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Comment: this is harmless for politicians. (Score 1) 454

by nimbius (#47765679) Attached to: Limiting the Teaching of the Scientific Process In Ohio
arguably this is as much about class as it is about religeon. a largely ignorant majority is how slaveowners for example governed thousands of africans. Keeping the scientific process out of schools is palletable to creationists as it disarms future opponents. Its popular for plutocrats as well for this same reason.

and if you think elected officials in Ohio really care about challenging this legislation, they dont. their children attent private institutions that wont need to adhere to this legislation. andy thompson owns a magazine company. Matt Huffman owns a law firm. on top of this, an ohio senators average salary range is in the starting range of six figures.

Comment: clarifying rumors: (Score 5, Funny) 114

by nimbius (#47764771) Attached to: Time Warner Cable Experiences Nationwide Internet Outage
Several rumors about this outage are circulating, so being as I work at Time Warner i thought id dispell them.

1.Your call is important to us: this is a longstanding glitch in our callcenter software. at no point do any of us sincerely have any valued interest in you, or your communication.
2.We are working to resolve the issue quickly: not likely. Tina started her lunch break at like, 10 am. im posting this from the beerpong tavern up the road. My manager is asleep in the datacenter. nick and rob from networking didnt show up today because they had like, 11 vodkas last night and that means theyll be on from vpn around 6 pm to sign their timesheet.
3.This was caused by routine maintenance: again, a rumor. Dale and I wanted a kegerator in the NOC but we were already using the fridge in there for bottled beers. Instead we emptied a rack and made space. we're calling it cellar temperature but really its a bit warmer.
4.You are all valued customers: I dont know where people get this idea. have you tried calling? seriously most of the phone tree is a circular loop. we have maybe 4 phones in this office and its incredibly difficult to order pizza and wings while you "people" keep inundating us with sob stories about your internet.

anyhow sign up for the bundle, or 3 play or whatever it is the coked up hobo in marketing calls it these days. maybe that will help, or not, i dont know. that food truck with the salvadorian food is outside again and daddy needs a pupusa so, whatever.

Comment: seriously? (Score 1) 244

by nimbius (#47758061) Attached to: TechCentral Scams Call Center Scammers

This scam can have serious repercussions

Yes and thats why no one should do it. aside from dicking around with foreign scammers you're also making a very bold assumption that theyre not part of an organized criminal syndicate capable of learning from this mistake, gathering more information about you, and directly targeting you or your family members for not only clowning around with them, but publishing an article on the hubris of your interation. Antispam researchers are absolutely familiar with everything from death threats to kilos of drugs and explosives mailed to their personal address.

Comment: its rather simple, really. (Score 4, Funny) 248

by nimbius (#47756493) Attached to: New Windows Coming In Late September -- But Which One?
You see, the next windows will be modelled after the successful launch of Vista. Threshhold will be released in 32,768 independent varieties in order to suck up every possible demographic for a ride on the microsoft money choo choo. one version will contain a golden ticket, in which the buyer is automatically invited to redmond to see the hideous chocolate factory responsible for the mere idea of the windows operating system.

Windows 9 will be the finest windows ever released, that is, to the untrained eye. In fact its simply a cleverly reskinned copy of Ubuntu with a systemd service that occasionally brands you a felon and contests the genuine authenticity of your OS.

Comment: brilliant, but with a few flaws. (Score 3, Insightful) 579

by nimbius (#47747981) Attached to: New Nail Polish Alerts Wearers To Date Rape Drugs
unless you're Penn Jillette, most men do not wear nail polish.
it would also be very important to educate the wearer that they could never, under any circumstances, topcoat as it would render the system useless. Salons would also need training on numerous procedures that, while safe for normal polish, would damage the system.

Disclosure: ive worked in a salon. my suggestion would be to offer a topcoat or clearcoat that can be added to existing colours. This system would also work well in french tips, but again, most men do not wear them.

Comment: so to put it in argumentative terms (Score 1, Insightful) 159

by nimbius (#47723655) Attached to: Microsoft Lobby Denies the State of Chile Access To Free Software
Linux: we're faster, cheaper, and just as easy to install and use as windows, plus we come with an ecosystem of thousands of applications that do exactly what yours do, but are also free.

Microsoft: You make an excellent point, and we certainly wish we had time for a formal rebuttal but for right now we're too busy shoveling cash into foreign governments and municipalities. you see, with the departure of steve ballmer, our failed cellular endeavor, our failed search engine, our failed cloud computing service, our failed apps store, our failed windows 8, our failed mp3 player, and our recent mass firing we had to do something. Just dont think about how this relates to the restructuring. it doesnt really, we're the same company as before, just a bit more immediate and desperate.

