After declaring Telstra to be the strongest proof of Satan in Australia, he called technical support, and could only assume that the entity, after all, did not exist in any substantial or comprehensible fashion.
He did later though find Satan was alive and well after he opened a business account and was confounded upon receiving his first bill. He was further concerned and suspected Satan was a twin who was exploiting the masses when he needed some water to turn to wine, and discovered, a case of wine was cheaper, and considerably fresher.
He tried making some fish from fish, and found it simply took to long for them to be repackaged ans shipped back from Asia.
While waiting for the aforementioned technical support, he perished on hold waiting for some sense of culture and ecumenical compassionate sensibility. Nobody, of course was to blame. They read the manual. They said everything it told them to."