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Comment theyve lost their meaning a while ago (Score 1) 135

successive iterations of economic inflation, joblessness, and market crash have forced retailers constrained by 21st century economic mandate of 15% quarterly and yearly posted gains to in turn usher in a thousand years of sales regardless of whether they want to or not. In return customers have become so desensitized and indifferent to a sale that its only awkward when a local business or retailer somehow misses the memo and tries to open a shop to sell a product for the greater common good. if the toilet paper isnt on sale, there must be something wrong.

conversely these same boom-bust model economics of american capitalism have turned once savvy and spendthrift shoppers into deadpan holiday drones whos only real interaction with $holiday is to log predictably onto amazon, select an item from a prepopulated list of gifts for a known interest or loved one, and click buy. brick-and-mortar macys and nordstrom have been reduced to nothing more than an over-illuminated street corner inconvenience with mandatory christmas tree furiously blocking a pedestrian courtyard or an army of bell-bangers demanding what little spare change the average american hasnt carried for 20 years. yet still is the awkward post-christmas sales rush, an event thats gained momentum consistently for the last decade due to an increasing number of americans who are made to work holidays or multiple jobs in a service sector with no concept of regular time off.

raining grinch upon glad tidings still is a growing minority of americans who just wont. They hold contempt for christmas in october, the same five christmas songs played fifteen times a day for 3 months, the mind numbing tie-ins and product placement in even the most mundane entertainment medium, and the lack of diversity or meaning in a mandatory shopping experience spun from the backs of so many chinese cargo ship containers.

For me, I dont do black and cyber anything. When thanksgiving rolls around I buy something tasteful and local from my state to ship to relatives.

Comment jesus thats all it takes? (Score 0, Flamebait) 106

as a jaded sysadmin im in the wrong business. Ive learned perl and python and bash and even picked up a case of php along the way but if all it takes for hipsters to belch a half a million dollars at me is a language? then this is where it begins, slashdot.

My language is called twerk-cankle. It was named after a dance that comes from a small island in the osowhatwhocares islands and is ritually performed with great efficiency. my classes are called palpatisms and you instantiate them by using the pelvic_thrust operator. all code is terminated with yoskrilldropit(hard) which calls a completely gender neutral subroutine to issue enlightenments to my interpreter. The interpreter which you can download under the BSD, MIT, PCP, GPL, and my own personal DERP license uses spare CPU cycles to search the ram heap for Kony. Ive also released a debugger called shitlord which runs as an elevated user once after checking its privilege and enrolling a small orphinage of women and nuns into the girls who code program. Processes when threaded are done so in a way that recognizes france's tragedy and assert a macklemore call to find 99 cent urine scented clothing on the memory bus.

Comment and so my transition began. (Score 3, Funny) 151

Until reading this article Id been a chipper young admin, fast at the keyboard with a gentle hand to users but once I'd gazed upon this fact, this indelible pockmark upon our society in this foul year of our lord 2015, My hair burst a radiant white and a shock of that same hue flew throught the beard I never before had. Hair filled my nostrils and a pocket protector flew furiously into my button up homage to the cartesian plane. small stuffed tux's and beasties fell from the heavens unto my cubicle and a smattering of old userfriendly comics printed upon delicate tractor paper adhered themselves to the walls. my mundane gaze turned slowly into a furious scowl and I knew what must be done. I furiously cranked out a script to sync microsoft ldap parameters to my desktop for my user, configured NIS, and reverted every account in the organization to csh. I then forwarded my phone to the switchboad and the switchboard to a cream cheese factory in wisconsin. Gathering my briefcase now filled with LISA digests and a calculator from the cold war I made my way to the pub for the day and silently muttered

"Kids....Kids on my lawn..."

Comment Why? why now? (Score 1, Insightful) 158

If you're a developer working in a shop writing code for bethesda or valve or EA, chances are your windows site license for desktops and servers is already heavily discounted thanks to your generous interest in a visual studio license despite eclipse being right there. Chances are even better that in order to keep this generous discount your manager has started shoehorning C# into your project requirements to 'maximize the investment value' of what basically amounts to a protection racket for good customers.

if you're a web developer chances are vim with a few extensions is working well, or there are already a myriad of alternatives that dont require purchasing an expensive license for your startup. Eclipse has always been an option for you. if you're writing games for Android and dont work on the Candy Crush team then youre almost certainly an eclipse user. If youre writing iOS apps you must have done something truly evil in a past life.

