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Comment: hopin to get some funding for my project (Score 2) 546

Ive come to find in my scientific research that black people have a tremendous underrepresentation in the STEM fields. My proposal im sure youll find unique and enriching, is of course to create a special school. This school, for blacks only of course, would focus on fostering STEM education. Ideally this school, while entirely ignoring existing structural inequality and systemic racism in society predicating everything from wage to employment discrimination, will serve as a beacon for for 21st century STEM future.

However should it become too cost prohibitive, or should quarterly market revenue predictions indicate the inability to fellate shareholders with ever glorious profits increasing in an unsustainably linear fashion, I'll close the school and turn it into an H1B visa advocacy think tank. Should this fail too, I'll renovate the first floor into an Urban Outfitters and the second floor will become a janitorial company entirely unrelated to race, class, or capitalist striafication in america. Failing these remarkable endeavors I have another project my stakeholders have approved which involves grinding human bone to a fine powder, then amalgamating this dust with adhesives manufactured from endangered birds and creating a final product suitable to paint road lines.

Comment: im sure the initial proposal was neat. (Score 4, Funny) 137

by nimbius (#49492777) Attached to: Scientists Close To Solving the Mystery of Where Dogs Came From
Scientist 1: nature is wonderous in its mystery, its complexity and its form. But rarely have any of us asked the question where does the dog, the canine, come from?
Scientist 2: thats not what we should be asking at all. theres no scientific inquiry to be had and the topic just distracts from serious and important issues like...
Scientist 1: Like the origin of dog! how long have dogs been here?! how did they evolve? have the always been mans best friend?
Scientist 2: Im getting real sick of your shit, jerry, we both know its your dog thats crapping all over my yard.
Scientist 1: but we cannot be certain until we delve into the scientific nature of dog!
Scientist 2: oh for christsake.

Comment: the article betrays a misunderstanding (Score 0) 463

by nimbius (#49485351) Attached to: Seattle CEO Cuts $1 Million Salary To $70K, Raises Employee Salaries

Good business practice? Silly boosterism? Enlightened self-interest?

how about a lack of understanding of exactly how millionaires and the wealthy operate in society. The fact that this CEO took more than a tenfold pay decrease is irrelevant. hes paid for homes and invested heavily in stocks to such a degree that he, like other rich people, lives off dividends and interest from investment. These forms of income, as our plutocrats have decreed, are taxed much less than wage income, what the average dirt-riddled peasant earns. While his salary might be paltry it also misrepresents what C level pay really represents as a token of corporate esteem and establishment. in other words, C level pay is a mark of status for a company.

the sad fact is by reducing his pay to the level of commoners, hes done an excellent job of reducing the amount of taxes he pays. the good news is Hes also given free publicity to the company and likely reduced turnover. Ultimately Dans private college attendance infers hes quite a bit more well-to-do than one might think. A trust fund does wonders to the average business owners outlook on the world.

Comment: stakes have never been higher (Score 4, Funny) 231

by nimbius (#49484885) Attached to: Can Online Reporting System Help Prevent Sexual Assaults On Campus?

some argue that having the ability to report someone with just the click of a button may not be a good thing.

No, you dont understand. This is the internet, but more importantly, its 4chan. I want you to envision a storm of millions of reports, hundreds of millions even, of the same perpetrator, Mooty McMootykins. He stands 21 inches tall and shoots cookies from his arse. The student attends $university and is majoring in hitler-did-nothing-wrong. Students should beware of a man dressed as a watermelon who propositions victims with "Has Anyone Really Been Far Even as Decided to Use Even Go Want to do Look More Like?" Students have reported that mcmootykins cannot be stopped because you cannot flim flam the zim zam. he also evades approach because you cant corner the dorner. each report ends confirming the students suspicion that the perpetrator suffers from gender ptsd caused by his planetkin alignment and inability to remove kebab.

Comment: Ive compiled a list. (Score 4, Funny) 182

by nimbius (#49484829) Attached to: How Many Hoaxes Are On Wikipedia? No One Knows
Having worked on this problem for a while, ive found exactly 5 total hoaxes on wikipedia (no more.) Please remove the following articles:

1. Edward Snowden: is not actually a person, this is an old wives tale. E. Snowden is a hybrid cultivar of the genus Aechmea in the Bromeliad family.
2. 9/11: Although commonly thought of as a terrorist attack that claimed the lives of several thousand americans, this too is just a silly rumour. 9/11 is a town and municipality located in the province and autonomous community of Navarre, northern Spain.
3. Barack Obama: This fools several laymen and scholars alike! Obama isnt a president, but was a motor race set to Formula One rules, held on 30 July 1950. The race was won by Argentinean driver Juan Manuel Fangio after a distance of 68 laps.
4. Christmas: Again, not a holiday at all. He was actually a Polish Air Force Captain and Allied double agent during World War II, using the codename Brutus. After having been offered safety by the Germans, he was sent to England as an agent. However, he made himself known to the British authorities. He was de-briefed by the British (MI6) and Polish authorities about the security lapses of his organization in France. And thats why we have Christmas trees today!
5. Computers: could NEVER have been real, and most of us know this one to be true. The computer is actually a Ukrainian professional football coach and a former player. As of 2009, he works as an assistant coach with FC Dnipro Dnipropetrovsk.

