Maybe you are. The fact that you sometimes, or even often, want sex, doesn't make you a "sexually-driven monkey"... not anymore than when I look at a guy and then fantasize about the size of his cock means I'm about to just spazz out, rip off his clothes, and scream "Fuck me now, man-beast!" But I'll fantasize about it.
Ah! Size does matter! I knew it!
Also, AppArmor-like systems are quite handy too as they allow very fine-grained control for what operations a certain process/executable can perform, thereby allowing you to avoid modifications to the FS via an exploited vulnerability in the first place (and also limit what the exploit's payload will be able to execute once in RAM, no execution privs means no way to execute a shell which makes things much harder).
But even so, privs can be escalated and jails can be broken and vulns can be chained, better get some security education and minimize the chances of writing vulnerable code in the first place, and then carefully fix the inevitable vulnerabilities which you'll surely introduce as soon as you learn about them.
I'm pretty sure others have had similar experiences which turned out to be to their benefit since they enabled them to learn that acting stupid has a nasty price a lot of the time. I've no comments about the second part of your argument though.
Just out of curiosity, please e-mail me personally, and tell me what prompted you to write that reply and what your expected outcome was -- my e-mail address is publicly visible. I'm not kidding, just asking human to human, nothing to do with the discussion about this news item.
I find it funny to startle my parents when they're not looking my way, I do that to them and they do that to me. Does that sabotage our relationship? The brief moment one feels they're in imminent danger intensifies the comedic effect which soon follows.
When did our society become one of precious little snowflakes that get overwhelmed by the stupidest pranks?
Either that or I'm just too thick skinned to discern the difference, not sure about me being a moron though.
If your parent are nutjobs and take some insane extreme measure in response then you've got serious problems and it's better you know that your parents are morons sooner rather than later.