The problem with calling it "a Ferrari without a paintjob" is that it's not a Ferrari of a movie. Hell, it's not even an Hyundai Elantra of a movie.

At least watching the workprint made it fun: "Claws Grow".

Post signs that your parking lot stating it is "Private Property" and "Parking by Permission Only" or control the access via a gate or something, you are then (generally, varies by country and state) allowed to set parking however you see fit. Very many pay-parking-lots in my area do not have accessible spaces and are allowed to do this because they are not technically "public". (Yes, I actually asked city hall and that's what they said).

UNLESS you are also an employer in the US. In which case you must follow ADA guidelines and provide spaces based on the size of your lot and/or workforce size.

This is, of couse, all academic to argue about since once you are in a position to actually NEED those space (really, physically need them) you don't care how much other people are annoyed by them.

The leads are weak!

I mean, of course, a T.J. Hooker reunion show?

I would be playing the World's Smallest Violin for Apple right now, except someone already has the patent for it and has threatened to sue me over it.

2001: Record labels sue my.mp3.com in to oblivion.
2011: Record labels can't wait to suck on the iTunes Cloud teat.

He didn't have to. Have you SEEN the ANIME that has been coming out of Japan for decades? Thousands of Manga authors already predicted it! Let's hope the predictions of two-wheel-drive electric motorcycles and sexy, sexy robots also come true.

So the "Too long; Didn't read" of this basically is:

"It's too hard to write portable code."

"FIAT currency tends to be.."

I believe you mean 'fiat', not "FIAT". Fiat currency is legal tender that has value backed by decree of a policymaker; The FIAT Currency is the new hatchback from the Italian automaker.

You have no equity? If they haven't offered any to you in exchange for this, frankly, ridiculous effort you should say the following:

Dear Mr Bossman.

Kindly piss up a flagpole. If you do not have a convenient flagpole, I can direct you to one. If you have no piss, I will happily furnish you with as much as is required.

Regards,
your name