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Journal: Goodbye, Cruel Slashdot! 2

Journal by The WIPO Troll

Well, I guess this is it. In less than three hours, I am going to kill myself via nonstop, furious masturbation with a plastic bag tied around my head. After autoerotically asphyxiating myself, I plan to die covered in my own spooge from head to toe. I'll probably end up yanking my dick off I'm going to masturbate so hard, but who cares? Hey, if it breaks off, I can fulfill a lifelong dream before I die: sucking my own cock!

I hope all you fellow trolls remember me each time you squat and push out a big, stinky one. Egg troll, Fecal Troll Matter, Vladinator, Trollaxor, Fucky the Troll, Archie Bunker, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, the whole spork crew, and even that rat-bastard page-dilating Klerck: I'll always remember you! (Ever after I'm dead and jizz-covered.)

Michael, may you burn in hell. Timothy, Jamie, join him, please. Jon Katz, keep up the juicy-douching! CmdrTaco, lighten up on the Taco-snotting, it isn't good for you. Homos, CowboiKneel, Roblowme... eh, fuck you. I despise you so much I can't even think of a good insult for you.

Oh, and one more thing. I'm not J'raxis. I don't even play him on TV.

Goodbye, cruel Slashdot!

BSD

Journal: Taco-Snotting is Dying (1.1)

Journal by The WIPO Troll

By J. Wipo Troll, Esq., $Revision: 1.1 $

Netcraft has confirmed: Taco-snotting is dying.

Yet another crippling bombshell hit the beleaguered Taco-snotting community when recently IDC confirmed that Taco-snotting accounts for less than a fraction of 1 percent of all homosexual acts. Coming on the heels of the latest Netcraft survey which plainly states that Taco-snotting has lost more fag practitioners, this news serves to reinforce what weve known all along. Taco-snotting faggots are collapsing in complete disarray, as further exemplified by failing dead last in the recent Faggot World comprehensive snotting test.

You dont need to be a Katz to predict Taco-snottings future. The handwriting is on the wall: Taco-snotting faces a bleak future. In fact there wont be any future at all for Taco-snotting because Taco-snotting is dying. Things are looking very bad for Taco-snotting. As many of us are already aware, Taco-snotting continues to lose faggotshare. White ink flows like a river of bubbly, thick jizz. The circle-snot is the most endangered of them all, having lost 93% of its core snotters.

Lets keep to the facts and look at the numbers.

Circle-snotting leader Jeff Homos Masterbates states that there are 7000 snotters of the circle-snot. How many users of anal snot are there? Lets see. The number of circle-snotting versus anal snot posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are about 7000/5 = 1400 anal snot users. SnotOS posts on Usenet are about half of the volume of anal snot posts. Therefore there are about 700 users of SnotOS. A recent article put the circle-snot at about 80 percent of the Taco-snotting market. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 = 36400 circle-snot users. This is consistent with the number of circle-snot Usenet posts.

Due to the troubles of CowboiKneels walnuts, abysmal sales and so on, the circle-snot went out of business and was taken over by SNOTi who sell another troubled Taco-snot. Now SNOTi is also dead, its corpse turned over to yet another gay whorehouse.

All major surveys show that Taco-snotting has steadily declined in faggotshare. Taco-snotting is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If Taco-snotting is to survive at all it will be among heterosexual hobbyist dabblers. Taco-snotting continues to decay. Nothing short of a jizz-soaked miracle could save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, Taco-snotting is dead.

Fact: Taco-snotting is dead.

________________________________________

$Id: snotting-is-dying.html,v 1.1 2002/01/04 00:58:23 wipo Exp $

Copyright © 2001 J. Wipo Troll, Esq. Verbatim crapflooding of this document is permitted in any medium, provided this copyright notice is preserved, and next time you take a dump, you think of the WIPO Troll and all hes done to make Slashdot a better place.

User Journal

Journal: Death of a WIPO Troll

Journal by The WIPO Troll

Well, I guess this is it. Tomorrow, I am going to kill myself via nonstop, furious masturbation with a plastic bag tied around my head. I wonder how long it will take for me to die, covered in my own spooge.

