Ask Slashdot was useful once, but in the last few years it's just become an opportunity to abuse the questioner. Okay, sometimes the questions are really dumb, but how about we try to assume good faith and not expect them to write an essay covering every possible objection first? You know, kinda like Stack Exchange or something.
In fact, screw it, Slashdot is dying. I recommend asking the same question on Stack Exchange, you will get more helpful answers.
He is trying to get her to do something she (apparently) doesn't want to do - "she is just not very passionate about coding or IT in general", but because that "something" aligns with your ideological and political interests you whine about abuse. What *is* borderline abusive is the fact that he is probably going to get her to do something she doesn't appear to have an interest in doing.
If you want your messages to be logically consistent with themselves you should rather be pointing out that artificially limiting her choices is sexist. You won't though. Your ideology is more important to you than fairness to women.