Probably one of the smarter things the government has done.
$2000 for bike
$300 for clothes, shoes
$200 for maintenance (if you are able to do it on your own this would come down)
5 year total cost = $3300
$200 for used golf clubs just to go with your scenario
$750 for 15 rounds of golf at $50
$240 for 30 set of balls at a driving range $8
5 Year total cost : $5150
Keep in mind that with bicycling I can ride 3+ times a week. I would also argue that cycling is a better workout as well. Your crazy contrived situation is absurd. I am in a group with a number of people and all their bikes range from $600 to maybe $2000. Some of the bikes are well over 15 years old and none of us really care. The only reason you need to spend that much is if you are a) a professional or b) need to keep up with the Joneses.
With toner I bought an all in one networked with a duplexer (black and white) for $150 and the starter cartridge will probably end up lasting us years therefore in a little over two years the printer will pay for itself. I can get refilled cartridges for about $30 that supposedly last 3K pages. Even if I buy the OEM cartridges that last 3K pages I will probably never have to buy a cartridge again at our current rate of printing before the printer breaks.