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Comment: Re:Silly season much (Score 1) 96

by Safety Cap (#47444365) Attached to: Chinese Couple Sells Children To Support Online Game Addiction

Who says you can't have a second child after you sold the first one?

Peasant Han: "Honest officer! Our child was sold into slavery over a year ago!"

Officer Zau kicks over the wood stove, lifts open a patch of the tile floor and shines his light into the darkness below. A dozen eyes shine back.

Officer Zau (screaming): Zui cha. Chaqu. Yongyuan!

Officer Zau unholsters her Type 15 pistol, takes aim at Han and puts her finger on the trigger.

(fade to black)

Comment: A scary idea, if true (Score 1) 7

by Safety Cap (#47443969) Attached to: Trying to remember a conspiracy theory

I recall an old Science Fiction story along the same lines, back in the early 80s.

The protagonist was a young man in a third-world middle-eastern shitehole. He was tired of war, of losing friends and families, when he had a revelation: the "Blue Hats" (UN) were neutral, so if he joined their "army" he'd be relatively safe and wouldn't have to fight any more.

So, he obtains a discarded steel pot and paints it blue. Reveling in his newfound "immunity," he convinces his friends and neighbors to do the same. Even the other side starts doing it until everyone is a Blue Hat -- and peace breaks out for the first time in living memory.

I forget how it ended, but the gist was that the First-World was using the Third-World as a "live culture" of warfare, to keep the former's own troops trained and budgets justified. The old sides were eventually convinced to go back to fighting one another.

Comment: Re:Haven't done T-SQL in years (Score 1) 10

by Marxist Hacker 42 (#47437797) Attached to: Fun with SQL Server 2012

I didn't explain the behavior adequately.

SELECT * FROM dbo.GetReferencedModelPointsByJobID(@JobID)

Returns someplace between 2-56 rows, depending on JobID

The second query does NOT error out, but is not returning a comma delimited string of all rows, but instead, in some cases, is returning only ONE row.

Since I'm using this to build a temp table, it doesn't error out until I attempt to fill columns in the temp table that do not exist.

User Journal

Journal: Fun with SQL Server 2012 10

Journal by Marxist Hacker 42

I have a Table Valued Function that returns a simple parameterized view. I want to turn that view into a string.

Can anybody tell me why the first query works and the second one doesn't?

DECLARE @JobID INT
DECLARE @strOut VARCHAR(MAX)

SET @JobID=2861

Comment: Re:Automated troubleshooting? (Score 1) 253

by HBI (#47432675) Attached to: Ask Slashdot: Unattended Maintenance Windows?

That is not true. If my job is important and my systems are important, i'm on site to make sure that change is successful.

When I was with IBM, our policy was to open up a conference call and have all the requisite support staff on the call until the change window closed. You paid through the nose for that kind of support, but our downtime was minimal and some customers needed that.

When I am working in theater on critical systems in wartime, I don't sit in my fucking hooch and use automated tools. My ass is in front of the boxes in question to respond instantly. The alternative is broken tactical systems meaning bad information being used to make decisions meaning dead people.

Your slack attitude doesn't cut it in the places I work.

Comment: Automated troubleshooting? (Score 5, Insightful) 253

by HBI (#47432047) Attached to: Ask Slashdot: Unattended Maintenance Windows?

Maintenance windows are at off-hours to accomodate real work happening. If every action was painless and produced the desired result, you could do it over lunch or something like that. But that's not the real world.

This begs the question of how the hell are you going to fix unexpected problems in an automated fashion? The answer is, you aren't. Therefore, you have to be up at 2am.

Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.

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