But the other side of the coin is people feel they have a right to a "safe space" and should never have to see/hear anything that's only offensive to them personally, then going after people that fall somewhere in between for not complying 100%.
Those are two different things. I don't see why people don't have a right to a safe space: no one has the right to force others to hear their speech. But that's different from making the entire world a safe space.
The CoC is introduced, discussed and merged into a project in less than a day before anyone, that doesn't know it's being talked about, can have any input.
In other news, people in charge of a project/community set the rules. The members can like it or lump it. Naturally everyone else is free to cheer them or or call them idiots. The members of that community got just as much of a say about the CoC as members of the Linux kernel community did about Linus' anti-CoC or whatever he called it. Do you also call that underhanded?
I have no issue with a CoC, but why are they even necessary?
Because apparently "be excellent to each other" is too hard an instruction for many people to follow.
Even without ill intent, people often don't even realise that something they're used to doing is, in fact, un-excellent.
They're the worse people to be arguing for tools to hold people responsible for actions outside of dev projects.
I don't really have a problem with that. Many people have IMO this really weird opinion that online life and off line life are somehow separate. They are not. There is only one life. You may try to separate them but ultimately things you do online and off have one very strong thing in common: you.
If a person acts as a raging asshole in an off-line community, that person is still an asshole. Being in an online community doesn't make the assholeishness vanish. They're still an asshole. I think it's 100% resonable for a community to kick out assholes.
But then I have oddly and unusually strong views along the idea that people should damn well take responsibility for their behaviour.
TL;DR - People on both sides, overly offensive and overly offended, are a menaces and justify then feed each others existence.
Yeah, neither overly offensive nor overly offended are good.