Ultimately, the best solution is for the users to quit being such whiney bitches.
The LED bulbs I'm using sure seem to be an improvement.
All of the LED bulbs that I've used blink at what appears to be 120Hz. Now, it may well be that some people cannot see this blinking, but I can and it drives me batty. It's even worse than good quality CFLs. I bought a couple of cases of what I've chosen to think of as "real" lights just to postpone when I'll have to tolerate my whole house blinking at me. Ick.
My cranium nearly exploded while attempting to parse
"3yo lesbian, father of seven"
Mine too. If instead he had followed the usual English grammer conventions for the use of a comma between adjectives and written "3yo, lesbian father of seven" then I could have understood it easily.