In the Ghetto Part XI
Reza unfastened the tape that secured the diaper around Marticock's waist. A gag
reflex gripped her stomach as the powerful stench of Marticock's hour-old feces
assaulted her nostrils. As Reza wrestled with the baby's kicking legs, the fat hanging
from her arms rippled and quivered. Reza tried to hold back a cough as her stomach
squeezed around the massive lunch she had just eaten. The attempt was futile and
Reza coughed and choked simultaneously, causing a large wad of mucus to land on Marticock's
face. Marticock clumsily wiped away the mucus with his waving arm and licked it off his
Reza turned Marticock over on the changing table, so that he layed on his stomach.
His bottom was smeared with brown goo, which had Vlad's semen mixed in with it. Reza's
mouth watered at the sight of the milky white fluid. Her sexual desire burned so
strongly within her, that it blinded her to Marticock's feces-smeared butt and all she
could see were the love juices of her beloved Vlad, who sat farting in the living room
of the double-wide. Reza's mouth watered.
It had been so long since Vlad had shot a load into her multi-chinned mouth. Her
jowls quivered like the giant hanging testicles of a prized race-horse. Reza longed
to once again partake of the fruits of Vlad's testes; she became entranced; the room
melted away; marticock dissolved. The perimeter of her vision narrowed until all she
could see was the thick white fluid. Reza lowered her face to Marticock's ass and
began to lick the stale semen. It's cold saltiness made her mouth come alive. As
she devoured more and more of the fluid, she began to lick more vigorously, until
Marticock's ass had been licked clean.
That was just enough to whet her appetite. Reza flipped Marticock over onto his
back and took his genitals into her stench-ridden mouth. She sucked on his scrotum
and tiny penis all at once. Marticock gurgled with a satisfaction he could not
begin to comprehend. Reza was so enchanted by her tender moment with her son, she
did not hear the heavy thuds making their way down the center of the double-wide.
Marticock's bedroom door, paper-thin as the walls, flung open and Vlad stood at
the entrance wearing his stained t-shirt and yellowed white briefs. Vlad farted with
rage, "what in the hell do you think you're doing to my son, you fat cunt?"
A burst of gas was ejected from Reza's bowel by the tensing of her colonic nerves,
Vlad's face reddened and the vein in his temple began to throb, "I told you Marticock
Reza covered her face with her massive arms as Vlad stormed over to her. He raised
a massive hairy fist and brought it down upon the quivering tub of lard, "I'll teach you
to screw with my Marticock!"
"My Marticock," Vlad yelled, as he repeatedly beat the elephantine woman, "My Marticock!"
"My... Marti... COCK!"
Reza crumpled into a bawling heap on the dirty carpet of the double wide. As she lay
shaking and crying, Vlad pulled his thimble-sized penis through the opening in the front
of his briefs. He massaged his penis until it was hard and then plunged it into Marticock's
ass, which was wet with Reza's saliva.
"Awwwwww, yeah," Vlad gasped.
In the Ghetto Part XII
Editor's Note: a small portion of Chapter XII was leaked out a bit early,
causing the context of the chapter to be entirely lost. We apologize for the
The universe you see around you is not all that there is. For everything that
exists, there is an antipode to its existence. For every idea, there is an
antithesis. Our own reality, viewed from the other side, is a very different place.
This "mirror universe" is an equal but opposite shadow of our own. It can be called
the Evil Universe as well, because although our own universe is held together by the
laws of order that bind atoms, molecules, planets, and even human souls together into
harmony, the mirror universe is held together only by being a twisted perversion of
the true reality.
In the Evil Universe, everything is the opposite of its true nature, and nothing
is as it seems. But sometimes, the ephemeral substance of reality grows weak.
Sometimes, those who know the secrets can look from one universe into another, and
see things as they might have been.
This is one such story.
In the Evil Universe
Vlad woke up with a jolt. His alarm clock was ringing. Reaching over his wife, his
best-friend, his life-long companion, he turned it off, and gazed lovingly into her
dreary eyes. "Hey sexy," he said, giving her a soft kiss. "I need to get up and go to
In the True Universe
Vlad woke up to the smell of feces. Reza had shat herself again, and even to a
scat-lover like Vlad, this was too rank to stand. He saw from his clock that it was
2PM. Well, it was still rather early, but he decided to get out of bed before he
passed out from the stench. As he stood up, he punched Reza in the face. "Wake up,
bitch," he said, trying to dislodge his fist from the folds of her chin. "You just
ruined the sheets again."
In the Evil Universe
She stared longingly at him as he softly got out of bed and walked towards the
door, still in his underwear and robe. He turned on the light and was surprised to see
breakfast already waiting for him. He ate the biscuits, eggs and bacon that his wife
had made for his, relishing every second. He loved his wife's cooking.
