There's a lot of drivel there that doesn't deserve comment ("very few decent places to eat"? are you old or broke?), but this is ridiculous:
I lived in the PHX area 2003-2007 and there are indeed few decent places to eat. Most restaurants are chain and/or shitty. The thing that surprised me the most was how hard it was to find a decent Mexican restaurant in the PHX area. Forget about Asian cuisine.
It's been rated by several places as the worst city in America to drive in, mainly because it's so chaotic and because there's no consistent driving style (the frequent road-rage shootings don't help).
What's the problem, does the square NS-EW street grid confuse you? You're going to need to back up that claim, because Phoenix is nowhere near the worst cities to drive in:
http://fillmyemptyblogspace.com/2010/12/24/10-worst-american-cities-to-drive-in/ http://www.businessinsider.com/cities-with-most-car-crashes-2010-10?op=1 http://autos.yahoo.com/news/15-dangerous-cities-for-driving.html http://newsfeed.time.com/2012/05/22/going-nowhere-10-worst-u-s-cities-for-traffic/
In fact, if you look closely, you can see Chandler listed by Allstate as one of the safest cities to drive in.
If it is so damn safe to drive, why were my auto insurance rates double what they were in Chicago while I lived in PHX? I routinely found myself at 4-way stops where everyone stared at each other wondering who should go next. There were major crashes on the 10 almost daily. People drive as if they are wandering aimlessly. If I am on the road, I have a destination in mind and want to get there.
You can't bicycle here (one of my favorite outdoor activities) because of the heat most of the year
People bike here year round, Facebook posts from other people doing just that are proof. You choose not to, that doesn't mean other people don't do it also. There are people enjoying the Phoenix Mountain Preserve, Dreamy Draw, and South Mountain year round.
Yes, crazy people bike there year round. I was amazed by how many people I saw out jogging at 2pm in 105 degree heat. Pure insanity. Not only the heat, but it is so dusty and dry, outside exercise is pure torture most of the time. Not to mention the threat of valley fever. The other thing that got me is that even though it is a desert, people use insane amounts of water. Every new subdivision has a big water feature out front. Most people opt for a big green lawn (that has to be watered daily). The drinking water is absolutely terrible unless you get an RO system or get bottled water. Public transportation is a joke, mainly because the population density is not high enough to merit the infrastructure. They build roads like crazy, though. The other factor is the people. This is purely subjective, but the PHX area has a lot of evangelicals and conservative religious types. And don't forget the plain old (and I mean old) conservatives. Maybe that's your cup of tea.