For those who contributed to the above Slashdot summary who are obviously incapable of properly navigating or searching Web sites, the NSA provides advice on securing multiple different computer operating systems and revisions. Yes, that includes Linux and even Solaris, and multiple versions to boot. Furthermore, additional research will yield that the NSA also has articles on securing a variety of common applications, Web browser plugins, and file formats. Then again, should anything less be expected from the organization that created and developed Security-Enhanced Linux in collaboration with Red Hat?

Wouldn't that perhaps make this classifiable as a Public Service Announcement?

The answer is the mighty (expensive) X-Arcade joystick. Buy two of the two-player models or four single-player models and you'll be set for four players: from one-button games to eight-button games and trackball games like Millipede. And they have plenty of adapters, so you can use them with non-serial or non-USB systems as well. I know they have adapters for Dreamcast (out-of-stock, *sigh*), GameCube/Wii, XBOX/360, PS2/3, etc. I wish I knew of a superior - cheaper or "more universal" (NES, Genesis/MegaDrive, SNES, and such) quality joystick - but as with most goods, the high-quality gear requires high-caliber materials, workmanship, knowledge, and engineering, so you have to pay the price for them.

A key wallet is the way to go. I used to keep my keys on a ring (*SSH joke goes here*), but a few years ago I switched to keeping my keys in one of the mesh compartments of my wallet. Granted I only have a few keys. For a larger set of keys, you will want to use a real key wallet with hooks for the keys built into the wallet itself. If you need a key, just push the hook, detach the key, use the key, and return it. Most of them are pretty cheap, and I know that Sears Roebucks carries a few which are not only affordable but have all the compartments you'd want in a standard wallet too.

Dang, now *I* want to buy a real key wallet.

Resistant, nay, impervious to cancer? So that's the sitch she was always talking about!

Due to a number of questions and assumptions that arose due to what I suppose was my lack of explicitness, I shall try to clear the water here:

I didn't upgrade to XP from 2000 sooner because...
1) The default XP GUI sucks.
2) It's more of a resource hog than 2000.
3) You have to deal with activation and Windows Genuine Advantage.
4) XP wasn't really a good choice until SP2 came out, as SP2 combined with the earlier advances of SP1 to address many issues that XP suffered from.
5) I wasn't going to pay for a new version of Windows. My copy of XP (and Vista and 7 if I wish) was furnished by my university under Microsoft's MSDNAA program.

Other points...
-I never said XP itself was slow.
-I did say IE8 is slow on my configuration.
-Though the browsers themselves have responsibilities in this regard, our individual setups also determine program performance. A large number of factors play into this including OS, upgrade paths of the software which are installed, background processes, et cetera.
-I did an in-place upgrade from 2000 to XP to preserve my programs' installations and settings. Don't worry, I backed up everything before the XP upgrade happened.
-My computer is not old nor outdated, though like all of ours it could always use more upgrades. ;)

And on that note, I'll close by saying, "...Oh no, something on your computer is older now than it was a moment ago - better upgrade again!"