Comment: this has been a passive attack for a while now. (Score 1) 96

by nimbius (#47711599) Attached to: Your Phone Can Be Snooped On Using Its Gyroscope
originally researchers analyzed the data in the following categories. wobbling or wiggling in android devices indicated stress patterns, while violent shaking concluded frustration or rage. Finally, a single impact for iPhone devices registered as a trip to the genius bar and an unpaid credit card bill.

Comment: a poor parallel (Score 1) 418

by nimbius (#47679701) Attached to: Swedish Dad Takes Gamer Kids To Warzone
Call of Duty is nothing like actual war. instead, you should make the kids go camping for 3 days with nothing but ritz crackers, peanut butter and beef jerky. at the end, when they want to come home, phone them and let them know they did a great job so they get to camp for 3 more days. Occasionally drop off toilet paper and a roll of smartys, tell them its good for their morale. At the end of this 3 days, insist they stay 3 more days but this time leave a gas generator running next to the tent. If this is done in July, remember to stop by and stand near the generator telling bad jokes. Insist that they should appreciate it because its part of your effort to boost their morale as well. replace the beef jerky with baby food randomly. At the end of the week, take them a package of socks, gatorade and deodorant, then remove it and apologise as its for another kid with the same name also camping.

Comment: speaking as a senior engineer (Score 4, Insightful) 160

by nimbius (#47679327) Attached to: The Flight of Gifted Engineers From NASA

young engineers find that they spend a lot of time with bureaucracy, the pace is slow, their projects often get canceled or delayed, and the creative job satisfaction is poor.

Yes. im sorry you had to find out this way, but most engineering work is a bureaucratic rats nest. most of the meetings you're involved in are already pre-determined. That is, tens or hundreds of meetings in the past, before you were hired, determined the scope and pace of the particular project you've been tasked to work with. I dont task my young engineers with small tediums like compressor analysis or or structural meshing to torture them. New hires and college grads need to understand the fundamentals of our project before they dive into the bigger picture. the thermodynamic elements of most projects are a moebius strip of endless complexity few people under 10 years of experience with the company could ever comprehend. If you want creative freedom, pack your cube and go be a designer. Creative freedom may make you feel good, but when we're designing a thermonuclear power plant turbine, your special snowflake idea isnt being rejected because we dont like you but because our design has 40 years of in-the-field testing and functionality, and includes a fully scoped maintenance cycle that keeps america from celibrating its very own chernobyl.

projects can and do get cancelled. deal with it, because its rarely the result of anything you did. Maybe the nation-state that wanted your new jet engines decided to spend the money on ethnic cleansing, who knows. dont take it personally. make sure you at least learned something from that project. Finally, i cant stress this enough: you are an engineer, and the pace should be slow. part of that is in your software. ansys, nastran, and fluent jobs will run for weeks at a time, wiping your ass to make sure your design or part is solid and incapable of immolating a school under normal operational parameters. you can quicken the pace by specifying realistic resources to use before you submit to the simulation cluster, and optimizing your simulations instead of queueing them up, locking your screen, and going off to lunch. monitor your checkpoints for failures in convergence. use the latest software instead of demonizing it. run it multicore, and for god sake stop being retiscent and stubborn about new shit that can help you like simulation timing blocks. and another thing, close the application so your license is returned to the pool and can be used on other projects, most of which yours depends on.

now get off my lawn.

Comment: as a rider, a lot of questions still remain. (Score 1) 126

by nimbius (#47663697) Attached to: Android Motorcycle Helmet/HUD Gains Funding
the excitement about the ironman theme seems to have eclipsed some major questions that I feel haven't been answered for many riders. call me a hater, but I guess the customer reviews will need to answer these:

1. what is the weight of this helmet?
2. did we ever solve the battery issue? how long, really, does this thing last?
3. im sure skully is all ears in san francisco, where your average motoring speed is well under 35, but can this thing communicate with me at highway speed?
4. is this device water resistant?
5. can it be charged from my bike like my phone?
6. what about riders with glasses?
7. many bikes already include bluetooth interfaces, how does Skully play with them?
as it stands, i can only see the helmet being adopted by vespa riding hipsters and the 20something lowered litrebike crowd; both of whom never leave main street or the comfort of first gear. anyone familiar with interstate and cross country riding already enjoy most everything skully provides. radio, pandora, gps, bluetooth, camera (front and rear) as well as realtime weather and traffic. its all been there for around a decade and already interfaces with bluetooth equipped helmets that are far more battle tested.

"A car is just a big purse on wheels." -- Johanna Reynolds