I'm not the OP, but thought I'd correct a few misconceptions you seem to have.
It is the distro with the best packaging system.
While this is mostly a subjective matter, Debian's apt/dpkg is pretty archaic. .debs are nothing but glorified tarballs which get unpacked when installing, (therefore have to be created with fakeroot(1)) to name a random point at which it is inferior to a semi-decent system like Portage you can't use it to install packages from source (unless you use 10 debianisms to build a package beforehands). Searching for something with apt-cache is a joke.
You say that like tarballs are a bad idea. It worked well for Slackware. ;-)
Anyway, more to the point, debs are much more than glorified tarballs. That one deb package file contains control information, which specify version information, dependencies, basic package information, installed size, and much more. It also contains scripts to preinstall, postinstall, preremove, and postremove the package. It really is a one-stop shop when it comes to installing programs under Linux. Other than dependant packages, of course.
You can use apt to install packages from source, but the source code must come from the Debian repository. It needs to contain all the info above, and more. A source install is relatively simple to do. Basic process is "apt-get source package; cd package; debuild -us -uc; dpkg -i ../package.deb". So, that's three "debianisms" to download, build, and then install the package. Not as convenient as Portage, but apt/dpkg was not designed to be a source distribution. It probably could work as one, though. Should be simple enough to create a script which does everything automatically for you. If you want a source distro, then Gentoo is definitely the way to go.
Unsure what you find so funny about apt-cache. I use it regularly to search for packages. It works well for me.
It is the distro with the best variety of packages.
Name one relevant package which isn't available on any relevantt distro.
Unsure what you mean by "relevant package" or "relevant distro". I just did a search for a package called "clipit", on packages.gentoo.org. It's a program I like to use to copy between X clipboards, and store a clipboard history. Gentoo doesn't seem to have it. Debian does.
It is the distro with the best package maintainers.
No. Last time i had the pleasure, the maintainer in question didn't reply for 4 months, finally apologizing for not replying and (redundantly) suggesting i follow up with a patch (which i did 3 months ago, at that time). Guess I'll have to wait another couple months until it finally get applied.
One anecdote does not a conclusion make. I've had some very good experiences when dealing with Debian maintainers. In any case, this is subjective. I'm sure other distributions have some great and enthusiastic maintainers, but Debian ranks highly in my experience.
It is the distro with the best reliability.
Stupid and wrong piece of uneducated gibberish. What exactly is Debian's role in Linux' or GNU's reliability? How is Debian more reliable than, say, Gentoo? Fanboyism at its finest.
Not quite. Debian Stable achieves its high reliability by subjecting packages to a good testing period. It suffers jokes from the Linux community for being out of date, but that's what you have to do to achieve that level of reliability. Package maintainers even backport security patches to older package versions, to make sure that they don't install newer package versions on a Stable system.
Debian Testing/Unstable/Experimental aren't quite so rock solid, but that's where the latest stuff goes, and there are package updates on a daily basis. I happily use Testing on my laptop, and it is still very reliable, but Stable _ensures_ that the whole system works exactly as you expect, even avoiding new features and possible regressions.
That's about it. The rest of what you said was generally valid. I agree that the OP was acting somewhat as a Debian fanboy. And that's fine, really. Let people be excited by the distro that they use! If you do absolutely have to object, though, formulate better arguments, and try to curb the vitriol.