In the True Universe
She glared at him as he got out of bed and walked towards the door, his own bare
ass dribbling liquid feces onto the floor. Reza hadn't shat the bed at all, Vlad had
just blamed her again. Vlad looked around the empty, filthy kitchen (the food they
bought with their welfare check didn't last long with their appetites). Grumbling, he
picked up a few live roaches on the floor and crunched into them. His mood improved a
bit. Then, he found a large discarded half-full tub of rotting lard under the sink.
In the Evil Universe
He took a quick shower and got dressed. "I'm off to work honey," he called out to
her. "Okay, have a good day!" he heard Reza respond. Vlad walked into the computer
room and sat down to begin work.
Being a successful small-business enterpeneur, Vlad could afford the luxury of working
at home to spend more time with Reza and his only son, Marti. He turned on Windows XP
and checked his e-mail -- he had 32 new orders overnight!!
In the True Universe
Vlad sniffed at his armpits. His shower could wait another week or two; he just
took one back in June. Vlad sat down at the computer and began to ineptly flame
strangers on the Internet. "Hah, I'm so clever," thought Vlad, as he slowly
hunt-and-pecked I OWN A BUSINESS. GO FUCK YOURSELF. onto the screen.
In the Evil Universe
Vlad chuckled. Business had been booming; he had recently earned a lot of money and
started to start a substantial college fund for Marti. He also got an email from
Trollassor - the daily death threat from him - and one from Rusty, who was requesting
Vlad's expertise in weblogs for K5. Vlad gladly assisted Rusty with what he needed,
and replied to Trollassor's email with a on-line chuckle and a smile.
He set up the new accounts - a process which took only a few minutes. He answered
the few technical support requests he had - of over the 1,000 accounts, he only gets
3 to 4 technical support requests per day, something related to his "excellent
service" which he is so proud of.
In the True Universe
Vlad frowned as he checked his e-mail. His last remaining customer was promising
to drop him immediately because of the inferior service unless Vlad did something
about it immediately. "You betrayer," Vlad thought. "You Judas! You Brutus!"
Vlad's ego swelled as his anger rose. His face turned red with fury, and he punched
his computer monitor squarely. Fortunately, he wasn't strong enough to break the
screen, but he did bruise his knuckles badly. He yelped like a girl.
He slowly typed his response to his only remaining customer: I OWN A BUSINESS.
GO FUCK YOURSELF. WELCOME TO /DEV/NULL. YOU LITTLE BITCH. Vlad then deleted
the customer's account. He tried, at least. He wound up formatting every filesystem
on his computer. Vlad spoke aloud, "Well, either way, the bastard's gone. That'll
teach him to fuck with ME! I own a business!"
He now had no customers, but he didn't care.
In the Evil Universe
After taking care of his customers, Vlad entered the room with Reza and Marti, and
they both spent quality family time together. Vlad was gushing inside; no one was as
lucky as him. No one felt the way he did; he had a beautiful wife, he had a loving
child, he had a successful business.
In the True Universe
After getting rid of his last customer, Vlad entered the room with Reza and
Martincôck. As he snatched up Martincôck and yanked off his diaper, Reza
protested. "Scott, this has gone too far! You're a sick, disgusting pedophile, and
this ends NOW!" She launched herself at Vlad, but when she collided with him, she
bounced off and landed on her ass, breaking through the floorboards. Vlad's fury
returned. He kicked her in the face. "I OWN A BUSINESS," he screamed. He brought up
his knee, smashing into her nose. "GO FUCK YOURSELF!" Vlad slammed his fist down
onto Reza's skull repeatedly. "WELCOME TO /DEV/NULL!!!" Reza slumped to the ground
unconscious with a sickening thud. "You little bitch," Vlad muttered.
Martincôck was crying. Well, he was about to cry a lot more. Vlad was
exhausted and covered in sweat and stench from his fight with Reza, but that wouldn't
stop him. He stroked his penis into an erection and then set Martincôck on his lap.
In the Evil Universe
"Life is truly good," he thought to himself.
In the True Universe
Vlad farted. Martincôck wailed in agony.
"Life is truly good," he thought to himself.
In the Ghetto Part XIII
Vlad belched as he picked dried chunks of Kraft Macaroni and
Cheese from his chest hairs. He popped the crusty dried goodness
into his mouth and savored the delightful taste. His stomach
accepted the offering gladly and rewarded Vlad with a thunderous
pocket of gas. Having cleaned his chest, Vlad leaned back in the
makeshift, orange vinyled couch and farted.
Vlad's favorite television program was about to come on, "hey,
fat-ass, get your ugly mug in here and turn on the TV!"
Reza thudded into the living room and switched on the television.
The T.V. slowly flickered into operation. It emitted a
high-pitched squeal for several minutes until the aged components
in its cabinet warmed to operating temperature. Once the television
was operating at near full capacity, Vlad was greeted with a snowy
image and static-tainted audio.
