That's my view. But Guinness Draught is quite popular.
I can only assume the post is talking solely about stouts like Guinness Draught in a nitro-can that has a widget to release nitrogen. There is more to what that widget does than just give the beer a nice creamy head. It gives the entire beer a different mouthfeel, and that's because of the nitrogen, not carbon dioxide (though the beer does already contain carbon dioxide. So, if they want the same effect, you'll still need a widget (or in the case of the bottled Guinness Draught, the proper mix of the gases). However, nitrogen dulls the flavor of the beer. So the effect this story talks about would not leave the beer the same...
The bank has the information, but doesn't store it for you indefinitely like others said. If you need more than the last 3 months, they've got it, but they're likely gonna charge you to access it.
If you really care so much, you'd remember to download it more regularly than once every 3 months. If you can't remember to do it that often, you obviously don't care enough about it.
I would suggest finding a job in a college. It'd be a lateral move, but you would be in a MUCH different environment. I would suggest finding a small college, too. The benefits are great. The pay may not be the best, but most of them offer free tuition. The other benefit is that you usually get to do a whole lot more than just simple support, though support is your main task.