So, for a while now I have been hounded by these debt collection people. They think I owe them money, I think I do not. How to resolve this? Well, I say, how about a court of law, where an impartial judge can decide... seems reasonable, no? Well, they are reluctant. And, believe me, I understand them. I mean, what if they lose their ungrounded claim? They'd be responsible for all kinds of court and legal fees, and they don't want that. So I'm going to do my best to help them out.
I'm going to organize a bake sale for them to raise money for their Legal Offense Fund, so they can feel comfortable suing me properly. I'm hoping that we can raise them a lot of money because I'm going to be representing myself... I mean, look what they are up against! I feel like they are going to need some of the best lawyers in the country to go toe to toe with a guy just crazy enough to raise money for them to file suit, and those kind of people don't come cheaply.
At this point, they have stopped taking my calls and, I'm sure, are a little worried about the tight squeeze they find themselves in. I think they need as much help as they can get. I'm really hoping to get this bake sale off the ground soon, and would love it if the Slashdot community would be willing to pitch in and provide bakers, arrange van lines to shuttle people in from around the nation, maybe a website designer or two to build some software to organize this whole thing. I'm really excited about what fun this might be to do, and also I'm hoping that people can see my efforts and maybe get inspired to do similar things to help out the major corporations that are so reluctant to sue them properly too.
If this sounds like fun, please drop an email to firstname.lastname@example.org and let me know what you think you'd like to do. I'm not going to hand away these email addresses to spammers or anything like that and I want to assure you that I am super committed to making this thing happen in the very near future. I'm so excited about what we'll be able to do together when we put our minds to it. I hope to hear from you soon!"