When did you last spin up an EC2 instance? I wait at least 5 mins, sometimes closer to 10, for an image to launch.
Granted the EBS-backed AMIs will boot faster as the image is already boot-ready.
Kurzweil, in his "I'm going to live forever" book, recommended using headsets and wrapping the cord through one of those ferrite donuts in order to dampen any leaking EM waves.
He didn't sell them himself, however.
Hmm.. business idea. Just need to find a good spammer.. j/k
May I suggest you cancel your cable or satellite TV? You've already indicated your awareness that it is completely manufactured drivel. Mainstream media to real life is like Cramer is to investing -- not to be paid attention to and ideally not to be watched period.
Just turn the shit off and go do something outside.