a new axe. I sharpen things, it's kind of like a hobby.
I took a fish head to the movies and I didn't have to pay. -- Fish Heads, Saturday Night Live, 1977.