I hope all you fellow trolls remember me each time you squat and push out a big, stinky one. Goodbye, cruel Slashdot...

(Oh, and: michael, may you burn in hell.)

Slashdot.org

Journal: Why Do They Reject My Submissions!? (1.2) 3

Journal by The WIPO Troll

By J. Wipo Troll, Esq., $Revision: 1.2 $

  • 2001-01-01 14:47:56 WIPO Troll cums on CmdrTacos children (articles,news) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-01 15:01:41 Hemos Sucks on ESRs Withered Penis (articles,patents) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-01 15:07:28 How do I clean up a huge pile of feces? (askslashdot,aol) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-01 15:13:08 WIPO Troll Patents Crotch Hair (articles,patents) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-01 15:19:27 WIPO Troll Patents Crotch Hair (UPDATE) (articles,patents) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-05 11:55:05 CowboyNeal rapes CmdrTacos anus (articles,news) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-05 12:06:55 Why did CowboyNeal rape CmdrTacos anus? (askslashdot,news) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-05 12:13:30 I am the Goatse.cx man, by CmdrTaco (books,slashdot) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-05 12:21:55 I CUM ON YOUR FACE (articles,x) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-05 12:28:27 Motherfucking bastards fuck you fuck your shitty s (articles,x) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-05 12:33:59 Slashdot sucks the turds from my ass-hairs (articles,x) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-05 12:42:06 Interview with the Goatse.cx man (interviews,bug) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-05 12:47:39 WIPO rapes Hemos sister (articles,aol) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-05 12:52:49 Reject this story, you fuckfaced geeks!! (yro,censorship) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-05 13:00:06 Hahah reject this one too!! (yro,censorship) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-08 01:31:33 How do I shave my crotch? (askslashdot,news) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-08 01:36:36 Does CmdrTaco eat Dog Testicles? (askslashdot,news) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-13 05:21:38 Turds, Diarrhea, and Fecal Japan (articles,slashback) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-13 06:23:33 I raped Hemos puckered anus (radio,apache) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-13 22:46:36 Fuck you fucking fuckers up your fucking asses!! (yro,news) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-14 22:16:41 Why does WIPO Troll like feces so much? (askslashdot,toys) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-14 22:21:51 Will CmdrTaco ever come out of the closet? (askslashdot,slashdot) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-14 22:27:11 Step-by-step guide to sucking your own penis (science,privacy) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-15 07:17:50 I want a handjob from that JenniCam girl (features,pilot) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-21 03:15:46 skfsjytdrwtvasdiwudwquskfsjytdrwtvasdiwudwquytefwk (articles,news) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-21 07:12:20 Jon Katz shoved up WIPO Trolls ass (features,science) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-21 10:16:12 Jon Katz escapes, shoved up ass again (articles,science) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-21 10:23:48 . a dot for your website (yro,quickies) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-21 12:45:33 WIPO Troll patents the eating of crotch hairs (bsd,patents) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-21 13:03:48 Slashdot.org renamed to SUCKDOT.ORG (radio,slashdot) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-21 14:10:42 WIPO Troll spews feces onto Front Page (articles,news) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-21 21:32:42 WIPO Troll beaten to death by Network Vigilante (yro,privacy) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-23 03:03:13 Taco fired from Andover for Slashback embarrassmen (articles,news) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-25 06:04:53 CmdrTaco sucks RMSs crotch hairs (articles,news) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-25 06:10:03 CmdrTaco used as sex slave by ESR (articles,news) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-25 06:15:16 Roblimo ate Timothys balls! (and crotch hair) (articles,news) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-25 06:24:41 WIPO Troll fucks CmdrTaco with penis, dildo (radio,privacy) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-25 06:30:33 Do