Apologies are absolutely meaningless statements, just like movie lines. And since we're dealing with a country that cares about apologies, it costs you absolutely nothing to give it -- and it savfes you a few billion dollars.
As for being responsible for private citizens, most terrorist attacks are done by private citizens. And since your laws don't count in the foreign country, I guess you should just sit back and do nothing, because the attacks came from outside of your jurisdiction, and they were just private citizens. Except you don't. You attack the entire country instead -- remember?
But there's something so much simpler going on here. Who the hell cares what's right, moral, or correct. You could kill people, you could get people killed, or you could say a few words. You're going to take the death approach because you believe that principles outweigh actual lives. Good for you. My family won't be around to bleed for your principles. I trust your family will stand with you -- or sit -- in the theatre. I can see my local headlines now: "USA gets blown up sitting down."
Let me know when your country grows up just a little bit. It's been a few hundred years, and you haven't progressed one iota.