So no one old has ever been murdered shortly before they'd have died anyway?
You're comparing rape with a killing someone on their death bed. Sure, people have been killed right before they would have died, but that does not make rape worse than murder. By that logic you can say that bullying and teasing is as bad as murder, because there are people that would rather die than be bullied.
If I was lying on my deathbed in great agony and a man came in and gave me the choice of rape/murder, I'd pick murder. So yes, it's possible to think up scenarios where murder is the lesser evil.
But it's contrived. People generally aren't raped on the deathbed. Instead it's, say, between a man raping or killing your teenage daughter. In the former she "may" kill herself, while in the latter she "can't" get her life back in order because she's dead. I.e. rape is the lesser evil.
Those problems are going to persist - you can't just make them go away with kind words, you can't simply pretend that everyone will be able to live a normal life after such an event - that just builds a society where we don't talk about it and blame the victim if they're acting a bit weird for a day.
I think you're misunderstanding me. I'm not saying that one should blame the victim of rape or not talk about it. Saying murder is worse than rape is not victim blaming.
Your trivialisation of the impacts on victims belong in the past, please leave them there.
Rape isn't trivial, but implying that people should just as well be dead because they were raped pisses me off. People have killed themselves over such attitudes.