zoophiles go to hell? (askslashdot,x) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-25 06:37:44 I stroke my cummy cock at thee (articles,news) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-25 06:43:29 Heres Fecal Japan in your eye! (science,spam) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-25 06:51:02 CHECK THIS SUPER COOL TURD OUT!!! (articles,news) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-25 06:57:04 I wanna fuck Alyssa Milanos tits (articles,news) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-25 07:03:26 Or I want some Alyssa Milano **PORN** (articles,news) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-25 13:42:27 CmdrTaco, Hemos discovered licking goat balls (articles,news) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-26 02:45:08 FUCK FUCK FUCK CROTCH HAIRS FUCK FUCK (apache,php) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-26 04:50:31 Crotch Hair Grooming Secrets Revealed (books,apple) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-26 07:09:24 WIPO Troll beaten to death by CmdrTaco, Hemos (articles,news) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-26 23:00:55 Trolls to fill your Q with shit (articles,news) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-27 04:57:37 I took a dump on Paters face (articles,slashdot) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-27 05:03:48 I Took another dump on Paters face (articles,slashdot) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-27 05:10:36 Ewww, I think Pater likes this (articles,slashdot) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-28 01:56:52 This Q sucks anus hairs (articles,news) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-28 05:28:40 Plastic.com trolled, goes down in flames (radio,slashdot) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-28 06:23:42 alcgewiryt32;r.wbgtd79p iuycfge.lirf87e tfl.alcgew (articles,news) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-28 08:12:29 VALinux licks my crotch hairs (articles,news) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-29 16:28:22 Who stole my crotch hairs!?!? (askslashdot,netscape) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-31 01:32:28 Crapflood? (articles,news) (rejected)
  • 2001-01-31 02:36:02 WIPO posting at -1, beats Malda to death (radio,slashdot) (rejected)
  • 2001-12-06 17:47:57 Taco-snotting orgy kills 4, injures 11 (articles,news) (rejected)
  • 2001-12-06 20:47:51 Taco-snotting REVEALED (articles,news) (rejected)
  • 2001-12-06 21:19:33 More snotting of the Tacos! (articles,news) (rejected)
  • 2001-12-06 23:14:46 I like little boys, like CmdrTaco! (articles,news) (rejected)
  • 2001-12-08 20:09:36 WHY R U LEAVING THIS PENDIGN (articles,news)
  • 2001-12-08 22:45:25 Kuro5hin returns! (features,ie) (rejected)
  • 2001-12-09 03:20:19 Vehix.com sued by Apple over infringement (articles,news)
  • 2001-12-13 07:02:37 Burp (articles,news) (rejected)
  • 2001-12-15 10:12:26 Crap! (articles,news) (rejected)
  • 2001-12-15 23:22:31 On Taco-Snotting 1.13 (features,slashdot) (rejected)
  • 2001-12-19 05:07:41 Monty Python and the Holy Taco (articles,slashdot) (rejected)
  • 2001-12-20 08:12:28 WIPO Sodomizes little Children! (articles,patents) (rejected)
  • 2001-12-21 11:55:59 WIPO Shoves CmdrTaco into Anus, Film at 11 (features,slashdot) (rejected)
  • 2001-12-24 13:27:16 Snotty Snot, Snot and more S N O T (developers,news) (rejected)
  • 2001-12-26 19:19:42 Christmas sucks, Taco. How about yours? FUCK YOU. (articles,news) (rejected)
  • 2001-12-27 01:41:20 REJECT THIS OR DIEEEEE IN YUOR SNOT (features,programming) (rejected)
  • 2001-12-30 06:29:00 Kuro5hin WIPOed by Troll Gangs, film at (articles,slashdot)
  • 2001-12-30 21:25:41 CmdrTaco castrated in freak kitchen accident (articles,news)
  • 2001-12-30 21:32:14 WIPO wants sex with you. GOAT SEX! (yro,debian) (rejected)
  • 2001-12-30 21:45:49 Reject this or we cut off your MICROPENIS (developers,privacy) (rejected)
  • 2001-12-31 00:01:10 Circle-Jerk Catastrophe Kills 8, Injures 36 (science,quake) (rejected)
  • 2001-12-31 02:01:55 Yay! Youre rejecting my shit again! (articles,news)
  • 2001-12-31 02:35:41 Sims anus explodes, covers YRO page in feces (yro,news)
  • 2001-12-31 03:05:13 Slashdot: Linux Zealot Circlejerk, or GNU Suckfest? (articles,gnu)
  • 2001-12-31 03:21:08 CmdrTaco caught licking toejam from CowboyNeal (articles,slashdot)
  • 2001-12-31 03:27:07 Would you reject this, please? Ill suck your cock! (articles,quickies)
  • 2001-12-31 04:39:37 SHOVE MY ANUS FULL OF MAN BEEF!!! (articles,privacy)
  • 2001-12-31 06:56:51 OK, shove Tacos anus full o beef then!! (articles,humor)
  • 2001-12-31 07:23:07 Why does my scrotum look broken? (askslashdot,privacy)

