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Journal: The Sponge Bob Squarepants Movie

Journal by sadomikeyism
Sponge Bob Squarepants is a cartoon show I've enjoyed more than most. Okay, I'm a fanboy: I have Sponge Bob jammies, a Sponge Bob alarm clock, and a few other accoutrements (sister bought them for me). I can sing the theme song word for word. I know all the characters. I am a 36 year old single white male. I am disturbingly outside the bell curve for this show's target audience. I even got my younger sister hooked on the show. Quite sad.

Anyways, when I saw the tv ads for the movie, I called sister and said, "Hey, we're gonna need to rent some kids to see this movie."

"No, we don't," she replied.

So, as we were visiting the rents for thanksgiving weekend and were bored Friday evening, we went to see it. There was only one preview before the movie. Chrissy commented on that. "They can only show G movie previews before G movies," I explained.

The opening sequence took the piratically sung theme song and turned it into a production of "Pirates of Penzance". Not funny. Mildly amusing.

But things got underway with Sponge Bob's morning sequence of slapstick and moved into an extended storyline that was consistently funny, even for adults, with lampoons of David Hasselhoff, Fear Factor, early Rock Videos, and simulated sucrose intoxication by minor child sponges and starfish with associated sugar crash hangovers.

Several obligatory show-tune sequences like "I'm a Goofy Goober" and "I'm a Man Now" kept up the occasional musical orientation so the kids would have something to sing to. The obligatory evil plot by Plankton to take over the world of Bikini Bottom was well thought out, but we wondered how Plankton got King Neptune's crown to Shell City so much faster and less dangerously than the kids got there (Perhaps David Hasselhoff's evil twin had something to do with it).

Overall, it was a B+ effort. Not outstanding like "South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut", but worth the money. At 90 minutes, though, it might be too long to hold little kids attention.

Lord of the Rings

Journal: LOTR:ROTK

Journal by sadomikeyism
Saw ROTK this evening. Went to the Entertainment Cinemas on Miracle Mile in Lebanon, NH. The 7:30 show was sold out, bought a ticket for 8:00 and trudged across the icy parking lot to the P&C to buy some peanut M&Ms and a 1 L Sunkist to sneak into the theater (cost $3.36). Threw off the hounds by laying out $4 for a regular popcorn in the theater lobby, after waiting in line behind this chick with the most amazing cantelevered torso I've seen in a while..... Went in the theater 15 minutes before showtime to find seats over 3/4 full. Snagged one by the wall 2/3 the way down the aisle and proceeded to start snacking. The moview was really absolutely phenomenal. I've seen the first two episodes and really like them as well. I've compared these all to both the books and the animated movies I saw on tv as a kid in the 80's. These movies did far better than even my own imagination when I read the books. My only complaint is a lack of Tom Bombadil, however I can understand the lack. Old Tom always seemed to me to be out of place in the book and the animated movie, kind of an addition to satisfy the odd british need for showtunes... The characterization of Gollum more than makes up for it. Little burbling bastard ought to win an oscar for this performance. Truly tragic character. The end kind of didn't know when to end, if you know what I mean. There were two or three good false endings (I am sure there are another two that will come out on the DVD directors cut)...

Elegance and truth are inversely related. -- Becker's Razor

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