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Journal: sacrilegious bumper stickers seen today 11

Journal by Bill Dog

From my afternoon drive home today:

  • Not clever or funny:

    Dog is my co-pilot

  • Clever and funny:

    JESUS IS COMING!
    Look Busy!

p.s. About another bumper sticker I saw recently, being something like:

Don't tailgate me or I'll flick a booger on your windshield

Funny, sure, except it was on a PT Cruiser that was painted with images of food. I.e. it was a delivery vehicle for a food preparation service! Ew!

What will these marketing geniuses think of next? Coming to a pizza box near you:

Driver carries less than $20 in change.
Driver picks his nose.
Enjoy your pizza!

(Fine print: Not responsible for unordered, extra toppings.)

User Journal

Journal: Chronicle: Another day, another cup

Journal by Chacham

Well, my dollar store water bottle had a black dot in it, in spite of all my efforts to drain it and leave some air flow every day. In the garbage that went; i ain't playin' with that sort of stuff.

So, it was down to the cafeteria to get a styrofoam cup, which lasts a good few days before coming up with specks. At 15 cents for the cup, lid, and straw, it's not bad. I'm guessing i am allowed to take ice as well, but i'd feel silly asking the cashiers, who may not even know official policy, and worried if they act like they do. Stealing is stealing no matter what the item is. Regardless, i splurged and got Coke Zero, which clearly means i can take ice. Not much though. I want to keep it cold but not water down my drink.

At the register i saw a smallish bowl, half-full with pennies. I was thinking it was one of those win-win, give-a-penny-take-a-penny dishes, but at half full, looked a bit unused. So, i wondered aloud at her, "Pennies...does anyone use those?" She laughed. I was perplexed. Walking away, i felt silly.

User Journal

Journal: I take that back, I guess we did gain something from Occupy 2

Journal by damn_registrars
Back in 2011, I asked How Long Until OWS Gives Up With Nothing?

I figured they would eventually get pushed aside and things would go back to business as usual. Indeed, that has mostly happened - wall street still runs the show and tells Washington what to do while the rest of us get screwed.

However, it appears that not only did something come from the Occupy movement, but it is a tangible product that you can buy.
User Journal

Journal: Verbiage: Some puns (2)

Journal by Chacham

As if Some puns wasn't bad enough, i shall here continue my plagiarism, brevity, and literary destruction:

Mick Jagger's dog asked his friend, Patricia Whack, for a loan, offering a small item as collateral. Puzzled, she asked her husband what it was. "It's a knick knack, Patty Whack. Give the dog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar followed by Batman.

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He's 0K now.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and so on. After the seventh order, the bartender pours two beers and says, "You fellas ought to know your limits."

Pavlov was sitting at a bar, when the phone rang. Suddenly he gasped, "I forgot to feed the dogs!"

Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "Do all of you want drinks?" The first logician says, "I don't know." The second logician says, "I don't know." The third logician says, "Yes."

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a auto worker? Ask them to pronounce "unionized."

What's the difference between an etymologist and an entomologist? The etymologist knows the difference.

At a hotel, the bellhop asked a photon if he had any luggage. "Nope." he answered, "I'm traveling light."

He's more classless than a Marxist utopia.
She's so mean she has no standard deviation.

That taxidermist really knows his stuff.

A grizzly without shoes is bear foot.

A lighthouse, rose trellis, windstorm, dune, and Halloween costume got together for a beacon, lattice, and tornado sand witch.

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

User Journal

Journal: The Kevlar Kandidate Prepares to Surprise Nobody 10

Journal by damn_registrars
If you can make it through his 45 seconds without falling asleep you might hear him say:

âoeI gotta tell you, ladies and gentlemen, part of the reason why Iâ(TM)m even thinking about what Iâ(TM)m thinking about â" we havenâ(TM)t announced anything yet, wonâ(TM)t until after the end of June when our state budget is done â" I have yet to see anyone in the field or in the emerging field whoâ(TM)s done both.â

I will say though, that if somehow the "democrats" manage to nominate Bernie Sanders, it would be fantastic to watch the two square off. Unfortunately Bernie can't raise enough money to be taken seriously by those who have the power to select a candidate - and will eventually be assassinated by the media (in the same was they offed Howard Dean) - which will result in a subpar nominee being on the ballot.

On the plus side, the Kevlar Kandidate keeps packing his offices with people who worked for the Teflon Candidate. This suggests he has a low probability of actual success. Unfortunately, Wisconsin will still be stuck with him after that failure occurs.

User Journal

Journal: She's so false, even her ASCII 32 characters are lies 12

Journal by smitty_one_each
Slashdot's greatest knave should spring into action to defend Her Majesty against the latest tidbit:

New documents obtained by Judicial Watch and made public Monday show that then-Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and other senior officials under President Obama were given intelligence within hours of the Sept. 11, 2012, Benghazi attack describing how it had been planned at least 10 days in advance "to kill as many Americans as possible."

