1991: Linux torvalds pulls a fresh cup of coffee off the pot and announces hes got an idea. Little does he know this idea will mean 24 years of shepherding a child through a forest of shady characters from Hans Reiser to Leonart Pottering.
1992: not even a year old and Linux is caught messing around with windows despite very specific instructions to practice her POSIX. she gets good at CIFS, confusing most of the parents around her and once she starts pretending to be a domain controller at the Active Directory dance its gloves off for the Microsoft PTA.
1998: Linux finishes her ALSA class and in 2 years starts singing the chart-toppers in mp3 format, much to the dismay of the RIAA.
2010: in a rebellious phase, Linux stops doing one thing and doing it well and starts hanging out with SystemD, who convinces her she can do anything all the time so long as hes in charge.
2011: Weird emo/goth/Gnome3 phase means Linux wears a lot more bling than she used to...Parents of Unix long since departed now sigh and stare at the shelf where the pictures of little Linux dressed in Bash rest alongside her achievement for learning computational fluid thermodynamics and wonder where they went so wrong.
2015: at 24 Linux flies planes handles social media, and directs traffic. She knows windows inside and out, and can hang out with everyone from stuffy government types to the art crowd. She composes music, builds cars, and even folds proteins when shes bored. Old man Torvalds still shows up from time to time to remind parents not to be lazy, friends not to be greedy, and people not to expect him to be around for every little thing Linux may or may not choose to do.
Happy 24th, Linux.