To answer some of your points.
MMO Game mechanics do not always draw themselves out with 100% visibility. Your tank has threat on the boss, so the boss doesn't try to squish the mage. This is because your tank has a number of abilities that, via game mechanics, allows him to hold the attention of the boss. Your tank hit taunt? Maybe this is (literally) verbally taunting the boss.. or maybe it's trying to kick him in the balls, thus enraging him.. or maybe magic is involved, in which case it Can Just Happen.
Crowd control has existed in numerous fights. CC does not have to be polymorphing your target. CC is a way of occupying your target to reduce their effectiveness. In MMOs you see this as sleep, freeze, shapeshift, rooting, etc. There are countless situations where someone has used the RL equivalent of CC.
Class balance is a constant issue in all MMOs that I have seen. Every time the developers make a major change, they have to take in to account, maybe adjust, the rest of the classes to fit it in. Sometimes you get a class that is OverPowered, in which case they get the Nerfbat (changed to balance.)
Regarding Damage versus Death.. most people want to not get 1-shot. Say you hit someone with a 2-handed mace. In real life, if you smacked them in the head with that weapon they would likely be dead. Yeah, that sounds fun. Until you get hit instead of being the person doing the hitting. So, to make the game more interesting to play, and more fun, you get damage. That 2-hander does more damage than a single-hand mace, but it's not gonna 1-shot someone unless they are notably weaker.
Class choice is totally personal preference.
Stealth usage in daylight to ambush someone is yet another thing that is a mechanics thing. Yes, if you really were gonna stealth and ambush someone you would need a lot of time, information on location, prep work, etc. You would have to set up carefully, and would probably mess it up unless you were really good at it.
Which is not what most gamers want. Most people playing MMOs want a game where they can do things relatively quickly, and effectively. They want to be able to push the envelope, but they don't want it to be easy to just slaughter everyone.. because they don't want to be slaughtered. (not once they recall they would be open season, as well) Since it's a game, they want to have fun, and they don't want it to take long amounts of time to do things. If it took even 5 minutes to set up an ambush, for instance, no one would do it. Also, since you're looking at an accelerated pace for everything, it's very unlikely that your target will still be available in 5 minutes, in an MMO. If you were to try and collect 10 wolf tails in RL, you would have to spend hours or days doing so. In an MMO this takes minutes, at most. (assuming the drop rate has not been nerfed)
Dungeons are another personal thing. I like a good dungeon run, but I know people who hate them. I, on the other hand, rarely PvP.. but I know people who eat and breathe PvP Battlegrounds and Arenas. Others just like the quests, or maybe they just use the MMO for RPing with other like-minded players. An aside, some of the MMO companies out there have been working on making the dungeons more enjoyable, as well. Blizzard's current 5man model seems to be based around being able to walk out the end of the dungeon within one hour, assuming you don't have major problems along the way. (Usually within 45 minutes, actually)
In the end, it's a game. A notable portion of the game is based on life, on history.. but only based. Play what games you enjoy, and have fun.
Theory is gray, but the golden tree of life is green. -- Goethe