The joke comes within a hair's breadth of explaining itself at the end.
I still disagree with most use of the term "legislating from the bench." More often than not, the term is used to mean "the judge made a decision I don't agree with" and from where I'm standing, it's most frequently thrown around when a judge decided to weigh someone's rights above someone else's wants. Which, at the end of the day, is the entire reason that we have a legal system.
I am writing to complain about the new 3.21 firmware update. I went through a lot of trouble to obtain a 60GB PS3, partially for the backwards compatiblity with PS2 titles, and partially for the Other OS feature. As an electronics hobbiest, I built it from parts out of non-working systems, as this was far cheaper than the alternative (essentially paying someone else to do the same for me) although still more expensive than buying a Slim. Then the unit was stolen in an apartment robbery just as I finished work on it, and I did it all again. I have, in total, spent a little over a thousand dollars on PS3 systems, parts, games, and accessories (and the games and accessories were all purchased new.) One of the main features I intended to make use of was OtherOS.
I almost didn't purchase a PS3 at all because of the XCP debacle some years back, as this demonstrated a certain contempt for customers as well as an astounding level of arrogance, not to mention an overall lack of responsibility on the part of a trusted content provider. In fact, the aforementioned has caused me to look at other brands first in most product categories. The fact that you are releasing an update specifically to remove a feature, and not to address any of the numerous bugs on the system (such as the web browser that seems to freeze the system habitually during use) only serves to reinforce the notion that you still hold a certain level of disdain for your paying customers.
I really wish that I could treat my customers like criminals after they've paid me their hard-earned money and cancel services they've paid for once they're no longer convenient for me. Of course, I'd be out of a job, and most businesses would close down if they acted in such a fashion. I really don't see why you can't update the hypervisor to close the hole, or simply be content with the fact that first-gen consoles are becoming harder and more expensive to obtain compared to their newer kin - as well as the fact that the only exploits that currently exist require advanced skills and delicate modifications to the PS3 hardware. Instead, you're putting your normal users through the risks of a firmware update simply to remove a feature they know nothing about, and you're simultaneously telling a small but highly taltented niche that you no longer want their business, and - most troubling - that they won't be able to continue using their systems as they're accustomed WITHOUT resorting to hardware modification.
I do hope you realize that the hobson's choice you've presented your advanced users with is only going to encourage significantly harder and more in-depth work on finding workarounds for every last ounce of security your system has. The majority of the users you're disenfranchising are the type who have little to no fear of taking a soldering iron to their PS3, who in the past would've been happy to dabble with their interests within the confines of the sandbox you provided. You've just given them a reason to do so. I myself am probably going to break out the soldering iron in the very near future.
The funny thing is, every time attempts are made to squash potentially threatening technology, said technology always gets a lot more attention than it did before. Remember the MP3 format and the Diamond Rio PMP? DeCSS? How about the significant step forward in CD ripping techniques that came about as a result of the efforts you and others made to obliterate Red Book compliance as thoroughly as possible, even to the point of your own XCP debacle? Most people had never heard of the PS3 exploits before Marth 28, but now some individuals with a high level of skill and a lot of time on their hands are very, very motivated to change that. When piracy on the PS3 finally does become a problem, I hope you'll be able to rest well with the knowledge that you initiated the chain reaction yourselves.