Interesting idea about how the victims are to blame. I spose it's pragmatic advice. Still kind of comes off as douchey. I disagree. I think people, bullies especially, but even dickhead assholes like yourself need to learn manners. Shoving someone and calling someone a name is unacceptable in the real world. That's assault. And yet that type of shit is perfectly acceptable in elementary school. Why is that?
I didn't say the victims are to blame. What I did say is that we should consider alternatives such as "hardening" the victims against these attacks.
the analogy I will use is in public networks. Nobody claims that the guys attacking computer systems remotely are good guys, or that they should be tolerated, but not one sane security professional would fail to recommend hardening the victims against the attacks.
What I am saying is that we may or may not be able to change human behavior as far as bullying is concerned, but why not also try to help improve the social functioning of the victims as well.
I was one of those that got bullied pretty harshly in school. Beat up more than once, stuffed in small containers, had my stuff continually stolen and destroyed. Finally, one day in high school, I sat down and began an exercise in figuring out why I was bullied, and how I could make it stop. Maybe I'm smarter than most, but I finally figured out that it was largely my own behavior that attracted the bullies, and that the things within my own control could be altered to reduce and even prevent the bullying. A few examples: Until that point, I did not pay much attention to my personal appearance or hygiene. I don't think I smelled funny, but who knows, so I undertook a program to clean myself up and improve my wardrobe. In retrospect, I can say I was also very much of an attention whore. I would butt into just about any conversation just to hear myself talk, and so I undertook to exercise self control, and keep my mouth shut for the most part. I would help, when help was asked for, but I would not go out of my way to butt in.
One of the key pivoting points, was deliberately picking a fight with a bully. Once I had decided it needed to be done, I prepared myself for the fight. The key was: I expected to loose, but I didn't have to win the fight to win the war, all I had to do was walk away. I waited until I was being picked on again, and when the tormentor tried to walk away, I started shouting anything and everything I could to insult the guy. I finally hit a chord, and the guy turned around and belted me (bloodied me pretty good too). I got a few hits in, but by no account did I win. My victory came in that I walked away from the fight (we had to be broken up, as I knew we would eventually be). All I had to do was be seen fighting, and not to cave in. After that, I was not tormented anymore. I wasn't accepted into the group by any means, but at least I was left alone.
At the end of the day, I had to work pretty hard to overcome the bullying, because I didn't start to transform myself until very late in high school, but by the time I reached college, I was ready to begin with a complete understanding, and can say I was fairly popular in college, even with the same types of people who used to beat me up. If someone had intervened with me at a younger age and offered to help me get the bullies to leave me alone, I would have jumped at the opportunity. As an adult with the benefit of hindsight, I now understand that bullies are attracted to attacking th weak. Its part of how children establish the pecking order. Disrupting that goes against millions of years of evolution, and I expect you will not be able to remove it from our psyche without destroying all ambition (and possibly annihilating the human race. But those that are bullied have a powerful motivation to make it stop, and lack only a complete enough world view to know how, so lets help them.