"Fix that picture, Fatty. I ain't watchin' no wrestlin' like
Reza adjusted the tin foil sheets that were wrapped around the
rabbit ear antennae of the television. She managed to get the
picture to clear up to acceptable levels and sat on the floor and
leaned against the couch.
"Vlad, honey, wouldn't you rather play with ME tonight, instead
of watchin' the wrestlin'?"
"You gonna have to come up wit' somethin' a hellavu lot better'n
that, you fat tub of shit."
Reza lowered her head in shame. She couldn't believe it; she
hated to admit it; Vlad no longer made her feel attractive. She
decided she was going to get Vlad's attention once and for all. She
pulled off Vlad's discolored socks and began to suck on his sweaty
pale toes, pausing only to remove the hair from his toes from
between her rotting teeth. Reza tenderly put each toe in her mouth
and massaged the dirt and crust from them. Vlad moaned - with his
Just as Reza was beginning to work on the second foot, a pounding
came from the front door. The loosened screen door clattered loudly
and roused Vlad to awareness, "whaa...."
"Don't worry, Vladdy-poo, I'll get it..."
Vlad grimaced as his voluminous wife managed to lift herself
from the floor. The ordeal left her drenched with sweat and
gasping for air. But she liked being in that condition, feeling
that it brought her closer to her beloved Vlad. Reza lumbered over
to the front door, each gargantuan footstep rattling some piece of
second-hand junk purchased at the local flea-market. She looked
through the piece of velvet tacked over the broken glass of the
front door, "it's your step-sister. what's she doing here at this
time of night?"
"I invited her over, you fat stinkin' cunt."
Vlad launched himself from the couch with an extraordinary burst
of flatulence. He waddled over to the door and pushed Reza out of
the way. She slammed against the wall, knocking a large hole in
it. Reza covered her face with her hands and began to weep as she
ran into the bedroom to hide.
"Hey there, kiddo," Vlad greeted his step-sister, "I've been
waitin' for ya!"
Mary entered the double-wide with a stupid grin on her face. Vlad
patted her robust bottom, "hehehehehe, gettin' plump there, girl!"
Mary had learned well from her time spent with Vlad and responded
to Vlad's compliment with a healthy fart. Vlad chuckled again and
took Mary by her soft, gelatinous arm, "come on in here."
Vlad led Mary into Marticock's chamber and stripped off the two
pieces of clothing he was wearing. Mary grew wet as she was barely
able to discern the head of Vlad's penis which was covered with
brown, dirty pubic hair. Mary shyly took off her pink top and
black slacks. Vlad smiled as he slid over to Mary. He put his
arms around her and slipped off her Winnie-the-Poo panties and
training bra. Vlad pulled his step-sister close to his body and
savored the warmth of her hairless pubic area against his legs.
"Awwwww, yeah, baby, you know I like it like that," Vlad cooed.
Vlad pulled away from Mary, "now, are you ready for your little
Mary, grinning from ear-to-ear nodded demurely. Vlad picked her
up and, sweating and panting, carried her over to Marticock's
changing table. He layed Mary upon the table and gently spread her
legs. She closed her eyes and sighed softly.
Vlad walked over to Marticock and lifted him out of the crib. He
tore Marticock's diaper off with his teeth and rubbed baby oil on
him until he was a small, well-oiled sex toy.
Vlad held Marticock by his legs and walked over to Mary, still
waiting on the changing table, "are you ready?"
Vlad shoved Marticock's head into Mary's unripened vagina. He
plunged Marticock in and out vigorously until Mary screamed with
delight. Her young body could not withstand the ecstacy that Vlad
had thrust upon it and, within seconds, her vagina exploded in its
first orgasm. As streams of ejaculate shot from between Mary's
legs to spray all over Marticock, Vlad squeezed on Marticock's
abdomen, causing him to fart violently. The vibration sent Mary's
shaking body further over the edge and she screamed with delight.
Vlad farted with satisfaction.
In the Ghetto Part XIV
Vlad was in trouble. His unemployment was due to expire soon and
he had not even bothered looking for a job. He had pinned his hopes
on his internet business taking off, but in the several months it
had been operating, he had actually spent more than he made from it.
Vlad just didn't understand how this was possible. Everything he
had read on the internet indicated that pornography was a great way
to make big money. Not only did he have the widest selection of
porn he could find, he also had the most original, using his own
pictures of his precious time with Marticock and he had even managed
to sneak some pictures of Reza masturbating with a watermelon in the
shower. He decided to check the stats on the admin page of his porn
Vlad loaded the page and typed in the username, "freeporn" then
the password, "freeporn". Vlad's jaw dropped. One thousand
downloads in one hour and he hadn't brought in one penny. A bubble
of rage swelled within Vlad's gut and escaped noisily through his
anus. Vlad wiped away the sweat that was condensing on his brow
and decided he would put the fear of God into the thieves that
had perpetrated this upon him. Vlad clicked his way to kuro5hin.org
and brought up the "New Diary" form.