3 years in and No one outside redmond is writing shit for the windows app store. unless you run excel on your phablet, and that comes from the same team that writes excel for your laptop. maybe redmond thinks the reason for this to be a lack of competent IDE for windows? If its looking to gain traction in the 'hot' web languages its about 10 years too late. PHP, python, ruby, and a bunch more shops for these languages made money because they exclusively refused to participate in microsofts cash cow scheme. They already had their desktop and laptop licenses, assuming the devs didnt opt for a macbook, and by the time microsoft dropped the license fees to a few hundred dollars for a group no one was left interested. Maybe microsoft sees this as an opportunity to get a foot in the door at small startups?

Comment Ive worked on some of this research. (Score 4, Funny) 55

Originally we'd set out for a liquid cooled laser that could be affixed to a large mobile rigging and dynamically targeted while immersed in a saline coolant. this proved difficult due to budgetary and logistics constraints (our director was none too pleased.) However we found a similar biomedical project had succeeded in mounting a laser to a subspecies of the Dicentrarchus labrax with only mild side effect of distemperment.

Comment you kids and your emulators. (Score 1) 352

step up to the adult table and get real. Ive long since given up my old terminal emulator for a much more purist representation of interaction with the kernel. using two 45lb electromagnets, one strapped to each hand, I pedal a small generator with my feet and vary the field strength between the two accordingly to properly submit cpu bytecode to the ALU. to check uptime I measure and record the number of rotations of the cpu fan using an inductive loop wound around my tongue. mainstream users will balk at the lack of a "gui" or "mouse interface" but I assure you its well worth it to get the best performance on slashdot over curl.

Comment as an evolutionary biologist.... (Score 5, Informative) 417

Treefinder has been dead for about a decade. If youre still using im surprised you have enough data from it to continue a grant proposal, but i hope you'll consider other more functional applications like PHYLIP PAUP MEGA Phylo_win ARB or DAMBE
hybridization or recombination events got you down? concaterpillar to the rescue. http://rogerlab.biochemistryan...
distance matrix analyses on nucleotide or protein sequences? seriously, get a copy of ODIN. while i couldnt get funding for a beefier desktop, i DID get compute time on our university supercomputer and ODIN absolutely screams on linux.

Comment Oh yes they do. (Score 5, Informative) 190

people who are incarcerated can appeal to the sitting governor of most states for reinstatement of their voting rights. Its typically accompanied by a processing fee and requires the use of an attorney. if youre unlucky enough to do this in an election year, the likelyhood a sitting governor will do anything but deny this request is poor. ex convicts can be legally discriminated against in housing, education, and employment. In more than 20 states ex convicts cannot receive local section 8 housing benefits, food stamps, or public assistance. Credit tracking companies like experian will also kindly obliterate your credit rating once its been known you've spent time in prison. you cant get a loan for everything from a house to a car or even a small business. and it gets worse. Felons released for time served arent released, they are typically put on 2-5 years mandatory probation. that means they have a curfew, they cant go to bars, they cant own a gun, and they have to abide by whatever arbitrary soothsay a judge imposes. any screwup sends you back to jail for committing a non-crime after punishment. Did you commit a cybercrime? then that means you cant use everything from an ATM to the sytem that lets you check in to your parol officer and schedule meetings/hearings.

your visas and passports? those are also now invalid and reinstatement after a felony conviction takes twice as long and requires an extra processing fee to pull your criminal records during incarceration. Police that stop you for anything from jay walking to speeding are legally allowed to profile you based on your criminal record, so what started out as a 10 minute inconvenience on the way to work is now a 40 minute ordeal in handcuffs on the side of the road. And lets talk about reparation. Remember that stay in prison? turns out you now owe in most states close to $60,000 in restitution for everything from shelter to food and even civil penalties for the original criminal conviction. cant pay? more than 40 states will send you right back to jail for being too poor.

