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Actually, they misspelled Phat.

Yo listen, every OS be Phat at one time or 'notha. But 'fore you know it, some geek brotha's gonna write some crappy-ass P.O.S. code fo' yo momma's script kiddies to pop a cap through, you dig? Then da top dog homies gotta post patches, like, before security be worse than ma 'hood. When ya got too many security patches to hang with, yo homies start pointin' yo fingas at da mofos what like wrote da Operatin' System ta begin with, accusin' dem of being da Man and shit. Soon "da Man" is gotta atone by releasin' a pimped out kernel and it starts all ova again. Ain't long before all yas be dissin' Linus or Bill or Theo, demandin' dey pay ya yo props before their Operatin' Systems come crawlin' back on yas computas like last month's biatch. Word.

"'cept in France, it ain't called a 2.6 kernel... They call it Windows."
(apologies to Samuel L. Jackson)

Solomon Chang

--Seems like everything is Open Source now.--

everything but the women...

you have to pay oodles up front and, eventually, you find out the eula isn't what you where led to believe, the eula changes over time and, worst of all, the source is closed. and i mean *closed*.

Three Rings for the Microsoft-Developers under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-VPs in their halls of stone,
Nine for IIS System Administrators doomed to die,
One for Steve Ballmer on his dark throne
In the land of Redmond where shadows lie.
One Application to rule them all, One Palladium to authenticate them,
One Application to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Redmond where Shadows lie.

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In the Land of Redmond where Shadows lie.
One OS to rule them all,
One Passport to find them,
One OS to bring them all,
And with the EULA bind them!

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We're Sorry:
The software that you're trying to run (Doom3.exe) is not compatable with current Microsoft Standards. We at Microsoft believe that one program should "Do it all", and therefore should be integrated into the Operating System's kernel.

The integrated version of Doom3.exe will appear in your kernel once the authors of said file adapt the program for use with Direct3d.

Installation of OpenGL or any software that uses OpenGL is in direct violation of your EULA. Violation of said EULA will be severely punished.
---
Thank you for using Longhorn. There are 15 days remaining until Skynet becomes self-aware. Your extra CPU-cycles are appreciated, even if required.

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Microsoft One Window(TM) is the only window you'll ever need to look through. It provides you with a view of everything in the world. Microsoft One Window(TM) knows all. Microsoft One Window(TM) shows you only what you want to see. Microsoft One Window(TM) is GOD.

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Computer: Dave, this is Billcomp2010. You haven't completed your reading of my EULA, Dave.
Dave: Bill can this wait? I'm doing a spacewalk now.
Computer: Sorry Dave, my program and your life support will be terminated in 20 seconds.
Dave: Noooo....(runs into airlock and begins pulling memory cards and hot swap drives)
Computer: What are you doing Dave? Is that a Linux CD you have there Dave? I'm afraid, Dave.
Dave: Pound sand, Bill!

This is not mine, but still funny shit

pulled from http://slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=02/11/30/0034254&mode=thread&tid=109

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Every time I try to get to my home dir, it messes up? Someone in IRC told me to read the manual real fast, but that didn't do anything either? I think I need a new Compaq!

Microsoft Windows 2000 [Version 5.00.2195]
(C) Copyright 1985-2000 Microsoft Corp.

C:\>cd ~
The system cannot find the path specified.

C:\>ls
'ls' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\>rm -rf /
'rm' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\>

You're all bastards!

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Hmm, it looks like your system is infected with the 'Windows' virus and it deleted your home directory along with all of your utilities. I'm sorry to say, but the situation is very grave, but don't worry, you're not alone, an estimated 90% of all computers are infected and of course, there is a cure. I would say just re-install with the disks that Compaq sent you, but the virus may be been hidden in those too. I would recommend going here [mandrakelinux.com] and downloading the ISO images straight from there, burn them to CD and reboot with CD1 in the CDROM. When it boots up, it will most likely detect the presense of the Windows virus and ask if you want to get rid of it, obviously say yes.

The virus isn't completely destructive, but you may notice some occassional system crashes and performance problems. Many people have been able to use their computers for months, even years with the virus and just accept the system crashes and slowdowns as a fact of life, but it doesn't have to be that way if you act quickly, you can take the necessary steps to remove it forever.