* * *
Subject: KEEP IT UP!
To all of you BACKSTABBERS that are FUCKING me out of FREE
porn: I WILL find YOU and I WILL DEAL with YOU! Once I find
out HOW and WHO, I will be PAYING you a little visit. Have
you ever seen Charlies Angels? THAT'S the style of MARTIAL
ARTZ I practice. YOU will be getting a FREE LESSON in how
fast 400 pounds of VLAD can MOVE!
* * *
Satisfied that this would scare even the most insidious of
elements, Vlad posted the diary. He farted with satisfaction
and shut down his computer. It looked like Vlad would have to
go out job hunting. The very thought of it made the skin on
his back crawl, but he had to do something. Reza couldn't
breast feed Marticock forever and Vlad needed Marticock
healthy, since Marticock's ass was the only good thing left
in Vlad's miserable life. Vlad grabbed a cold Budweiser from
the refrigerator and picked up his toolbox on the way out the
The Chevy van had been up on blocks for several months now.
Vlad would have to get it running if he was going to find a
job. Vlad sighed heavily and dejectedly walked over to the
van. The oil plug was laying in the grass underneath the
van; Vlad had to drain the oil one night when he ran out of
vaseline to use on Marticock. Vlad also remembered, in his
drunken haze, that the battery was dead on the van and he hadn't
been able to figure out how to recharge it. His cousin had lent
him a battery charger. Vlad walked over to a crumbling wooden
box that sat next to the door of the double-wide. He fished out
a can of two-cycle oil and the battery charger.
Vlad screwed the oil plug back into the pan and dumped the
can of two-cycle oil into the block. He was already panting and
sweating from all the exertion, but he still had to charge the
battery. Vlad tried to remember the instructions that his cousin
had described. Hesitantly, Vlad removed two of the spark plug
cables on the van - one on each end of the engine. He placed one
of the alligator clamps on one spark plug and the other clamp on
the other spark plug. Vlad couldn't see anything happening so he
banged on the engine with his hammer, then noticed an electrical
cord attached to the battery charger.
"Aha!" Vlad thought. He took the plug and shoved it into an
outlet attached to the outside of the double-wide. A great arc
of blue energy rose from the engine of the Chevy van and crackled
high in the air. The energy bolt vanished as all the lights in the
neighborhood went out.
Vlad was exhausted. He disconnected the battery charger and tossed
it in the back of the van. He guzzled the remainder of his beer and
dropped the can on the driveway before returning to the double-wide
for another Budweiser.
In the Ghetto Part XV
Vlad's three chins quivered with delight as he tossed another prozac into his
mouth. The pills were doing very little to relieve Vlad's boredom. He sat on the
orange couch in his underwear and continued to stare at the flickering images
emitted by the television. Vlad was so numbed by the prozac that he didn't notice
the clattering of the front door as Reza wallowed into the double-wide.
"Good news, Vladdie-Pop!"
Vlad drooled as he grunted.
"I took all of your empty beer cans I found laying on the floor and sold them!
Look! I got twenty dollars!"
A new life sprang into Vlad's eyes, "let's celebrate, you fat fuck!"
Reza beamed as she nodded, "yes!"
One-by-one the neighbors closed their windows and shut their blinds as the Chevy
van banged and chugged slowly down the street. Occasionally, a child would peer out
from between the blinds and point and laugh at the primer-colored van as it spewed
smoke out of the tailpipe.
Vlad had managed to get the van running, but only barely. Even though he had the
gas pedal pushed to the floor, the van would only go 30 miles per hour. Once in a
while, the van would lunge forward with a great, momentary burst of speed - just
enough force to knock some part from the engine and then it would settle back down to
its slow pace. Vlad thought this was good though, as it would give him an excuse for
being late for work if he ever did find a job.
Eventually, the van completed the 10 mile journey to the movie theater and Vlad
parked in a nice handicapped spot. He fiddled with the door handle until it gave way
and the door opened and Reza, carrying Marticock, joined him in front of the
"Yeah. I've been wanting to see this," Vlad exclaimed excitedly.
"Look Vlad," Reza pointed to the billboard, "Fried Green Tomatoes 2 is playing!"
Vlad farted, "we're gonna see Blade 3 and you're gonna like it, you fat tub of
Reza sighed, "yes dear."
The line at the box office was long, but Vlad and Reza and Marticock eventually
got their tickets and were seated in the theater only minutes after the movie had
Vlad sat his extra-large popcorn and extra-large Coke in the seat next to him. He
unzipped his pants and fished out his stiffened penis. He took Marticock from Reza
and sat him on his lap, so that his penis penetrated Marticock's anus. Vlad grunted
loudly and was admonished with several "shhhhhh" sounds from the audience.
