Would probably be more amusing if not so close to the bone.
- CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.
- CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer.
- Bull Market -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
- Bear Market -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
- Value investment -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
- P/E Ration -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
- Broker -- What my broker has made me.
- Standard&Poor -- Your life in a nutshell.
- Stock Analyst -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
- Stock Split -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
- Financial Planner -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
- Market Correction -- The day after you buy stocks.
- Cash Flow-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
- Yahoo! -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
- Windows -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
- Institutional Investor -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
- Profit -- An archaic word no longer in use.
(From some forwarded email currently making the rounds.)