Oh alright, here you go then:
...since Bash can run on *anything*, that makes it and "anything running Bash" issue, including your precious Windows...
So..."Did I say both are equally vulnerable" - why yes; yes you did!
Then there was the whole "look, cmd.exe can't parse stuff either correctly" - that's also kinda along the same "lol Windows is just as bad" lines.
And we both know ShellShock is a particularly epic *nix only issue, really, even if technicaly....possibly it could be bad on Windows too....well not really. Get over it; it happens. Just this time Windows comes out on top. Your defensiveness and keenness at mitigating culpability serves only to make the issue look worse than it is, aside from being highly amusing.