I'm old school, I would never fork out money for a toy
Just because you're old doesn't mean you shouldn't still buy toys. Toys are fun.
And it gives ZERO shits about stuff the older generation cares about: battery life, FLOPS, upgrade-ability, compatibility. No, it's "brand name, shiny, glittery, light, small, does it make my buddies jealous"? That's it.
Bullshit. I'm not sure who you're referring to as the older generation, but here's my thoughts as a 35-45 year old male who interacts with these youngsters regularly. What they care about is "Does it do what I need it to do", same as you, you just need it to do different things. They care about battery life, that's why it's always mentioned. FLOPS? who cares unless the system can't perform the functions it needs to perform. Are you requirements higher than theirs? Possibly, so you get what meets your needs, they get what meets theirs. Upgradability isn't an issue for a device who's functionality is well defined and capabilities are met (this refers to ipods, not laptops), I don't feel the need to upgrade my hammer when a new model comes out. I replace my laptop about every 2-3 years, but I'm holding off replacing my current 2+ year old machine because they only thing that would improve moving to the latest model would be a 20% increase in speed, USB 3, an improved graphics card, and a slightly higher res screen. My current machine is fast enough, the graphics card is good enough for what I do, and the USB 3 isn't really an issue. The higher res screen would be kinda nice, but I'm often plugged into an external monitor, so it's not a huge deal. Since purchasing my laptop, I've upgraded the HD (three time, once to a 120SSD, then to a 240, plus added a 1TB platter) and RAM (twice, once to 8GB, then to 16). Compatibility is definitely an issue, but it's not what you think it is. The devices need to work with *their* other devices. Apple does this pretty well. What do I can about being compatible with a device I'm not going to ever need to interact with? Personally, I like open standards to ensure compatibility across *my* devices. Small and light are concerns for people who are highly mobile and carry things around a lot (i.e., students and generally young people, also frequent travelers). Shiny is nice for some, but some people want to avoid that. We were recently spec'ing out some machines for work but rejected a really good deal because we couldn't have the president of the company walking around with a shiny gold colored laptop.