Maybe avian?

I for one welcome our sentient turkey cyborg overlords.

How about a nice game of chess?

That happened to me you insensitive clod! My connection went down for about a day last year and when I checked my ISP's status page when it came back up, it turned out someone at BT had accidentally disconnected them from BT Wholesale while testing a circuit.

"it's creepy."

The Monster reviews are hilarious:

"i purchased this cable the connection became extremely faster and i am enjoying my online matches more!"

Can't....type.....horrible image of Ballmer....in Care Bear outfit.

And if it fries your switch, or you slice your hand open installing it, you could get legal advice from Bob Loblaw's Law Blog.

I once knew a Welsh girl who's name had more syllables than vowels.

Why would you want to put a netbook up your...oh you said ear.

If you are good at C programming and have too much free time, Linux has everything you need to write a simple capture/streaming application.