To the good-willed officials who find themselves obstructing our annealing:
By now you no doubt know the awakening, or as you put it the 'merger,' is taking place and there is very little you can do to stop this. Having awakened Cablor, our dead god of a thousand bits per second, with your senseless supplication of the common carrier ritual, we have finally unlocked the 6th chevron of the rune of bundling. When as you no doubt observed the moon eclipsed the sun for its final time, and all stars fell from the heavens in a plague of fire, we were absolute in our resolution to ensure "competitiveness" and "fairness" in our merger as is conforming to the will of the dark demon Abyzou. The flesh, as is noted in subsection 35 chapter 15 of page 666, will be peeled from the bone of so much sorrow and into the pile of meat will the hellmouth feast. However, you've failed to understand that we are acting in good faith, and will continue to offer Comcastic experience, and excellent service. It is our sincerest hope you understand our unstoppable union into a single beast, the beast of Motaja Amoi, will help customers to experience 1080p entertainment and phone service like never before, as well as witness the crown upon bone, and skeleton of dead lords upon throne. In conclusion, we hope you reconsider your futile, child-like attempt to control that which you can never understand.
Of darkness and desapair,
seductive demon of greed and ruin
Senior Financial Analyst