Attach a hidden horn (120db) that will go off if someone moves the bike without turning it off..
Also build a cheap ass taser and add a few leads to where you usually touch the bike if you are dragging it.

Wire it up so it will go off after one of the wheels has turned 2-3 times to prevent it from going off accidentally...

For GPS tracking... get a cheap-ass phone (http://www.lightinthebox.com/pan-android2-2-smartphone-w-3-2-inch-touchscreen-dual-sim-tv-wifi-gps_p208017.html) that you wire to the internal batteries.. mod the phone and put an external GPS antenna on the bike just below some plastic covering...
Then you just use one of the existing apps or write your own that will either send a email to you with the coordinates every 2-3 minutes when moved without being deactivated..

Other simple way to do it is to get a really cheap-ass phone without data-service, get a USB or rs232 GPS module and a cheap router that you run openwrt or similar on, when bike is moved just send a text with the coordinates...

Remember the 'good old times' when i worked for HP when they merged with Compaq... and Compaq brought some big union crap with them...

From average 8% yearly increase (decided by performance) in pay to 2% increase (same increase for everyone good and bad)... Had to basically tell them i would quit if i did not get a better increase, and got about 6% that year... Next year same story, but then it was a bit hard to threaten to quit... Fixed my salary via switching jobs inside the company for a couple of years....

And btw.. work-rules... At least here in Sweden we have laws about those things... 5 weeks paid vacation per year, breaks are 15 min at 10.00, 1h lunch at 12.00, 15 min break at 15.00 and those are required breaks by law, think they can shorten lunch to 30 min but not sure.... 8 hours per day is standard here, but some companies only do 7.5h, like my current company...

I will never again work in a union controlled workplace.. they just bring shit with them...

That's what any religious fanatic would say.... Fear can never be used for good... NEVER! It *might* maybe someone from doing something, but if they want to and can do it without being found out they will do anyway...

If you instead of hitting the child but talking to them about the things that can happen if they do the thing you will get the following benefits.
- More open, you will actually know what's going on in their life..
- If they trust you you will get the benefit of being able to trust them......
- If they do something bad they will be self-punishing themselves..

But it all requires trust from both parties... When they are at 15 maybe you should allow them to make mistakes, but be there for them to help them with their mistakes... And by doing this they know that they can always turn to you and you will always back them up no matter what...

The largest problem abusive parents (mental or physical) will get is that their children will never speak openly with their parents.. If they have made a mistake they will try to hide it forever instead of asking for help and guidance from their parents..

Making mistakes is how we learn stuff as people..

as i wrote... "(the above stuff is just for demo purposes... it's not the recommended way to do it. It's just to show the functionality..)"..... ie it's not the optimal way.. it's just for demo-purposes to show how pipes and such are much more powerful to manage output from a command...
The good thing about this is that i can write a minimal shell-script that does something and parse the output with whatever command i might want.. Or even pipe the output from a command to a shell-script that does something more advanced with the output...

Please learn how to read...

Ever heard about import data in excel?... you can use comma, tab, spaces or whatever you would like to import data... it does not have to be a cvs file... But if you would like.. You can even right-click on the file and select open with excel and it will go into import-mode... So... the problem is?

But sure.. i'll bite...
ps h -o "`hostname`,%p,%y,%x,%c"
and the "cryptic" variables here are defined in the man-page..
CODE NORMAL HEADER
%C pcpu %CPU
%G group GROUP
%P ppid PPID
%U user USER
%a args COMMAND
%c comm COMMAND
%g rgroup RGROUP
%n nice NI
%p pid PID
%r pgid PGID
%t etime ELAPSED
%u ruser RUSER
%x time TIME
%y tty TTY
%z vsz VSZ

Cryptic???? Tell me one option that is cryptic??.. and... a total of 6 things you can output for a process... that is limiting the usefulness of the command...
And about that the list depends on the platform... Of course, it has too... They are different platform with different types of information for the processes... The POSIX standard defines a number of "must have" that should be platform independent... And options are not, usually, removed or renamed between versions, like Microsoft does between each version...

-f does full-format listing. This option can be combined with many other UNIX-style
                                options to add additional columns. It also causes the command arguments to be
                                printed. When used with -L, the NLWP (number of threads) and LWP (thread ID)
                                columns will be added. See the c option, the format keyword args, and the format
                                keyword comm.

If you use it you know what it means... It's the same in windows... I would say having to start with $_. is more cryptic...

Also something that is very powerful in a bash shell is the possibility to use regexps for basically all commands.... like: (Yes i know i can specify the process, but to not confuse the windows-user you are i'm clarifying that i just use the ps output here to display the regexp functionality.)

$ ps |grep "bash$"
  4629 pts/0 00:00:00 bash

$ ls
10000
10001
12001
13001
14001
15001
16001
$ ls 1[034]*1
10001
13001
14001

Try doing that if you have a special character in the folder-name you are in... Tab-completion for parameters is possible in Linux too..
http://stackoverflow.com/questions/776071/surprise-the-shell-suggests-command-line-switches
Of course not for all commands because that would be a hell of a job to implement... But you have full freedom to extend, as you must do in windows for extra commands, the completion with whatever support you might like...

Well, you cannot have the same output for services... Because a service can consist of several processes.... A service can even just be something that should be executed once without a running process... Like having ntpdate executed once during boot and having other services depend on it...

So go do your homework again...

List services:
# service --status-all
List processes for the current user
# ps
List processes for all users
# ps -e
List processes for all users (including executing user)
# ps -ef

So... how hard was that?... Oh.. you want to store it to a file... add >file.txt to the end...
Or if you want to do something more exciting...
List processes, sort by user and pid.
# ps -ef --sort user,pid
List processes, sort by used cpu-time.
# ps -ef --sort pcpu
Or how about listing processes on another system...
# ssh root@192.168.0.254 ps -ef

Or how about doing this...
# ps -ef |grep bash |awk '{print "echo process "$2" running, used cputime "$7" using terminal "$6"; echo messing with your terminal >/dev/"$6}' |sh
lists all bash-processes, prints a nice list with some information and then writing a message to the user(s) console(s)...
This command would generate output like this:
echo process 2842 running, used cputime 00:00:00 using terminal pts/0; echo messing with your terminal >/dev/pts/0
echo process 3127 running, used cputime 00:00:00 using terminal pts/0; echo messing with your terminal >/dev/pts/0
and the |sh on the end it to actually execute the commands...

Doing stuff on a *nix system is not hard...

(the above stuff is just for demo purposes... it's not the recommended way to do it. It's just to show the functionality..)

Pickaxe?

So if i sign up i need to agree to their TOS.... and that enables them to sell my information... If i dont sign up and agree to their TOS they distribute my information in whatever way they seem fit....

Seems fair...

Well, lets just put:
By having opened this letter you agree that all previous agreements are null and void until a new contract, signed by both parties, has been established between us.

All personal data relating to me on your system shall be deleted within 1 week of reception of this letter if no new agreement has been established. Failure to comply will result in a 500â/day rent-fee for all my personal information.

not using facebook is not a good idea either... since even if you don't have an account they keep information about you... Only way to at least manage some of the privacy stuff is to have a account just to once a month go in and re-select the most private settings in the profile..

... since they are planning to build a datacenter here in sweden... And according to Swedish law you can request any and all data any company might have stored on you... =)