You're missing the point entirely. I'd say intentionally.
The sort of adolescent behavior you're defending not only contributes nothing, but is actively harmful to any project.
Citation needed. People being dicks have managed teams that produce the most well-known products on the planet, continuing over decades - see Linus, RMS and Jobs. Asshole-ish behaviour gets rewarded by the masses *because* it produces what people want.
This is very simple. By allowing or encouraging that behavior, you're actively working against the best interests of the project.
Only if the behaviour is harmful to the project. There is no evidence that this is the case.
All other issues aside, you can not justify that behavior on any rational or technical grounds. It's simply not possible.
You're telling me to build something. Well, I have. So have many other people. We've done it without waving our dicks around and grunting.
Well, so have I. I've actively contributed to the Linux kernel too. And other stuff (opensource) too. So what?
We've done it without alienating potential contributors or fellow coworkers. We've done it without abusive language, bullying, or intimidation.
Those things are not only unnecessary, they're harmful to the project.
By harmful I mean directly harmful.
Agitated developers don't work as efficiently. Time spent chest-thumping and dick-measuring is time not spent working toward the project's goals. It also happens to chase out developers who don't want to waste their time dealing with petulant children when they could be contributing something.
I build things. You waste time with petty insults. Go Build Something and quit all this whining and complaining. It's not productive.
You are actively avoiding the point that open-source is the ultimate meritocracy - anyone who whines that they do not feel welcome in project $FOO is free to start a project $BAR.
It only takes a single developer to start an open-source project that is independent of existing projects. If none/few are started by your favoured $CLASS of people you cannot blame the existing projects for not being welcoming to your $CLASS of people.
It only takes one person to start a project. You are asking "Why aren't more women joining projects?", we are asking "Why aren't more women starting projects?". In the latter question there is no FUD around "toxic environments", "brogrammer culture", etc - yet the women aren't there in numbers anyway.