Instapundit notes: "THEN SHE STOOD NEXT TO THE COFFINS OF THE DEAD AND LIED" also "they locked up a filmmaker for a year, just to support their cover story. Nice people."

I realize it's more of a difference of degree than kind between her and any other megalomaniac running. However, I think that after eight years of electro shock therapy from #OccupyResoluteDesk, Her Majesty has the potential to turn an economic hangover into a full-on coma.

User Journal

Journal: Verbiage: Beginning to learn Java

Journal by Chacham

I'm reading Learning Java, which i recently purchased, and was typing in the examples from the book. As the book is a monster to hold, i ended up upgrading the ebook for $4.95. Dual screens with one for the PDF and the other for the IDE make it oh so much easier to type in. I also have been reading it on the macbook while in the tub. Nothing like cozying up with a language manual, eh? :)

It's hard enough to learn Java itself. I remember it from the 90s when it was slow, clunky, crashed browsers, and promised way too much. But, it's matured, and for better or worse, it's out there. So, i'm now learning it despite my own prejudice, and now an then mentally mumble, "oh, how stupid."

The stupidities seem to have more to do with preference, and by no means is it language specific. For example, calling an offset an index, leading to the 0/1 bugs that foil so many, camelCasing, and repeating context inside the name. I'm likely to do my own thing for my own code, to keep it enjoyable. I'm even tempted to declare all arrays with one extra element and just starting from 1. Though, some array methods start from 0 regardless, so, i may not be able to hold onto that fantasy for very long.

This is also my first language where i'm learning proper inheritance. One rule that i wondered about is, if class B is a subtype of class A, a variable of class A can refer to an instance of class B, but not vice-versa. I thought that was backwards because B is A plus other stuff. The box isn't bug enough! If anything, i thought, it should be exactly the opposite. A variable of type B should be able to point to an instance of type A, because it fits, though there may be some defaults required.

But now, i finally got to an explanation from the book, albeit about casting, "Casts in Java affect only the treatment of references; they never change the form of the actual object. This is an important rule to keep in mind. You never change the object pointed to by a reference by casting it; you change only the compiler's (or runtime system's) notion of it." Aha! The reason a variable of type A can hold an instance of type B is that from a usage standpoint, B has everything A has, so who cares about the rest. Conversely, a variable of type B cannot hold an instance of type A because it does not have everything required. To use MBTI terminology, Java is for Ps, i am a J. (I just wish they keep away from databases, which is clearly J territory.) I almost feel enlightened. And from Java, no less.

Now to continue reading. I've been successful int trying to do one chapter a(n office) day. Currently in chapter 6.

User Journal

Journal: Dice Holdings Inc is now "DHI" 11

Journal by damn_registrars
I'm surprised this wasn't on the front page. I noticed today in the bottom right corner

Slashdot is a DHI service.

And was left to wonder if the Slashdot parent company was bought out. Apparently they just changed their name for better branding. I'm sure this can only lead to good things for this site, right?

User Journal

Journal: A suggestion to mobile browser makers and the W3C 4

Journal by mcgrew

There are an awful lot of pages on my web site, and I've been busy making them all "mobile-friendly". Most of them are little or no problem making them look good on all platforms, but there are three that are especially problematic.

I jumped this hurdle (well, sort of stumbled past it) by making two of each of the pages with a link to the mobile page from the index.

Ideally, I could just check to see if it was a phone or not and redirect phones to the mobile page, but there's no way to make this 100% successful*. Each brand of phone has a different user agent, there are a lot of installable phone browsers. On top of that, is it an Android phone or an Android tablet? With the minimum typeface size and viewport set, those pages are fine on the PC version but the phone version looks like crap.

Apple should have thought of this when they made the first iPhone, and Google should have thought of this when developing Android. The answer is simple, but it can only be implimented by browser makers and perhaps the W3C.

From the beginning of the World Wide Web, browsers looked for index.html, the default front page in any directory. This worked fine before smart phones, but no longer.

Phone browsers should look first for mobile.html, and if it exists display that, and display index.html if it isn't there. Tablets and computers would behave as they always have.

It doesn't have to be mobile.html, it could be any name as long as everyone agreed that it was the standard, like they did with index.html.

Maintaining a web site would be much easier if they did this. What do you guys think?

* A reader tipped me to the Apache Mobile Filter. It looks promising, especially since my host uses Apache. I'm looking into it.

User Journal

Journal: Pedigree 12

Journal by smitty_one_each

The key word is pedigree: the array of background traits, including the cultural, social, and educational capital passed from one generation to the next, which [Elite Professional Services firm] candidates bring to the competition for elite jobs. But it's a closed competition. One must get through the gates first. A candidate's pedigree determines whether his or her application to an EPS firm is legitimately considered in the competition, or tossed in a slush pile of candidates who have no realistic chance to even compete for such jobs.

Now, wait: the fruit of Progress is an impenetrable thicket of legislation/regulation produced by the clerisy. Of course it's rigged. You can't stab capitalism in the heart and then bemoan the rise of the nomenklatura. Or maybe the entire article is just a refined Progressive troll.

