I tend to do this king of stuff (automated test harnesses) with Python (equipped with necessary platform-specific libraries). Naturally, this is Windows so COM and WMI are your friends. Note that IPython makes for an excellent shell for trying stuff out. I tend to go back and forth between Linux and Windows and Python definitely is a transferable skill.

That's why all browsers now have the 'porn' mode.

>> (I would happily pay a few bucks extra a month to get a pirate's licence, by the way)

Once you pay the licence fee, you are not a pirate anymore. You would be called a privateer, in the employ of Her Majesty. However, do remember to carry your letters of marque on you while outside our territorial waters.

No, it is not laughable. Unless, that is, your laughter trigger is so sensitive you burst out at the sight of a little girl dropping her ice cream cone...

Seriously, though. I made an experiment and switched to bing at one of my workstations. I found bing clearly inferior to current google, but only by that much. Its performance (and I mean relevance of results) is adequate. Not great, but adequate. It is clearly the number two, way above anything else but google.

Perhaps they meant the vice principal was to seek counseling? Otherwise his fears may simply stop his poor heart one day.

You should have left it at that. The post is hilarious, even though the author might have meant otherwise.

You are sooo full of it! Look, I knew a chap once who, driven by peer pressure, shot another person. Would you absolve him from any personal responsibility, too?

Once you get past your high school morose you will figure out that adults need to stand up to 'peer pressure' from time to time.

They are not necessarily corrupt. The just adjust easily. Perhaps this is why they are called 'servants'.

Don't resist, just go for it. There is a nice discussion on the many meaning of the word 'kleenex' right below...