The other white meat.
Mr. Ukab, there are two gentlemen here to see you. They say their names are Faegre and Benson, on behalf of the National Pork Board. And just so you know, they have a large, thick envelope with your name on it. It looked for a moment, however, like the address for the ThinkGeek offices had been scratched out and yours hurriedly added.
Can I use my iTunes gift card to pay the tax?
I have done so for more than 25 years with no hallucinations (as far as I can tell) or baseless paranoia.
And remember, kids-it isn't "baseless paranoia" if they actually *ARE* out to get you....