Reza noticed that Vlad was molesting Marticock right there in front of her and
began to sob loudly. Vlad paid no attention as Wesley Snipes flashed onto the movie
screen, "Yeah! That's what I'm talkin' about Jigabro!" He yelled.
Marticock, his anus irritated and bleeding, began to cry. Vlad tried to soothe him
by thrusting his penis in and out of Marticock's anus. It was to no avail. Several
audience members began to throw popcorn at the Lockwoods. Some even shot ice at them
through straws. But Vlad paid no attention, as he cheered on his hero, screaming with
pleasure and farting with excitement.
Eventually, the movie ended and Vlad and Reza, carrying Marticock again, left the
building among a large crowd. Vlad, still having visions of Wesley Snipes, was
incompetently immitating several of the martial arts moves he had seen in the film
when a scrawny black teenager walked up to him, "say, you fat white motherfucker,
what's yo' problem anyway? Didn't yo' mamma teach you any manners?"
Vlad's face became flushed with rage, "did you see the martial arts in that
movie? THAT'S the style of martial arts I practice."
Vlad bent his legs and brought his arms up in a blocking position, "You're gonna
get one free lesson, punk."
With one swift jab and a loud crack, Vlad was flailing on the ground like a turtle
that had been turned upside-down, "wha.... where am I."
Reza screamed with terror, "Vladdie-Pop are you OK?" As she knelt to tend to
Vlad's bleeding nose, her fat, flopping breasts spilled out of her top.
A large group of people were still filtering out of the theater and they all
laughed and pointed at the three Lockwoods.
"Shut-up! You are all evil, evil people!" Reza yelled.
A small girl quietly tip-toed up to Reza and pushed her massive butt. That was
enough to cause Reza to topple over onto Vlad, with Marticock sandwiched between
The crowd of people laughed harder as they passed by.
Vlad noticed Marticock pressed against his stomach and became aroused. He fished
his penis out of his pants again and penetrated Marticock's anus.
In the Ghetto Part XVI
Vlad muted the television and perked his ears up. He thought he heard a loud
banging on the door. Popping another 10mg of Prozac, his fifth of the day, Vlad
decided he wasn't hallucinating and farted. Hoisted himself up from squatting
position on the couch, he scratched at his crotch through his stained briefs, and
waddled on over to the door. The pounding was still going on, and he was sure the
screen door would need fixing, which meant it would hang dented forever. Scott opened
Starata bellowed as he ran in through the opened doorway, knocking Scott to his
ass. Pots and pans scattered about and garbage spilled all over the kitchen floor as
he rolled around trying to regain his footing. Scott's arms and legs waved in the
air, like a beetle turned over on its back. A dung beetle, that is.
"This abuse of my beautiful daughter must stop now, William Scott!" Starata
yelled in a thick Slovenian accent. "You no treat her right, she is so much woman for
you and you disrespect her. You disrespect me too!" he added as he gave Scott's gut a
Scott stood upright, sweat pouring over his face. The room filled with the smell
of Vlad's unhealthy colon as he farted in anxiety. It was some sort of animalistic
defense mechanism when he felt threatened, akin to a skunk's musk gland.
Screaming at the top of his lungs, Vlad began his default threat. "Ever see
TERMINATOR 3?! THAT'S the kind of--"
Vlad was stopped short by a punch to the gut, followed by more angry yelling by
"You live in squalor! You are nothing more than fat, lazy bum who can not provide
for my beautiful Slovenian star. Get a job! Work! Keep food on the table!"
Vlad shook with rage, the old familiar feeling of someone rubbing his failed life
in his face rising in his considerable gut. One would think that at this point Scott
would be used to his failures and people pointing them out, but he found himself in
the middle of yet another violent rage. The difference this time was that he was in
the room with Reza's father, who proved a little harder to manhandle than Reza did.
Vlad tried once again to threaten the old man.
"I own a business. Go fuck yourself!" he squawked. "Welcome to /dev/null!!!"
With this, Vlad leapt at Starata, arms held in some pseudo-martial arts maneuver.
Starata, arthritis and all, was a foot away by the time Scott reached him. Vlad
connected with thin air, the lack of resistance causing him to lose his balance. He
fell face-forward into the dog's food dish. Wet, liver-flavored mush covered his
flabby chin and Coke-bottle glasses. He sputtered and spat pieces of the foul-tasting
paste onto the kitchen floor.
Starata kicked Scott in his ass, again pressing Vlad's fat head into the dog's
"You have job in week, or I come back with shotgun!" the old Slav promised. With
this he turned on heel and walked out of the door and down the rickety wooden steps,
away from 1205 Dearborn. Fences dogs barked at his passing well after he had left in
a trail of exhaust smoke.
Vlad, crying in rage he was not able to properly vent, could think of only two
things that would make him feel better right then and there.