User Journal

Journal: Can Republicans keep clowns off the debate stage? 13

Journal by damn_registrars
Bloomberg View says it is unlikely.

Still traumatized by the 2012 "dog-and-pony show," which he called an "embarrassment and ridiculous," Priebus has decreed that this time the circus can have only nine rings, I mean debates, compared with about two dozen in the 2012 cycle. Only media outlets Priebus can stomach will get the chance to broadcast one of them. The left-leaning MSNBC will be excluded and its parent, NBC, will have to share its one debate with Telemundo. Fox and CNBC have been granted debates along with CNN after it dropped plans for a Hillary docudrama.

...

Limiting the number of debates may or may not help. What Priebus really needs to do is limit the number of debaters. He publicly atoned for not doing it last time but so far he hasn't come up with a way to prevent another melee. He'll have to act fast to find a formula before the first debate in August in Ohio, sponsored by Fox.

...

Priebus saw the damage last time as the eventual winner, Mitt Romney, repeatedly found himself on stage with people who weren't going to win anything but frequent flyer miles but could still goad him into musing about "self-deportation." If Priebus doesn't come up with something, the eventual winner this time will be sharing a stage with Carson comparing the U.S. under President Barack Obama to Nazi Germany or the Internal Revenue Service to the Gestapo. But Carson is the only black candidate, and that matters to a party that recognizes it has a likability deficit with minorities.

Similarly, eliminating Fiorina would reignite the War on Women meme. Fiorina isn't as out there as Carson, but she has no hope of making a dent, given her credentials as a losing Senate candidate, who had previously been ousted as chief executive of Hewlett-Packard for a questionable merger and huge layoffs, a record that is likely to come up a lot.

And how can he nudge evangelical favorite Huckabee to the side? He wasn't a clown in 2008 but he, his party and his Fox audience have moved to the right since then. In his campaign manifesto, "God, Guns, Grits and Gravy," and on the stump, the former governor dishes out opprobrium to a wasteland of miscreants. He assails the mainstream media, Jay-Z, the "ick factor" in gay relationships and gay adoption (because "children are not puppies"). And he has become a survivalist hawking quack medicine, even though, like the other former governor from Hope, he became rich after leaving office.

User Journal

Journal: Texas 2, ISIS 0 4

Journal by RailGunner
Texas 2, ISIS 0

Nice shooting, Officer.

And considering (statistically) people with CHL's are even better shots than police, and that there's over 2 million CHL holders in Texas....

The old saying is true: Don't Mess With Texas
User Journal

Journal: Gun Fail of the week

Journal by damn_registrars
Safe gun storage does not include leaving your loaded and unlocked weapon rolled up in the sheets of the bed where your two year old is playing .

The 2-year-old boy who used a family gun to accidentally shoot himself in the face on Thursday night was in stable but critical condition on Friday morning, according to Peoria police.

Detectives said the gun belongs to the boy's father, who was not home at the time. Preliminary investigation indicated that the gun was rolled up in sheets on the master bedroom bed.

And, as usual:

no criminal charges are pending at this time, police said.

User Journal

Journal: How to make "mobile-friendly" web pages 3

Journal by mcgrew

I finally got the full texts of Nobots and Mars, Ho! to display well on a phone. My thanks to Google for showing me how, even if the way they present the information is more like trial and error, but it's actually easy once you jump through all their hoops. I'll make it easy.

First, you need to make sure it will fit on a phone's screen. I've been preaching for years that it's stupid to use absolute values, except with images; if you don't tell the browser the image size and you are using style sheets, your visitors will be playing that annoying "click the link before it moves again" game.

Some of you folks who studied this in college should demand your tuition be refunded, because they obviously didn't teach this.

Giving tables, divs, and such absolute values almost assures that some of your visitors will have that incredibly annoying and unprofessional horizontal scroll (*cough* slashdot *cough*).

None of the elements (images, divs, etc) can be more than 320 pixels wide, and you need to tell the browser to make it fit on a screen. To do this, add this meta tag to your page's head:

<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0">

Next, you need to make sure the text is large enough to read without double tapping. The <p> tag does this:

<p {min-height: 16px}>

This needs to be placed after the <body> tag and before anything having to do with text.

To test it, just pull the page up on your phone. If it scrolls sideways, you need to work on it.

If you're worried about your Google pagerank, Google has a "mobile friendly test" here. If you flunk, well, when Google says "jump"...

My main index page fails their test. To make it pass the test I would have to ruin the desktop/tablet design. As it is now, the text is readably large on a phone but it has a sideways scroll, which is tiny if you hold the phone sideways, and I added a link at the very start of the page to a version that will pass Google's test, looks fine on a phone, not bad on a tablet but looks like excrement on a computer. The main index works fine on a tablet, since I've made it as "mobile-friendly" as possible.

I'd have it redirect if it saw Android or iOS, but it's been fifteen years since I've done that and I've forgotten how.

Don't panic.

Working...