Sad news, Britney Spears dead at 22
I just heard some really sad news on Fox - Singer and Popstar Britney Jean Spears was found dead in her Louisana home this morning.
Apparently, the cause of death was excessive bleeding after a sizzling night of hot anal sex with her ex. boyfriend, Justin Timberlake.
"We were just having good sushi, and she asked me if I would please her", said Justin. Although he has since turned gay after his breakup with her, Justin was willing to please Britney as long as she would take it up her ass.
Following a night of sex for 10 hours, Britney sustained an injury in her lower vaginal area and subsequently bled to death. Her husband Kevin Federline, who is at the moment spending time at a federal prison for sexual advances towards Natalie "hot grits" Portman was not available for comment (an incident which has infuriated the Slashdot community, understandably).
However, President George W Bush offered his comments on the incident. "Here is the reason why anal sex is bad and why gays are unAmerican, they kill Americans and American icons", he was quoted as saying.
There weren't any more details. I'm sure everyone in the Slashdot community will surely miss her - even if you didn't enjoy her work, there's no denying her contributions to popular culture. Truly an American icon.
She will be missed, sorely.
Hit me baby, one more time. I'll miss you, oh baby baby.
Indeed, Britney. Indeed. Rest in peace, child.