"REZA, YOU FAT FUCKING CUNT, BRING YOUR WALRUS ASS IN HERE. AND BRING MARTICOCK
In the Ghetto Part XVII
Vlad opened the door to the double-wide. His jaw dropped. Standing before him
were three figures, all of the exact same proportions. They were tall, lithe and
dressed completely in a black cloth of some manufacture that Vlad had never
before seen. He imagined the material came from some exotic land, possibly
Canada. The only part of their bodies not covered in the space-age cloth were
their eyes, which were two points of bright light that were shining a deep red.
The only distinction among the three figures were white symbols on their chests.
The first sported an 'A', the second a 'V' and the third a '3'.
Inside Vlad's skull, a complex set of reactions were taking place. Neurons
connected to emit a series of electrical impulses that flowed slugishly through
the sludge of his mind. Some of the impulses escaped into brown, rotting nerves
and oozed slowly throughout his body and into various atrophied muscles. The
muscles, many of which Vlad hadn't used in ten years, twitched and churned into
life. In the fifty three point two seconds it took Vlad's body to adjust itself
into the "Crane" stance he had seen in the movie the "Karate Kid", the mysterious
figures had all darted into the double-wide and positioned themselves behind
him. To Vlad, the three images had barely registered, merely a flicker in his
eye that could have been the shadow of a bird flying high overhead.
'A' grabbed Vlad's cold clammy arms and bent them around so that his wrists
were brought together behind his back. He then swiped his leg in a circular
motion, causing Vlad to trip and fall on his stomach. 'A' disappeared into
the double-wide while 'V' cut a circular hole in Vlad's briefs with a laser
knife. He shoved a hose into the hole and stuffed it up Vlad's twitching anus.
'V' tossed the other end of the hose to '3', who affixed a gas mask to the hose.
He then attached the mask to Vlad's face.
By the time Vlad had realized that his Crane Stance had failed, 'A' returned
with Marticock. He closed the door of the double-wide and 'V' joined him
in front of the door, with Vlad watching. 'V' held Marticock against the
water-warped door while 'A' produced a bag of gleaming, silver-coated 10 inch
nails. One-by-one he put the nails in a nail gun and shot them into Marticock,
affixing him to the door.
Vlad screamed in horror. His entire body trembled. His face was drenched with
sweat. His heart choked as it constricted in his chest, trying to push the
thick syrupy Lockwood blood through huge rock-beds of solidified cholesterol.
His bowel revolted. Soon, Vlad's intestines were pumping huge volumes of
gas out his anus... and into the hose. Vlad choked on his own flatulence. His
lungs burned from the unholy stench. Vlad felt himself rolling over, out of
his own pale, disgustingly obese body. He felt himself falling.
Vlad had no senses in the tradition he had been accustomed to his entire life.
But he had an awareness at a different level - a level that he simply understood
as Natural, but he could not comprehend. He sensed himself falling at
tremendous speed to an unimaginable depth. Then...
Vlad jerked to consciousness. His body was drenched with pungent sweat. His
heart was pounding blood through stiffened arteries. He anus burned from the
gasses violently escaping from it. He opened his eyes and found himself on
his bedroom floor, wallowing in a unique blend of potato chip and cookie
crumbs. Slowly his senses returned to him and he realized Reza was snoring like
a hippopotamus wailing for a mate.
It had all been a nightmare.
Vlad got up slowly and peeled off his urine-soaked briefs and stained,
sleeveless v-neck t-shirt. He thudded out of the bedroom and down the hall
to Marticock's chamber. He slowly opened the door. Vlad could see nothing
in the darkness of the double-wide, but he could hear and smell Marticock's
infant farts. The farts that made him so proud. The farts he would get
to nurture and mold into full-blown Lockwood eruptions. His penis rose to
attention upon detecting the tiny vibrations emanating from Marticock's
bowel. Vlad oozed into the nursery and closed the door behind him.
In the Ghetto Part XVIII
"Wake the fuck up, you ugly cunt," Vlad belched as he unbuckled his belt. It was
Sunday, and it was time for the weekly eating fest.
Vlad and the human tractor-trailer Reza had already been
banned from every all-you-can-eat place in Joliet. Aside from
the health violations from Vlad's frequent shitting his pants,
they would typically eat literally truckloads of food at a
time. They were directly responsible for the demise of more than
one all-you-can-eat restaurant.
Vlad opened the phone book to the bookmarked page. He picked
up the phone and clumsily dialed the numbers with a narrow stick since
his fingers were much too fat for the telephone.
He belched as the phone rang. A gruff voice picked up and
said "Anderson and Julius Subcontracting, this is Bruce." Vlad
nearly ejaculated in his pants -- this was the fat guy whose
services he had used before.
"Yeah, you fat fuck, I need you to bring a forklift to put my
whale of a cunt wife in the back of my truck." Whenever Vlad and
Reza went out together, he used Anderson and Julius
Subcontracting to remove Reza from the house and put her in the
bed of the truck, like a lowly cow.
