Link to Original Source
Shamefully adapted From "Alien/Nation" in the April 1991 issue of Omni Magazine.
"They're made out of silicon."
"silicon. They're made out of silicon."
"There's no doubt about it. We picked several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, probed them all the way through. They're completely silicon."
"That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars."
"They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from machines."
"So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact."
"They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. silicon made the machines."
"That's ridiculous. How can silicon make a machine? You're asking me to believe in sentient silicon."
"I'm not asking you, I 'm telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in the sector and they're made out of silicon."
"Maybe they're like the Orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a silicon stage."
"Nope. They're born silicon and they die silicon. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn't take too long. Do you have any idea the life span of silicon?"
"Spare me. Okay, maybe they're only part silicon. You know, like the Weddilei. A silicon head with an electron plasma brain inside."
"Nope. We thought of that, since they do have silicon heads like the Weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They're silicon all the way through."
"Oh, there is a brain all right. It's just that the brain is made out of silicon!"
"So... what does the thinking?"
"You're not understanding, are you? The brain does the thinking. The silicon."
"Thinking silicon! You're asking me to believe in thinking silicon!"
"Yes, thinking silicon! Conscious silicon! Loving silicon. Dreaming silicon. The silicon is the whole deal! Are you getting the picture?"
"Omigod. You're serious then. They're made out of silicon."
"Finally, Yes. They are indeed made out silicon. And they've been trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years."
"So what does the silicon have in mind."
"First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the universe, contact other sentients, swap ideas and information. The usual."
"We're supposed to talk to silicon?"
"That's the idea. That's the message they're sending out by radio. 'Hello. Anyone out there? Anyone home?' That sort of thing."
"They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?"
"Oh, yes. Except they do it with silicon."
"I thought you just told me they used radio."
"They do, but what do you think is on the radio? silicon sounds. You know how when you slap or flap silicon it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their silicon at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their silicon."
"Omigod. Singing silicon. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?"
"Officially or unofficially?"
"Officially, we are required to contact, welcome, and log in any and all sentient races or multibeings in the quadrant, without prejudice, fear, or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing."
"I was hoping you would say that."
"It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with silicon?"
"I agree one hundred percent. What's there to say?" `Hello, silicon. How's it going?' But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?"
"Just one. They can travel to other planets in special silicon containers, but they can't live on them. And being silicon, they only travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact."
"So we just pretend there's no one home in the universe."
"Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet silicon? And the ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you have probed? You're sure they won't remember?"
"They'll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their heads and smoothed out their silicon so that we're just a dream to them."
"A dream to silicon! How strangely appropriate, that we should be silicon's dream."
"And we can marked this sector unoccupied."
"Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any others? Anyone interesting on that side of the galaxy?"
"Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen core cluster intelligence in a class nine star in G445 zone. Was in contact two galactic rotation ago, wants to be friendly again."
"They always come around."
"And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the universe would be if one were all alone."