Summary:

  • pending (12)
  • rejected (75)

$Log: submissions.html,v $

Revision 1.2 2001/12/31 22:01:46 wipo

Added six stories (pending: 12, rejected: 75).

________________________________________

$Id: submissions.html,v 1.2 2001/12/31 22:01:46 wipo Exp $

Copyright © 2001 J. Wipo Troll, Esq. Verbatim crapflooding of this document is permitted in any medium, provided this copyright notice is preserved, and next time you take a dump, you think of the WIPO Troll and all hes done to make Slashdot a better place.

Anime

Journal: I Like to Fuck my Little Sister! And Other Shit (1.5)

Journal by The WIPO Troll

By J. Wipo Troll, Esq., $Revision: 1.5 $

Whats black, blue and green and doesnt like sex?

The Girl Scout locked in my basement.

Whats the worst part about having sex with a six year-old?

Getting the blood out of your clown suit.

Whats the best thing about getting a hand job from a five year-old?

That little hand makes your thing look really huge.

Guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying.

Whats wrong, honey?

Im leaving you! I just found out youre a pædophile!

Pædophile? Why, thats a pretty big word for a ten year-old.

How can you tell when your sisters on her period?

When your dads dick tastes like blood!

Two pædophiles are lying on a beach tanning, one turns to the other and says, Excuse me, youre in my son.

What is the sickest sound you hear when fucking a nine year-old?

Her hips snapping!

What is the best sound you hear when fucking a 13 year-old?

Her hips snapping!

Whats 18 inches long, blue, veiny, and makes a woman cry?

Crib death.

How could the mans seven year-old son tell that his dad had fucked his eight year-old sister? His dads weiner tasted like blood!

Watson returns home to find Holmes in bed with a child. He shouts, Is this some sort of a schoolgirl?

Holmes replies, Elementary, my dear Watson.

So I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I decided I wanted to get kinky and try and do her in the ass. So I slipped around back; she looked over her shoulder at me and said, My, how presumptuous of you. I said, Presumptuous? Thats a big word for a ten year-old.

Two guys are walking down the street when a beautiful woman passes. The first guy says, Damn! Id love to tear her clothes off, do her in the rear, smear my fæces all over her, slice off her breasts, chop her into little pieces, put her in a garbage bag and toss her into the river!

Second guy says, Yuck! Youre a sick bastard!

First guy says, Whatre you? A fag?

A kindergarten teacher is asking the kids what their father does for a living. All the kids answer except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny what his Dad does and Johnny replies, My dad is dead.

The teacher says, Thats terribile, but what did he do before he died?

Little Johnny replies, He turned blue and shit all over himself!

A guy calls in sick to work.

Whats wrong? asks the boss.

Im sick, the guy replies.

You sound all right.

No, Im really sick. Believe me.

Listen, you were fine yesterday, and we have a lot of work today. I want you in here. You cant be that sick!

Dude, I just banged my sister. Dont tell me Im not sick.

A little girl accompanied her father to the barbershop. While her dad received a haircut, the little girl stood next to the barber chair, enjoying a snack cake. The barber smiled at her and said, Sweetheart, youre going to get hair on your Twinkie.

I know, the little girl replied. Im gonna get tits, too.

An older man and a small boy walk hand in hand through the woods.

Boy: These woods sure are spooky!

Man: You think youre scared, Ive gotta walk out of here alone.

Whats the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?

One walked on the moon, and the other rapes little boys.

Has anyone read Michael Jacksons new book, The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing?

Q: Whats the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple?