Hours later, a forklift and heavy crane was on site, removing
Reza from the house and placing her into the bed. Typically, the
sheer weight of Reza would pop all 4 tires on the truck as soon
as she was set in. Vlad was forced to buy solid-tires for the
truck to compensate for his fatass of a wife.
Vlad farted. "Let's go you stupid cunt" he said when she was
finally in the bed. Vlad opened the door and barely squeezed in
and sat on the shit-stained leather. While carrying such a
massive load, the truck could travel no more than 15 miles per
As Vlad crawled down the Interstate in the far left lane, cars
and cars were swerving dangerously to avoid hitting the fatass
wife. Legally, the vehicle was now an "oversized load", since
Reza's flab would droop over the side of the truck. Each lane to
either side of the truck was mostly unusable since Reza's flab
would oscillate precariously and create the possibility of
Cars backed up for literally miles behind the oversized
couple. Reza shat herself and than came in the excitement of the
vibrations. Shit was flying out of the back of the truck and
onto the windshields of the cars behind him.
"Watch what your doing, you fat fucking bitch" Vlad shouted.
Finally, a Highway Patrol agent caught up to the gruesome
twosome and fulled him over.
"What the hell do you think you're doing? You fat wife is
spewing shit onto the cars," exclaimed the highway patrolman.
He was fat, but compared to Vlad and Reza, he was as skinny as
"You fucking cunt, I'm going to whip you." Vlad squeezed out
of the truck and took a phone cord in his hands. The highway
patrolman jumped toward Reza to protect the gigantic ass. At the
same time, in sheer terror, Reza shifted her weight.
The enormous change in weight altered the center of gravity
so much in the truck that it tipped over, falling directly on
the patrolman. He was crushed on tons of fat and 50 pounds of
steel. Killed immediately, blood squished out of him, as
toothpaste coming out of the container.
"Stupid fucking cunt," Vlad said.
In the Ghetto Part XIX
Marticock stared vacantly at the large stuffed animal that sat
propped against the side of his crib. The bear was a gift from
Marticock's grandmother and, at a subconscious level, it comforted
him. The toy was three times Marticock's size and far too heavy
for him to move with a casual tug. Marticock's unsteady hand reached
out to the bear and grasped the arm. He pulled on the toy two or
three times, then grew weary. Marticock rested a moment, panting,
sweating and farting.
Once he was rested, Marticock rolled over onto his stomach and
pulled his body toward the bear. The friction against his penis,
roughly the size of the ball from a ball-point pen, caused him to
get an erection and fed his determination. With a few more pulls,
Marticock had dragged himself to the bear. He rested on the floor
of the crib, panting and sweating and drooling.
Marticock regained his strength and pulled himself up, using the
bear as a brace. Marticock let go of the bear and then let himself
fall against it. The bear fell over onto its face. The bear was
made so that it was always in a sitting position and so, it sat on
the floor of the crib with its rear high in the air and its face to
Marticock clumsily fiddled with his diaper until it came loose and
he pulled himself along the crib, causing his diaper to slip away from
his pale, clammy body. Marticock grabbed onto the sides of the bear
with each hand and pulled himself onto it, so that he was mounting it.
Marticock moved his waist around until his tiny penis penetrated a
tear in the bear's seam. He thrust against the bear several times until
a strange sensation flooded over him. Marticock was far too young to
ejaculate but, as is always the case with Nature, a compensatory mechanism
was invoked. As the endorphines flooded little Marticock's little brain,
his little intestines clenched tightly, expunging a quick, wet stream of
liquid feces, chased by an incredible boom of flatulence. Spent,
Marticock collapsed on the bear, his penis and bowel twitching.
Elsewhere in the double-wide, Vlad farted. It wasn't his normal style
of anal eructation. This was one of Vlad's special farts. The kind of
fart that Vlad had always found to portend something of significance.
Subconsciously, Vlad analyzed the frequency of the anal vibrations created
in the wake of the fart; his nose studied the molecular composition of the
gasses; his ears classified the tonal resonances.
Deep in Vlad's mind a realization congealed out of the slime and slowly
bubbled its way into consciousness: his son had become a Cockwood.
In the Ghetto Part XX
Vlad awoke with a start and an alarmed fart. There was a buzzing in his chest,
just under his left boob. This was it, his heart was giving out Vlad thought. Vlad
clutched at the source of the vibrations. Under his pendulous man-boob was his alarm
clock. At some point in the night he had rolled over on to the clock and it had become
enveloped in his ample, sweaty flesh. Vlad let out a sigh and fart of relief as he
pulled the clock from between his fat rolls. It was 1pm, Vlad had to be at his
appointment by 3pm. Plenty of time for Vlad to prepare.