Comment: as an automotive engineer, nope. (Score 3, Informative) 189

by nimbius (#49484203) Attached to: The Car That Knows When You'll Get In an Accident Before You Do
I love inventors, hackers, and the like, but as an automotive envineer for a large manufacturer that rhymes with Wanda, this has some serious flaws:

it has a camera pointed at me from the corner of the windshield recording my every eye movement

Unless you're looking over your shoulder to execute a reverse maneuver from a parking space or driveway, which is generally good form in driving and encouraged in DMV training, then its useless.

it can predict what I'm going to do behind the wheel seconds before I do it.

Unless the collision is due to a preventable combination of excessive speed, poor visibility and road conditions, and insufficient vehicle maintenance in which case the system isnt helpful. youll also find a high rate of false positives for the following:
1. glancing toward the radio and climate controls.
2. large vehicles. Trucks, semis, and even imposing suv's can cause subconscious distraction from the road and unpredictable eye movement.
3. rain, snow, anything that hits the windshield in general, causes strange eye movement. squinting, blinking, you name it. There is an entire physiology to why we subconsciously act the way we do when something hits a windscreen.
4. Your phone. buzzing, beeping, will cause subconscious visual abberation and deviation. 5. entering and exiting tunnels causes pupil tracking issues, eye movement, and a range of other light sensitive problems for most tracking rigs. you actively have to compensate for a pulsing, somewhat unpredictable level of cockpit light. how the human eye does this is amazing to me.

So in terms of production automobiles, we've gotten exceedingly good at keeping soft, warm, impact prone parts of the human body from being badly injured or damaged. 8-12 airbags are fairly standard on most cars these days. Autobraking is a fairly simple technology as well, so expect to see that on more models. But the number one reason why safety in a car continues to decline is speed. Drivers routinely make false assumptions that roads are 'rated for' speeds higher than the limit, or that its casual and normal to go faster, or that their car is 'capable' of faster speeds when they dont realize the limiting factor in he equation is the human. human reaction times are fine for anything less than 9.8m/s^2, but above that we're horrible. speed limits factor in surviveability for both vehicles as well, not just your Canyonero SUV. Inattentive drivers? sure, but the technology has existed in Mercedes for 10 years, and lane assit warning tech helps catch the glaring problems with most drivers. Disclaimer: the company i work for has tried optical tracking in the past.

Comment: hes not the one to blame. (Score 5, Insightful) 160

Blame Austria for their baseless breech of the immunity and inviolability of a president and their aircraft. Diplomatic protocol is widely known and respected across Europe.

Blame Spain, Portugal, and France for falling lock-step in line with Washingtons witch hunt, instead of championing their own sovreignity and autonomy.

Blame the United States for violating diplomatic protocol, strong-arming foreign nations, and once again doing it all without so much as a shred of concrete evidence.

but dont blame Snowden. If anything he simply exposed the cowardice of European member states and the desparate measures to which a broken superpower would go to readily secure their latest antihero in preparation for kangaroo court.

If we were to analyze the situation another way, Imagine Bolivia were so desperate to bring George Bush to trial for Iraqi warcrimes that it forced the presidents jet to land in Lithuania and be forcibly searched for 9/11 documents.

Comment: anythings better than the current system (Score 5, Funny) 91

by nimbius (#49464277) Attached to: Killer Robots In Plato's Cave
AGM-129 cruise missile Hey guise! i found your target and ill be there in about 7 minutes :)
USS Rosevelt OK on a second that target might not be might be friendly?
AGM-129 o...k...guise im going 500 miles per hour here so i kind of need an answer...
USS Rosevelt: so heres the thing, we supported the guy in 1991, but then we invaded in 2002 and we thought he had chemical weapons, see...but...its complicated
AGM-129 How complicated, complicated like Jeopardy or like my INERTIAL GUIDANCE GPS TRACKING thats about to intercept the target you told me to find. because its coming up REAL QUICK. I just passed that starbucks the other AGM mentioned...
USS Rosevelt:OK OK new story. this is about freedom...patriotism...
AGM-129: for the last time IM NOT A PATRIOT hes still on the ship im an AGM-129 dear lord please make a decision
USS Rosevelt: You know what? screw it. we'll just tell people we're bringing democracy, or quarter pounders, or something. whatever.
AGM-129 so is that a yes or what because I har3@$T(^&*[CARRIER LOST]
USS Rosevelt: Yep. Democracy.