A: I dont cum all over the golden delicious apple before I take a bite out of it.

Q: Whats the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend?

A: I dont kiss my girlfriend after sex.

Q: Whats the difference between a dead baby and a table?

A: You cant fuck a table.

Q: Whats special about a dead baby over all other forms of life?

A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.

Q: What do you have when you have four dead babies, take away two, and add five more?

A: An orgy!

Q: Whats better than three 14 year-olds?

A: 14 three year-olds.

Q: Whats white and bobs up and down in a babys crib?

A: A pædophiles ass.

Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby?

A: With a condom.

Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby?

A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples.

Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common?

A: Theyre fun to ride until they die.

Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead babys jaw?

A: Deep throat.

Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother?

A: Grandmothers dont die when you fuck them in the ass.

Q: Whats the best sound in the world?

A: Hearing dead babys hips crack under pressure!

Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby?

A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades.

Q: How do you stop a baby from choking?

A: Take your dick out of its mouth.

Q: Whats worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?

A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.

Q: How do you make a baby cry twice?

A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear.

Whats better than sex with a twelve year-old boy?

Absolutely nothing.

[Thanks to Fark.com for all of these wonderfully sick jokes! I couldnt have done it without you! And thanks to all the Anonymous Cowards who have flamed me, I have three words for you! YHBT! YHL! HAND! Apparently this post is extremely good at getting biters. According to an anonymous coward, Attorney General Ashcroft is also after little old WIPO Troll now, in addition to the Canadian cops-on-a-horse that another A.C. sent after me a couple days earlier. Well, this should be fun. Keep up the biting, Slashdotters! ed.]

________________________________________

$Id: paedophilia.html,v 1.5 2002/01/04 01:07:32 wipo Exp $

Copyright © 2001 J. Wipo Troll, Esq. Verbatim crapflooding of this document is permitted in any medium, provided this copyright notice is preserved, and next time you take a dump, you think of the WIPO Troll and all hes done to make Slashdot a better place.

It's funny.  Laugh.

Journal: Lovely Snot! Wonderful Snot! (1.4)

Journal by The WIPO Troll

By J. Wipo Troll, Esq., $Revision: 1.4 $

CmdrTaco: You sit here, dear.

CowboiKneel: All right.

CmdrTaco (to Waitress): Morning!

Waitress: Morning!

CmdrTaco: Well, whatve you got?

Waitress: Well, theres egg and bacon; egg, sausage and bacon; egg and snot; egg, bacon and snot; egg, bacon, sausage, and snot; snot, bacon, sausage, and snot; snot, egg, snot, snot, bacon, and snot; snot, sausage, snot, snot, bacon, snot, tomato, and snot;

Slashdot Crew (starting to chant): Snot, snot, snot, snot

Waitress: Snot, snot, snot, egg, and snot; snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, baked beans, snot, snot, snot

Slashdot Crew (singing): Snot! Lovely snot! Lovely snot!

Waitress: or Lobster Thermidor au Crevette with a Mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and snot.

CowboiKneel: Have you got anything without snot?

Waitress: Well, theres snot, egg, sausage, and snot, thats not got much snot in it.

CowboiKneel: I dont want any snot!

CmdrTaco: Why cant he have egg, bacon, snot, and sausage?

CowboiKneel: Thats got snot in it!

CmdrTaco: Hasnt got as much snot in it as snot, egg, sausage, and snot, has it?

Slashdot Crew: Snot, snot, snot, snot! (crescendo through next few lines)

CowboiKneel: Could you do the egg, bacon, snot, and sausage without the snot then?

Waitress: Urgghh!

CowboiKneel: What do you mean Urgghh? I dont like snot!

Slashdot Crew: Lovely snot! Wonderful snot!

Waitress: Shut up!

Slashdot Crew: Lovely snot! Wonderful snot!

Waitress: Shut up! (Slashdot Crew stops) Bloody Slashdot fags! You cant have egg, bacon, snot and sausage without the snot.

CowboiKneel (shrieks): I dont like snot!

CmdrTaco: Sshh, dear, dont cause a fuss. Ill have your snot. I love it. Im having snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, beaked beans, snot, snot, snot, and snot!

