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Journal: Lies Lies Lies! 1

Journal by Tseran
Why is it that some people persist on telling obvious lies to get the attention of others, when it is obvious that they are doing so? Do they think that everyone is as blind and stupid as they are? But of course, when it comes to the Republicans telling the lies to the media, the old addage "One tells a lie, one hundred repeat it as true" comes to mind. Remember folks, just because you see it on the TV, or at a 'news' station, doesn't mean that it is true. And if its posted by certain people, it generall isn't.
Spam

Journal: The Million Forward March

Journal by Tseran
My girlfriend got another one of those stupid "Please help me save my baby" hoaxes and that was the last straw for me. I blew a gasket. Here is the exact email I sent....to all 505 addresses I found in this email's message. (Yes, 505 email addresses)

Welcome to the first warning from the Prophet of Kibo, Tseran. For those of you who do not know who Kibo is, some have called him the God of the Net. He was awarded this title for being able to determine when someone was talking about him on newsgroups in the early days of the internet and then replying to them. And now, with the spread of internet hoaxes and email virii, it is time for his Prophet to appear and deliver you from the hell that is online!

Some time in the past 2 or 3 months you received an email with a picture of a baby who supposedly had brain cancer. Some of you even passed it on, feeling sorry for this baby, hoping to do something. Guess what. That baby is alive, and healthy. There was no brain cancer in the infant shown. You have been HOAXED!

Now, to those of you who read this email and either deleted it or researched it, I applaud you. Your contribution has made the net a better place.

To those of you who forwarded it, I shake my finger at you. Not only did you perpetuate the hoax, you also helped in the spread of that wonderful spam mail that we all enjoy. How? Well, off the email that I got, I was able to collect a whopping 505 email addresses. Each of those people is receiving this email. Now, all that needs happen is one spam mailing company gets this email and suddenly, you are all being offered cheap viagra and 101 ways to make money off soy bean soup.

You may ask yourself "But Prophet, how did you send this mail to me, and all the other 505 people without me knowing? Did you send out 505 different emails?" No! I used a function called BCC which stands for Blind Carbon Copy. What this does is allows me to send an email to everyone in the BCC list without any of them seeing the other email addresses. Now, I know you WebTV folks can't do this, but the least you can do is delete the email addresses of the person who sent it to you and the ones they sent it to.

What I am going to do now is give you all a suggestion of what to do from now on. You can choose to ignore it and go on with life as usual and help spread lies, spam and bad etiquette. Or you can choose to follow my lead and help the Internet be a better place for everyone.

#1. When you receive a virus warning, plea for help, or anything that wants you to send it to as many people as possible, PLEASE investigate it. Here is a good site to start:

http://www.snopes.com/

In fact, if you go to this URL: http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/children/natalie.htm
you will see the information about the hoax you all received. If you can find it there, and it is a hoax, delete it, and as a public service, reply to the person who sent it with a copy of the URL that labels it a hoax. Send them a copy of this email if you like as well. The only time it is acceptable to send something to all your friends is if it is a joke, or if it is useful, non-hoax information. Would you want your friends sending you advertisements? I didn't think so. And a word of caution, chances are, those big companies will NEVER give you or anyone else anything for free. They can't stay in business doing that.

#2. Please remove all email addresses from the forwarded message (if it fits with something that you should forward) It will cut down on the amount of spam people receive. It will also cut down on the size of the message. And folks, the bigger the message, the longer it takes some people to download the mail. Some people still pay for how long they are online, so you are costing them money with long messages.

Thank you if you read this far, and fare well.
Tseran, The Prophet of Kibo

Ps. Send this to as many people as you want to, it will be good for them to know, so they don't send you a hoax later. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
Christmas Cheer

Journal: Twas the Night Before Ashcroft

Journal by Tseran
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,
Everyone was nervous, including the mouse.
Some internet hoax had filled us with dread,
Saying a suburban terrorist would drop more planes on our head.

The kids were all hiding underneath their beds,
And grandpa was screaming, "They're coming those reds!"
With a gun in my hand and speed dial set,
I was prepared for all of what Bush had said.

When out in the street there arose such a clatter,
I was sure that soon nothing would matter,
Off my chair I rushed with a roar,
To kill some muslims like Dubya before.

The lights in the street had a red glare,
And at what I saw I could not help but stare.
For what to my surprise should appear,
But a bullet ridden sleigh and a fat man in fear.

His skin was all white and covered with sweat,
And in the red suit was a flak vest I bet.
He looked at me through my shotgun sights
And sighed "It's gonna be one of those nights"

"Put down your gun, I mean you no harm!"
And I believed him too and turned off the alarm.
"I'm just doing my job as I have every year,
Although this time it may be the last I fear."

He sighed as he looked up at me with dread,
"The bullets from the airforce killed my reindeer dead,
And the damage to the sleigh is bad now I see
After this flight Allstate will never insure me!"

"The fear that your president has spread,
Can only end with more children dead.
He calls them all terrorist swine,
And claims his mission is from the divine."

"Then off to Iraq he jumps with no warning,
And drops more bombs on them in the morning.
He scares me when he warns of attack,
Like somehow the twin towers can be brought back."

I saw that he was right and Dubya was all wrong,
We had been fighting the wrong enemy all along,
We should not fight those who hate us afar,
But against the fears we have in our heart.

He saw that I had figured it out with a smile,
And he had reinforced his sleigh all the while.
"Its back to Canada and the North pole for me,
Its not war that brings freedom, but peace now you see."

He rose from the ground and he heaved a great sigh,
And I couldn't help but notice a tear in his eye;
"I've tried," he declared, "to reverse my defeat,
But I fear that with Bush I've become obsolete."

He slumped down quite low and returned to his sleigh,
And these sad words he spoke as he went on his way;
"No longer will I do the job that's required;
If anyone asks, say,'Bush had me fired!'"
Christmas Cheer

Journal: Homeland Security is Coming to Town

Journal by Tseran
You better watch out,
In 9-11 don't pry,
Don't speak out,
I'm telling you why.
Dubya Bush is hunting you down

He's makin' a list
And checking it twice
Gonna take out
Your Civil Rights
Dubya Bush is hunting you down

He hears you when you're saying
You don't like his way
So watch your back and lock your doors
And beware the NSA

Oh, you better watch out,
Kiss your rights good bye
Shut your trap
I'm telling you why
Dubya Bush is hunting you down
Microsoft

Journal: You don't know the processing power of the Dark Side!

Journal by Tseran
Just when I thought I had seen it all...Lunchbox PC's, PC's made into aquariums, small computers, CPU cases turned into kleenex boxes....But this takes the cake. Is this the proof that we need that Windows is indeed the Dark Side? Does that make Bill Gates the PC Lord of the Sith?

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