If my child is killed in a car accident because they were doing something stupid, then they didn't learn anything, now did they?
Children (especially teenagers) do stupid things. I certainly did my share. Doing stupid shit is part of growing up, and, unfortunately, sometimes the stupid shit prevents your growing up.
Since teenagers tend to think they have it all figured out, they don't like to listen, it isn't nearly as much fun as goofing off and doing whatever they want.
That's a failure of parenting. Parenting is hard, which is why so many have adopted zero-privacy zero-tolerance attitudes towards their children. At some point you have to trust that your kids have been raised well enough to know right from wrong, to know the colossally stupid from the merely irresponsible. Cracking down on them when they've done nothing to warrant it only undermines your authority as a parent and as an example to be followed. Sure, set rules, and enforce punishments when the rules are broken (and *be consistent*, IMHO that's the key), but don't assume that your kid is going to misbehave without any evidence.
But they must also respect authority, which in this case, is me. I have rules, I expect them to be followed.
No, they really don't *have* to. You have to earn their respect, and that starts slightly after they're walking. If they don't respect you, they won't listen to you, and you can't watch them 24/7.
but they also are minors until they are 18 and they live under my roof, thus there are rules to be followed.
Has any teenager ever listened to that? If they have, has it made any impact on their behavior? It just re-enforces the arbitrary authoritarianism that you appear to espouse. The more you tighten your grip, the more they'll find ways to wiggle out of it.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not opposing strict rules for teenagers to try to help keep them out of trouble. I'm actually pretty strict with my kids (granted, they're not teenagers yet, but learning that there are consequences for breaking rules early on makes your life easier when they start thinking for themselves and questioning your wisdom, which even the most well-behaved teenager does) but I try hard not to be arbitrary. I try to emphasize the reasoning behind the punishment as much as I can ("Do you know why you're in time out? No? Here's why. Do you understand?") If you're afraid that your kid will die in a car accident, do your best to make sure they have the right tools and skills to keep them out of a bad situation. For example, paying for driver's education if it's available, getting the safest car you can afford for them to drive, emphasize driving defensively, etc. If you're afraid of your kid getting pregnant/getting someone else pregnant, do your level best to present the risks and consequences in a non-condescending way, and offer them all the free birth control they want.
In a perfect world, none of this would be necessary and teenagers would always listen to their parents. We're not in one of those, and IMHO we probably shouldn't be.