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Comment Re:We dont deal with it (Score 3, Funny) 304 304

Declare all but government mandated holidays to be crunch time. Encourage all salaried employees to work those holidays and any other time they are not unconscious in microsleep shutdown with false intimation of bonus perqs tied to an impossible to achieve success bar. Include necessarily vague (to keep legal) statements at team and all-hands meetings acknowledging that those that don't live up to the highest work ethic standards of their peers will be not be moved onto teams that are "pushing the envelope of industry technology to create products for the coming decade!" and will instead support EOL products (where head count will be reduced by 95% in six months, or less). Make sure that the health plan has drug and alcohol treatment options so engineers will be encouraged to find new designer amphetamines to help meet deadlines, then tie enrollment in those treatment programs to HR so no one would actually ask for rehab time off. Oh and most importantly buy pizza at least once a week, so the employees feel that management cares about them.

Comment Re:No Coffee = No Code (Score 1) 620 620

A cow is a machine that converts grass to milk. A programmer is a machine that converts coffee to code.

So I think what you're saying is that on occasion, we should eat programmers...?

This just keeps getting worse and worse. :(

Old programmers that can no longer produce enough code are ground up and fed to the young programmers. Or perhaps blended with an instant coffee derivative to make a nice slurry to be drank.

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