The selected company will pamper, spoil and bow to the most ludicrous whim of the employee who shall be assumed to be operating on either the Prima Donna or Primo Uomo platform. This company will also be responsible for designing, implementing and deploying an ivory tower from whence the employee shall make proclamations to an audience of no less than 95% of upper management.
4+ Years of ASS Kissing
Excellent understating of Nerd nomenclature and culture
Experience in scheduling something once and never having to adjust the schedule
Has Knowledge On Proper Capitalization of Sentences as Well As grammaticallitiness and speling.
Excellent Knowledge in an area outside of n-Minute management books
In-depth knowledge of employees preferred file naming and file organization structure
Troubleshoot executive chair noises and adjustments
Ability to explain, in depth, all acronyms used in job postings to a technical audience chosen by the employee
Availability of HR to cheerfully answer all drunk texts with no repercussions
Familiar with GTD (Getting Things Done) tools like OmniFocus
Knowledge of Esperanto
Knowledge of Irrationals (like e, pi, phi, etc.)
Location: French Riviera
Duration: 5 years minimum guaranteed
Rate: $225k/yr salaried, $170/hr OT for hours greater than 30/week, and 16 weeks starting vacation per year with 4 week increments each subsequent year
The only hits you'll get will be from really desperate companies that will bail on you the first chance they get or companies run by complete idiots. Or maybe HHS with a website project.