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Comment a daunting task no doubt. (Score 5, Funny) 169

cern manager: we've disconnected 4 cables...can anyone confirm on the console that these are disconnected?
cern engineer: nothing new here chief.
cern researcher: my panini press stopped working.
cern manager: ok wrong cable
cern engineer: janice had a panini press in her office?! I want one
cern manager: guys lets not get off track here...
cern mathematician: Where do I file a report about the espresso maker? its seemed to quit working entirely.
cern laureate: my jack lalane power juicer just cut out and im mid-smoothie, this is urgent...
cern manager: just use the vitamix in my lab.
cern engineer: vitamix?! am i the only one here whos been drinking freeze dry sanka for 5 years?!
cern mathematician: of course not Ive been drinking your sanka too...

Comment always entertaining (Score 1) 238

I know its a bit of a stretch but math loves physics...What I got as a poor child growing up at christmas was the best a loving parent could offer: a set of two hydrogens and an oxygen.

Oh I had fun all day long with those little atoms. I lent my friends the hydrogens and kept that oxygen for months, categorizing its weight and marveling at its gaseous nature. Right up until mom decided I should share it with my sister and the last thing i remember after an argument about splitting it was one hell of a blaze and my old man barking something about the furnace being on the fritz.

Comment the same holds true for cleared pharmaceutical (Score 1) 232

In the states, we have pharmaceutical ads on television that are usually suffixed with a chyron or various disclaimers and a string of long-winded and frankly quite mumbly side effects all played over the backdrop of a beautiful sunset or a babbling brook. As someone whos worked in pharmaceuticals in the past, the biggest favour you can do for yourself when watching one of these commercials is to suffix your own side effect onto the drug at the end, one they often refer to mention. "Or death."

Comment simple answer. (Score 1) 311

I think despite our best efforts to track down the issue, be it money or advertiser influence or lack of truly independent editorial staff, one thing remains true. The answer to a lack of quality journalism in the internet age should always and forever be directly attributed solely to Timmy.

now let us all turn our heads and cast our neverending gaze of shame and distrust upon him.

Comment a simple but short lived advantage may explain it (Score 1) 208

the reason a legacy of GPL can be attributed ot stallman is because of the egregious error of computing in capitalism. Namely, the means of production of code were given to coders themselves and in doing so they were empowered to construct the terms of that softwares use.

Hardware has enjoyed this luxury for quite some time, however its days may be numbered. open source firmware for routers and mp3 players has existed for a while, and open source chip design and hardware is slowly coming to fruition with the open hardware laptop by bunny huang and programmable keyboards from input.club.

expect a future of open hardware to seem eerily familiar to the future of open source software. First its ignored, then its laughed at, then its attacked as inferior and dangerous, and finally its either embraced by hackers and business or outlawed through a combination of DMCA style legislative chicanery and thoughtcrime akin to aaron schwartz.

Comment Re:anyone, employee or not, can (and should) buy s (Score 1) 258

the point to emphasize is that the CEO has an enormous advantage over the average employee as he was given a number of shares during his hire. And while most employees can buy stocks, for very few of them does it seriously matter. The stock market is not designed, nor has it ever been predicated, on casual investors.

this is how the vast majority of millionaires BECOME millionaires - buying a bit of stock each month, typically through a mutual fund.

This is a widely held belief, but its false. The average millionaire is a millionaire because of the concept of dynastic wealth. They are rich through the lottery of birth. conversely, the average american stands no chance to enter a circle of millionaires simply through investment. GE has for example 9.4 billion shares, each costing around $23 a piece, and each returning approximately 25 cents of interest. you would need to purchase, at minimum, around half a million shares before you realized even upper-middle class living standards from your investment. Wealth sees new entry through sports stars and pop stars, and occasional lottery winners however statistically, this makes up a fraction of a percentage of all millionaires.

Comment you can talk, but its just a distraction (Score 3, Interesting) 258

lets take a moment to discuss the CEO of buffer:

Joel CEO 2010-08-01 New York, NY, USA $218,000

now, its tempting to assume this is a very reasonable regular salary for such a high position. you may even feel compelled to complement Joel on his humility, but dont. What isnt disclosed is Joels quarterly and yearly CEO bonus as well as his earnings from any assets he may hold in the buffer corporation such as interest from stock or dividends paid.

what the buffer corporation, and i suspect a large number of other more libertarian 'uber economy' minded corporations, are trying to do is get employees to compete amongst eachother for salary equity while ignoring the bigger picture: the control of the corporation and its assets are fundamentally outside their scope of influence. They participate in the companies performance and production, but gain very little from its successes outside their formal salary. The companies operational objective, for example, is stockholder value and not the greater good of providing gainful employment and retirement security for its employees. I also conject that 'open salaries' are a clever means of equalization for tech industries that are sick and tired of having to pay market price for talented IT staff and coders.

Comment there are two potential outcomes. (Score 4, Interesting) 132

outcome 1: Administration has as good laugh, invites teen to the whitehouse and a tour of the CIA. STEM and CS agendas are lauded and the teens intuition and cleverness are chamioned as a sterling mark of american ingenuity and creativity. peace in the middle east is championed as a fundamental necessity of the 21st century
outcome 2: the teen spends half a decade in juvenile incarceration and another few years in a correcitonal facility after age 18. his parents find gainful employment hard to come by. as a convicted felon the teen loses access to PEL grants and scholarships required to attend college. everything from fast food to janitorial work refuses to hire a felon, and public assistance programs from section 8 housing to food benefits categorically deny him.