Slashdot Crew (singing): Snot, snot, snot, snot. Lovely snot! Wonderful snot!

Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.

CmdrTaco: Well could I have his snot instead of the baked beans then?

Waitress: You mean snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, snot

Slashdot Crew (singing elaborately): Snot, snot, snot, snot. Lovely snot! Wonderful snot! Snot, sno-o-o-o-o-ot, snot, sno-o-o-o-o-ot snot. Lovely snot! Lovely snot! Lovely snot! Lovely snot! Lovely snot! Snot, snot, snot, snot!

________________________________________

$Id: snot-snot-snot.html,v 1.4 2002/01/04 01:03:16 wipo Exp $

Copyright © 2001 J. Wipo Troll, Esq. Verbatim crapflooding of this document is permitted in any medium, provided this copyright notice is preserved, and next time you take a dump, you think of the WIPO Troll and all hes done to make Slashdot a better place.

Linux

Journal: The Linux Gay Conspiracy

Journal by The WIPO Troll

It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:

  • Linus Torvalds is an anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
  • Richard M. Stallman, spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
  • Alan Cox is barely an anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexual lover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware distro is named after the 'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference to the homosexual practise of anal fisting. The Mandrake product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like 'Disco,' which is where homosexuals preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of in a bed, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis, glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual 'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. 'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.' These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love `man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent heterosexual Windows users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot' originally referred to a homosexual practice. Slashdot of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous homosexuals who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/.

The editors of Slashdot also have homosexual names: 'Hemos' is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is 'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement. (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special 'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of penis discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot runs on Apache!

The Apache server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something, due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus, Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator.

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum. I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay $1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h, Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by a Black Man . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee, Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl is that it contains hidden homosexual messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of 'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase, Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord's work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the 'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.' (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,' as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman.

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10 seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine, frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember: Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos tend to be full of. Thank you again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD, which is an acronym for 'Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the homosexual practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

Slashdot.org

Journal: The Official Taco-Snotting FAQ (1.16) 1

Journal by The WIPO Troll

By J. Wipo Troll, Esq., $Revision: 1.16 $

[This article attempts to document a vile, ungodly practice that runs rampant through the homosexual geek and hacker community, a practice known as Taco-snotting, or simply snotting. Taco-snotting is something that few geeks dare talk about in free or open conversation, but it is nonetheless a widely-practiced and dangerous form of homosexuality. If you or anyone you know has ever engaged in Taco-snotting, please get professional help before it is too late. ed.]

Why do I keep receiving emails from an individual calling himself CmdrTaco?

You have been receiving unsolicited mailings from a certain Robert CmdrTaco Malda, owner of the popular technology website slashdot.org. Actually, its not a very popular site in the common sense of the word; the site is rife with pimply, antisocial geeks and hackers, zit-faced nerds, communists, dirty GNU hippies, and other societal rejects and outcasts. Its also home to one of the worlds largest suspected pædophile rings, the infamous Slashdot crew.

Whenever Mr. Malda gets bored (and who wouldnt, running a site like Slashdot all day), he roams through the user database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual activities with him. How he determines this is anyones guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with a letter of the English alphabet in it, youre a potential candidate.

This time, he found you. Lucky you.

Mr. Malda seems to be speaking in some sort of code. Do you know what it means?

CmdrTacos code language is relatively easy to decipher. This pervert prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo (yes, thats right: he wants you) to evade the watchful eye of Slashdots parent corporation, VA Software. Mr. Maldas Commander is, of course, his penis: a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants and only comes out in the presence of other male geeks or at the beck and call of Maldas own lubed-up right hand. His Taco bells are the shriveled testicles that droop beneath his Commander, and his Taco sauce is his thin, runny semen. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means if he asked you to ring his Taco bells or taste his gourmet Taco sauce.

I would also guess CmdrTaco asked you to engage in a practice known as Taco-snotting and, if he was in a particularly depraved mood at the time, a circle-snot.

Good Lord. And, yes, he did. What is Taco-snotting?

