To be fair I'm also no fan of what is traditionally considered "LAMP". I personally believe PHP is more dangerous than it needs to be, MySQL is a poor choice relative to alternatives and harbor little regard even for Apache.
MongoDB is built for the cloud
No. Application design limits scalability of non-trivial systems not the data store.
MySQL's structure is confining (and overrated)
The only thing that sucks worse than a good relational schema design is everything else.
JOINS JOINS JOINS... The reason for JOINs is saving disk space... mind blown.
Node.js simplifies the server layer
MEAN makes code isomorphic
General purpose languages are a dead end. The money you save not having to train people to use appropriate DSLs for the task at hand will be more than offset by increased cost of managing product lifecycle.
ab is the most worthless (slow, single threaded, client CPU limited) tool for benchmarking web servers you can pick. Almost as worthless as benchmarking hello world applications bearing no resemblance to real world usage.
How does admitting to being behind other solutions translate into a reason for your approach?
I'm disappointed all around.. both with this article and what is allowed to pass for forward progress in the web stack space.