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Submission + - DOJ 411: UEFI DMCA Violators DOA. GPS. 10-4?

mtrachtenberg writes: M E M O R A N D U M
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United States Department of Justice

Division for Intellectual Property Rights
and Maintenance of the Faith

Office for the Preservation of Microsoft

As per prior memoranda from this office, all points are alerted that uncooperative elements are still attempting to authorize non-Microsoft software (Linux, BSD, Z80 assembler) to run on US and Microsoft approved computing equipment.

It has been clearly established that Microsoft's financial survival is of code mauve importance to the American economy, at an equal level to that of Goldman Sachs and Citicorp. Therefore, this office is implementing Code Swartz immediately.

Drones shall lock and load on the GPS coordinates of abusers, and shall fire at will. Open source computing is like fluoridation — an assault on American values and freedom.

(P.S.: Nothing in this memorandum is to be construed as authorizing any activity illegal under the Constitution as interpreted by the Roberts court. If uncertain, contact the authorities at Guantanamo Bay.)

Neckties strangle clear thinking. -- Lin Yutang