Please PLEASE have the things say, in a deep electronic voice, "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof." while walking. If they do that, I will buy all of them immediately.
Hello, my name is Rags.
Also, there's a moral issue with conscripting innocent animals into a war role. Apparently there's no such moral issue with using machines to kill people.
Yet dogs are in common use.
Variables don't; constants aren't.