Comment thank god for this politician. (Score 1) 257

legislators: we should tackle existing agenda items such as the impending repeal of our states healthcare exchange from a newly elected governor, or the drug crisis in cities like Covington and Louisville.
John Carney: I wrote something on a dennys napkin about people who do things i dont like.

Comment who really cares? (Score 5, Insightful) 102

Im sure for anyone who bought a "drone" 2 weeks ago at christmas, this article is neat. However fearmongering aside Terorrism in 2015 killed only 34 people in the United States, the country with the most drones. heck, in 2014 auto accidents alone killed 34,000 people here...and by comparison terorrism is almost a non-issue when pitted against heart disease, which kills 610,000 per year. Unlike terrorism, which is costly to defend against, most of the cases of heart disease in the united states that claim a life could have been prevented by simple diet and exercise. Hell, in 2013 there were 33,000 firearm related deaths in the US, almost 1000 times the number of terrorism related deaths.

but, you know...terorrism...gotta stop those terrorists.

Comment some clarification (Score 1, Interesting) 137

Clear Linux ships in an optimized form for delivering best performance on INTEL x86 hardware with enabling many INTEL compiler optimizations by default

For major corporate environments, this means nothing as youve likely been married to Intel hardware for quite some time. For startups, most of these features are pointless:
Autoproxy: is compensating for departmental overhead and the bloat of a monolithic organizational structure that prevents network operations or system administrators from coherently deploying a server outside the corporate proxy.
Function Multiversioning (FMV): is intels solution for the -march=native compiler flag. Want your code to scream on haswell and crawl on bulldozer? Intel sure does, and what better way to ensure that then fucking with the compiler again.
Telemetry: something something agile...something something quality...we rewrote the linux Backtrace so in 15 years after we lose interest in clear linux, your code is still hobbled to us.
clear containers: take something an open source team worked almost a decade on and slap you brand on it. viola.
stateless: half a dozen devops tools already take care of imaging, reimaging, config management, and the rest. but lets have an Intel proprietary solution too. after all, Openstack is no fun unless youre vendor dependent all over again.
debug: did we mention we fucked with the compiler again? it was awesome when we did it to kill AMD64, and now its awesome again when we're trying to kill openstacks vendor-independent features.

Comment im sure word about this spread quickly (Score 1) 189

thug on a phone: Yeah Tony look, we need to lay low for a bit...yeah....no I know its arriving this Saturday but see listen...those cameras? Yeah...on the pole at 23rd street Tony just look at em....of course! they know Tony...THEY know about the grease man its only a matter of time before they figure it....what?.....jesus christ Tony you're a genius.....Nobody would ever suspect it....yeah of course I've had McDonalds!

Comment wow...just...wow. (Score 0, Troll) 154

What this country needs is an inspirational space program. I'll bet @realDonaldTrump could do it.

Rob --can I call you Rob?-- Rob, what youre proposing is that a 69 year old living anachronism of economic wrack and ruin that predicated everything from the death of the middle class to the torpedoing of the american dream through predatory lending and carte-blanc bailout...is going to somehow get it together in 10 months and become the next president of the United States. Granted, bush is an excellent example of how sometimes the electoral college conspires to pedal this nation into a gaping fiery hell-maw of endless war and poverty...however...at no point does a man whos alienated every known minority in the country stand a chance of doing anything more than passing by 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in a Rolls Royce, clenching his fists and swirling his caviar around his vacuous cocksucker of a mouth as he pines for the days of Reagan oncemore.

now, laughably, should a republican actually secure the presidency in 2016, youre going to find out the hard way that never ever would he fund something his party has been diametrically and vehemently opposed to ever since the fall of the Soviet Union. That is, unless your space program involves ground troops in the middle east or a renewed commitment to the war on drugs. Does your space program install american backed dictators in key islamic states? does it destabilize threats to american capitalism in central and south america? is it somehow working to disenfranchise millions of voters across the country? then no, its not getting any cheddar from a man who once starred on a television show that made light of terminating employees.

Comment the REAL reason for this might surprise you. (Score 3, Funny) 146

Sure, a loudspeaker campaign might not seem like the most tactful or appropriate means to an end of nearly half a century of aggression but take for a moment to consider this: Korea, both north and south, has succeeded in creating the worlds only 160 mile long insufferable asian shouting contest. Thats right. while problems like global warming, climate change, systemic poverty, famine, and clean potable drinking water exist around the globe we can all take comfort in knowing Korea, both north and south, have taken the important first step of solving the major global defecit of a 160 mile audible pissing contest.

Comment speaking from the DOA, maybe i can clarify. (Score 4, Funny) 228

As a DOA manager, and having overseen part of the autopsy, I can tell you with all certainty that medical privacy is of tyhe utmost importance. Lets face it: you know it, I know it, the world knows it. The south river is about as healthy as a bullet to the head, but many people dont yet know how awful its become outside of the realm of its recent acclaim from the guinness book of records for "most likely to spread an epidemic plague of black death and ebola." For example, did you know that the south river is now viscous enough to float a bowling ball? or did you know that on a cold winters day you can huddle near its many eddies and currents for warmth from its innumerable short and long bursts of radiation as a byproduct of its constant brush with nuclear criticality? Many of my employees tell stories of how after misplacing their cigarette lighter they simply dip the end of a marlborough into the river instead. And lets not get started on "the voices" that compelled nearly two dozen virgin women to enter the deep, never to return.

trust me. things are well under control and you needn't worry yourself with frivolous reports of the 300 foot tall "dolphin" with "spiderlike appendages" now roaming the countryside in search of "blood and bone." Having communicated with us telephathically it has been very stern in its demand for medical privacy both in words and in the uncontrollable nosebleeds affecting our newborns.

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