Comment great way to spin this. (Score 0) 412

The problem isnt the fact that we've destroyed the economy and rendered every student a walking debt calculator. Its certainly not the fact that we've turned every job into minimum wage, outsourced even the most remotely skilled work, and turned the modern housing market into a golden calf the likes of which no one can afford. No, child, the problem is, because I dont have grandchildren, you are in fact very lonely. you need to live in a tickytacky mansion of refurbished section 8 high-rise alongside your peers! people you love to 'face book' with would be just the cure for your lazy do-nothing attitude and inability to buy 3 televisions and a luxury sedan. Take it from me-- a housing developer from a generation of people who graduated highschool during the era of segregated drinking fountains -- Living "la vidah locah" in cramped squalor with shared showers, rampant athletes foot, unreachable building maintenance, single pane windows, cots made by prison labour, and unavoidable domestic violence around every hall is the way to go!

and whatever you do, dont pay attention to the housing surplus. profiteering speculators who pedaled the worlds financial institutions to the precipice of ruination know best. In short: keep that social security money and medicaid flowing.

Comment the whole argument is moot. (Score 1) 622

whether it existed or not, recent common carrier reform from the FCC made it sacrosanct. You cant cap, shape, hijack, or rate limit internet. Carriers are toeing a dangerous line by continuing to experiment with pre-2015 policy as though no reform had ever happened.
Until the big penalties start rolling in, i suggest taking back as much bandwidth as you can. noscript and adblock get the job done, but you can also null-route known advertisers servers and subnets.
If youre running internet in a household with more than one person in it, strict firewalls are also a good way to prevent random windows bloatware from phoning home or gobbling data without your consent.

Comment dont drive the video, stream it. (Score 1) 197

since this is a tour showcase, and these monitors are all presumably providing metrics and alerts to act upon, why not encode the display and simply beam it wherever you want? OpenBroadcast project seems to have been designed for this, and would mean instead of a bunch of computers you could just buy smart TV's with embedded android.

Comment not all sets have a solution (Score 2) 208

some of these are algorithmic wankery designed solely as an observational tool to judge your approach to problem solving and performance under stress. They cant be solved, and are an utter waste of time in your presented future role, but from an HR standpoint your reaction is important. You can generally spot these if a manager asks the question instead of a more qualified technical contact on your meeting schedule. Basically, just keep throwing out answers until they get bored and move on. never say, 'i dont know' or 'i cant.'

for systems engineers, its typically some fluff question like how to build a datacenter in literal hell, or how to handle wireless voip QoS in a flying rape crisis icecream truck.

Comment its a trial, because the FCC wont buy it. (Score 3, Interesting) 264

after common carrier reforms were passed this year its really shocking to see internet providers still pulling crap like this. Comcast considers this a trial because its hoping if it rolls the whole thing out slowly enough then maybe, just maybe, it wont face scrutiny by the FCC and a class-action lawsuit.

caps, wireless hotspot whoring, advertisement injection and yes, even SRVFAIL hijacking should have come to an abrupt halt under the FCC reform. Turning your callcenters into crisis hotlines that grill you in ESL about what you use the internet for are also a pain in the ass. stop advertising internet service i can buy over the internet if it just means i have to spend 2 hours on the phone to seal the deal 3 days later when a truck drives by to hook my internet up.

Comment a strange solution (Score 1) 74

Im sure ill get downvoted for offering a non-solution but, bear with me...I think you need to take a more practical and meaningful approach to email in general...

speaking as an email administrator, Yearly archives of email are the virtual equivalent of an elderly hoarder with shoeboxes full of random correspondence. Once something is deleted, consider deleting it for good. Create a policy that, after 1 year or 30 days or $n amount of time, mail is automatically deleted regardless of whether its been read. if youve been mailed something for your personal record and its not in PDF format, click print-to-pdf, store it in an encrypted drive, and delete that message immediately. If you need information from the email for later use beyond the period of deletion then theres most surely a date youll have to act upon it. store it as a reminder in a calendar, and delete the email. the less email you have, the safer you are because youre being accountable for the data and information you're entrusted with by your peers...not just shoeboxing it.

Be careful when a loop exits to the same place from side and bottom.