Comment: laugh all you want. (Score 2) 74

by nimbius (#49464091) Attached to: 1980's Soviet Bloc Computing: Printers, Mice, and Cassette Decks
wayback machine trips to old soviet satellites are always a thrill until you realized what these states were: Speed bumps. Most satellites had to be gobbled up as part of soviet expansionist communisms ethos, but they were actually a substantial economic drain on Moscow. the education was poor, most societies were agrarian, and infrastructure was infantile compared to the motherland. Capitalizing on them meant shoveling nuclear and civil works projects into them, pumping billions rubles into their coffers while doing so. Education was immediately improved, but the focus on mathematics and sciences was dwarfed by the local politburo members to ensure they had enough cobblers, welders, masons, and mechanics to forge what the USSR had ultimately envisioned. Personal computing was a distant third in a lot of ways and by the time the Afghan war had metasticized into a full-blown proxy war with the US, many satellite states were simply human fodder for a meat-grinder campaign that saw heavy casualties on all sides.

So if youre old enough to remember your first mouse, dont take that for granted. your duly assigned Glorious Leader for the region was under immense pressure to turn it into a socket wrench, or a kalashnikov.

Comment: I was certainly one of them. (Score 5, Funny) 289

I'll admit i was originally apprehensive of getting out of bed at all today until i remembered, with the help of my scheduling butler, the arrival of apples newest wristwatch. Perusing my collection of rare finds from Rolex this morning in the yachts liesure room, as I certainly couldnt bare the shame of being seen in public without a standard timepiece, I chose to dress down as I'd be among the city folk today. Stepping off my yacht and into my helicopter, I could hardly contain my anticipation and as soon as I arrived and my driver was upon the tarmac, I made haste toward the perignon and reclined albeit only subtly in the hand stitched leater seating of the Bentley (im told the city people mostly confine themselves to Bentley and i shouldnt wish to casue a stir.) Finally, after what seemed an eternity of film and caviar I arrived at the Apple store, gazed longingly at the line, and tool delivery of my very own Apple watch from my travel liason. And wouldnt you know, theyre quite a steal at only ten thousand dollars.

now ive heard tell of people saying theyre quite a bit more after "tax" but I assure you ive no concept of what that may be in relation to the product. Perhaps some unsavoury orientals have swindled you good folk, and purloined your earned cash for the song of this "tax."

Comment: im not sure most people know how bad it is. (Score 1) 99

with budgets within many school districts running dry

Primary and secondary public education coffers have been moth riddled and bare for more than 30 years. most districs charge for class books, even if its only 5-10 dollars each. Sports facilities get facelifts only from local franchise fast food franchise moguls and the system routinely finds itself ardently justifying lunches that consist of pizza and french fries every day of the week. History class is a hodgepodge of bill nye reruns and just enough basics to get you through standardized testing, while biology and science classes casually cover balancing chemical equations and photosynthesis at a pace slow enough at which they can intentionally avoid the sociopolitical shit-storm of teaching evolution in an american school. Math, or what we refer to as math, is simple arithmetic by any international standard, avoids too much homework, and keeps it easy enough that the football team can pass.

comparing american and asian education systems is foolish. We once put an MTV owned project called Channel One TV, in nearly every school in the country with the promise of video learning but it eventually bore its true colours as a targeted advertising platform. When we're not packing hallways with vending machines and hustling kids into not-so-voluntary asvab military testing, we occasionally find time for asbestos abatement or the ever growing swath of parents that simply refuse to take part in their childs education from even the most cursory standpoint. So even if we did have 3d printers we wouldnt know how to use them, where to install them, or how to interface them with our 10 year Dell hand-me-down PC's.

Comment: punish the administrators. (Score 4, Insightful) 626

As a sysadmin this brings me to tears of anger because this isnt the kids fault and instead of learning about the system or security, theyre just learning what it feels like to be incarcerated without due process.

a competent IT department for the education system has likely determined a best-practices for passwords but been overruled by administrators and staff citing computers, their difficulty, and their ironic unwillingness to themselves learn. Result: easy passwords. Instead of paperwork, meetings with staff, meetings with IT, and a documented record of a potential lapse in workplace best practises the educators have decided to railroad some poor kid into a trial offer of the prison pipeline and continue with school, business as usual.

Comment: conversely. (Score 4, Insightful) 210

Im sure an easy algorythm can be generated for when management is about to push a valuable employee out the door:

1. have you turned every change or alteration into a mindless bureaucratic rats nest of meetings and superfluous documentation that could best be handled through email?
2. Have you allowed the most vocal customers and users to continuously abuse his talent and divert his attention to helpdesk issues that make you look good at his expense?
3. Have you refused to consider his technical opinion on the design or development of a product or solution and instead just done what the sales rep told you or what would cause the least number of meetings or beurocratic effort?
4. Have you placed overwhelming reliance on him to micromanage his coworkers changes and projects instead of working to ensure they properly document and communicate instead? did he receive a silent promotion to assitant management?

Have you ever noticed that the people who are always trying to tell you `there's a time for work and a time for play' never find the time for play?