Even though Vlad had his monthly shower only 3 weeks ago, he decided it would be
best to wash up. He rolled out of bed and hit the floor with a thud. The boards creaked
as his spheroid body lurched its way across the stressed floor. Vlad bypassed the
bathroom, mold and the weight of him and the ever expanding Reza had caused the
bathroom to collapse into the basement. He went right to the backyard. The sprinkler
was right were he had left it from his previous washing. Vlad's sausage like fingers
reached down and clutched at the valve to turn on the water. Vlad turned and dropped
the tarp that was covering his massively naked body. The neighbors have all erected
10 foot privacy fences. Vlad yells out, at his prudish neighbors. "You are all fucking
prudes. I am not ashamed of my body. I am all man!" There is a shout from behind the
fence: "Shut the fuck up, you fat fucking fuck." Vlad turned beet red, he let out an
angry, defensive fart.
"What the fuck did you just say?!? I am going to fucking kick your ass! You ever
see Finding Nemo? That's the kind of Kung Fu I practice. Get over here and let me
give you a free lesson," Vlad warbled thru his bulbous neckmeat.
Vlad strained to hear his opponents pleas for mercy in the face of his fighting
skills. Nothing, just the sounds of a back yard BBQ. Vlad yelled out again: "I
said come over here so I can kick your ass!" Still nothing. Vlad let out a lonely
fart. He mumbled something about the fierceness of his fighting style as he made
his way to his bathing pit.
The water had saturated the ground and Vlad's stubby legs sunk in with each step
he took. It made a sucking sound as he pulled his leg up. The noise reminded him of
his nightly fuck festivals he has with his favorite sex toy, Marticock. Oh, if only
Marti was here now. Vlad's normally flaccid penis was standing tall at a full 1.25"
and was looking to bareback a baby. But, Vlad put this out of his mind as he
concentrated of getting ready to go. After a few minutes of water running over him,
Vlad set back in to the house. The muddy lawn was now covered by an oily, sour milk
smelling film. All living things are now dead or dying.
Vlad wanted to make a good impression at his interview. He had read in the paper
that a local Fortuen 500 company had lost their CIO, Vlad could do that. He was the
CIO for El-Arse Hosting, a ISP catering to Gay Arabs and other hardcore fetish sites.
Since he wanted to look important, Vlad decided to do a bit of Laundry. He wobbled
over to the pile of laundry that festered in the corner of the room. He Kicked the
pile over, it expelled a cloud of mold spores that almost choked Vlad, but, the
barrier if stench that encloses his body repelled them. Vlad pulled a can of Raid
from out of Marticock's toybox. He sprayed it's cleansing pine scent towards the
pile. Various bugs made a run for it. Vlad grabbed the least stained wife beater
and put it on. Vlad tucked in his boobs and pulled up his pants. This was such an
important event, Vlad even wore underwear. Or, at least, he work Reba's. They were
the same size as his: 5XL. "Brown in back, yellow up front," Vlad chuckled to
himself as he slipped them on over his pants.
Vlad was ready to go. He squeezed out the front door and stepped around the hole
in the front porch. Last week, he had tripped while stepping on the porch and fell
thru to the foundation. Vlad muttered about how the flooring was substandard. His
slumlord had tried to tell him that wood could not withstand his weight of his lard
filled body. But, Vlad knew different. Vlad strained to lift his leg to get up in
his van. An anxious fart escaped from the folds of Vlad's ass as Vlad slid into the
steel reinforced seat. The suspension on the old clunker groaned as it tried to
support Vlad's corpulent body. Vlad turned the key and the started clicked. Vlad
slammed his ham hock like foot on to the accelerator. The engine gave out a sputter
and was forced to life. Vlad Starts the tape player on his boombox. His 8 track
burned out. Vlad was forced to record his Eminem mp3s at the library. The boombox
still showed the scars from being rolled down the handicap ramp, with Vlad, by the
librarians. Vlad threw the transmission in reverse and floored it. Before Vlad could
even start singing along to his hero, the van came to a jerking halt. Vlad had his a
Vlad slammed his van's door open. He could barely contain his rage. The cop exits
his vehicle and asks Vlad if he is ok. Vlad can't hold it anymore. An angry fart
rattles from his cavern like anus alerting everyone within earshot to the upcoming
fury. "Why don't you fucking cops watch where the fuck you are going?!? You think you
can just fuck with me? Have you seen Seabiscuit? That's the kin..." Vlad didn't even
notice the tazer pistol in the cops hand. Not until 50k shot thru his dough like body.
Vlad dropped like 700 pounds of cookie dough and his the pavement with a dull, meaty
thump. The contractions from the charge has caused Vlad's bowel's to violently
contract. Expelling fecal matter, semen and methane gas out of Vlad's ass. Sadly,
the sparks from the tazer ignite Vlad's methane sending him rolling down the street
like a flaming pinwheel.
Reza is getting off of the cross town bus as she sees her love, Vlad, rocketing by.
She drops the government cheese and Marticock and she sits on the curb and cries. Marti
looks at his mother and all she can do is release a defeated little fart.