Taco-snotting is the term used by Robert Malda to refer to the depraved act of fellating another man (homo- or heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumoured to prefer raping unwilling victims), then blowing the semen out his nose and back onto the face and body of his victim. Naturally, a long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is left on CmdrTacos face, dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, Taco-snotting.

And if thats not bad enough

A circle-snot is a Taco-snotting circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, and Homos get together and snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum spooging their jizz-snot all over each others faces and pasty, white bodies, until theyre covered head to toe with their own and each others man juice. This vile, ungodly ritual can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limousine service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.

To complete this perverted orgy, fellow faggots Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The homosexual shenanigans that follow are nearly beyond description. The whole group begins to snot each others spunk and whip each others pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.

Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?

Hopefully, but I wouldnt count on it.

To begin with, you most likely forgot to uncheck the Willing to Snot checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad (do you have a homosexual-sounding nick?), and hes probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube, just waiting to pounce and declare you his new bitch. Theres no escaping a geek in heat (trust me), so its probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTacos sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on Messages, and uncheck the box next to Willing to Snot. Maybe hell ignore you. Probably not.

I cant stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?

If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot all over you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).

Have you ever been Taco-snotted?

Unfortunately, yes. I first met Mr. Malda at an Open Source Convention. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some gourmet Tacos, but when I got there, the perverted geek jumped me and handcuffed me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his Commander out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times, virtually nonstop. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm then he snotted my own thick, gooey jizz back onto my face out of his nostrils! He snotted me two more times, first into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.

CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, Open Sauce man sauce) buddies over to continue their ungodly snotfest. European hacker and known überfaggot Linux Torvalds raped my ass with his monolithic kernel; his partner-in-crime Anal Cox used their network stack in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice of my defenseless, tender, young body. Michael Sims was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my previously-virginal ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about all those Censorware freaks out to get him.

That is so disgusting! How did you finally escape?

After about 16 hours of countless unholy, homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, completely covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door (of the apartment, not their back doors). Im just glad I survived the awful ordeal. These sexually-repressed hackers had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads I couldve easily been drowned!

Thats horrible. Does Taco-snotting have anything to do with CmdrTacos special taco?

No, thats a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. Mr. Malda is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games. WeatherTroll has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):

You may be wondering what CmdrTacos special taco is. You will be wishing that you hadnt been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his special taco, CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and shits on it. He then adds lettuce, takes out his tiny withered dick (otherwise known as his Commander), puts his special taco sauce on it which means he jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim. After all, who would knowingly eat shit and CmdrTacos jizz?

After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTacos nefarious homosexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victims ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved. Trust me, you do not want Jon Katz anywhere near your unconscious body. Also, rumor has it CmdrTaco is looking for a new goatse.cx guy. Dont let it be you!

Different ungodly perversion, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that Robert CmdrTaco Malda is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.

Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a pædophile, not a homosexual.

Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual pædophile. Hes also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile.

Mr. Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesnt involve himself in the circle-snots, but that doest mean hes any less of a freak than the rest of the Slashdot crew. Katz often engages in a game called juicy-douching with a harem of little-boy slaves that he has collected over the years: yet another vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boys urine (forced out of them with a pair of pincers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then dribbling and slathering the goo all over himself and the boys chained, naked bodies. If hes in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag from his distended anus and just squirt it from his ass onto the crying, terrified boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pincers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them at will. A boy will usually last about two years before Mr. Katz either accidentally drowns them in diarrhea or kills them once they get too old, usually around 13 or 14.

Not content with being a pædophilic coprophile, Mr. Katz is also quite the zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys arent enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goats anus. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goats small, bean-like turds, and he often kills his older boys by letting his goats trample them.

Are you getting hard writing this?

Why, yes. :) Join me in a WIPO-snot?

No, thanks. Im already CmdrTacos boi toi.

________________________________________

$Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.16 2001/12/28 21:20:03 wipo Exp $

Copyright © 2001 J. Wipo Troll, Esq. Verbatim crapflooding of this document is permitted in any medium, provided this copyright notice is preserved, and next time you take a dump, you think of the WIPO Troll and all hes done to make Slashdot a better place.

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