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Comment: Re:Full blooded American here (Score 1) 596

by kesuki (#49179685) Attached to: Snowden Reportedly In Talks To Return To US To Face Trial

snowden has a lot of options, he could wipe his mind clean and then be completely a vegitable. for one. i'm sure there are bugs that would love to infest his brain too... or he could just learn how to spontaneously combust. he could try to grow plants inside his body that use fusion to power their growth and petrify his heart while he still lives. he could use an array of abacus to start number crunching the full length string of pi. he could lock his brain in a infinite loop of forkbombs... even if they dd his brain the password file is probably eroded from the acid rain. so only guest accounts with no passwords can log in...

Comment: Re:How did they do it (Score 1, Funny) 56

by kesuki (#49178929) Attached to: Lost City Discovered In Honduran Rain Forest

"I'm always amazed that they were able to build a civilization in such a thick jungle."

have you ever heard of Wraith bioelectronics? how about Zerg bio-infestation? what about the orc former ally the undead serving nazul?

a zero-point-module can sustain a sufficently large jungle if it gets one the above applied to it.

Comment: Re:someone else can be first (Score 1, Informative) 112

by kesuki (#49178901) Attached to: Schneier: Either Everyone Is Cyber-secure Or No One Is

packet injection for dummies.
1. user initiates comms
2. MITM detects comms
3. MITM rewrited packet headers and sends falsified packets AS user
4. Computer reads funny joke
5. computer spits coffee into keyboard
6. device is fried, user is blamed.
7. government sells broken device to user
8. user can't push device sold to them
9. user wishes it never happened
10. quantum paradox occurs
11. server reboots
12. ???
13. nuked from orbit
14. goto step 1.
15. bitch complains about tight loop.

Comment: Re:Wanna know a secret? (Score 2) 107

by kesuki (#49156297) Attached to: Blu-Ray Players Hackable Via Malicious Discs

a good firewalled computer will block 99.999% of the outbound requests and only transmit via backdoors in the system. they then are breaking the law to claim you are breaking the law, and thus you have a right to sue them for using a backdoor on your systems.


"In addition to violations of the Consumer Protection Against Computer Spyware Act of 2005, which allowed for civil penalties of $100,000 for each violation of the law, the alleged violations added in the updated lawsuit (on December 21, 2005) carried maximum penalties of $20,000 per violation."

Comment: Re:Actually (Score 1) 532

by kesuki (#49098829) Attached to: Stephen Hawking: Biggest Human Failing Is Aggression

"Or what if testosterone levels in the developed world were reduced by almost 30% by using an insidious combination of phyto-estrogens, cholesterol-reducing statin drugs, plastic water bottles, ubiquitous soy, and birth control pills polluting recycled water."

those words don't mean what you think they do.
1 hidden text
2 or()
3 what if(test toaster one,$level-in-the-devorce-eloped-world) ... aww damnit the hid the rest before i could translate it

Comment: Re:Up next: Apple Sues NASA... (Score 1) 26

by kesuki (#49097443) Attached to: In Space, a Laptop Doubles As a VR Headset

my best guess is that 'ig no run ce' has to do with a Personal Digital Assistant running windows CE. i spelled it out because someone thinks PDA means public display of affection. which is possible but just guessing randomly is going to cause crashes!!! I should Know I Used Windows 95 on a pentium 120! with F00F bug!

Q: How many IBM CPU's does it take to execute a job? A: Four; three to hold it down, and one to rip its head off.