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On Taco-Snotting [slashdot.org], by The WIPO Troll. ©2001.
Journal of The WIPO Troll (267426)
Goodbye, Cruel Slashdot!
Well, I guess this is it. In less than three hours, I am going to kill myself via nonstop, furious masturbation with a plastic bag tied around my head. After autoerotically asphyxiating myself, I plan to die covered in my own spooge from head to toe. I'll probably end up yanking my dick off I'm going to masturbate so hard, but who cares? Hey, if it breaks off, I can fulfill a lifelong dream before I die: sucking my own cock!
I hope all you fellow trolls remember me each time you squat and push out a big, stinky one. Egg troll, Fecal Troll Matter, Vladinator, Trollaxor, Fucky the Troll, Archie Bunker, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, the whole spork crew, and even that rat-bastard page-dilating Klerck: I'll always remember you! (Ever after I'm dead and jizz-covered.)
Michael, may you burn in hell. Timothy, Jamie, join him, please. Jon Katz, keep up the juicy-douching! CmdrTaco, lighten up on the Taco-snotting, it isn't good for you. Homos, CowboiKneel, Roblowme... eh, fuck you. I despise you so much I can't even think of a good insult for you.
Oh, and one more thing. I'm not J'raxis. I don't even play him on TV.
Goodbye, cruel Slashdot!
Taco-Snotting is Dying (1.1)
By J. Wipo Troll, Esq., $Revision: 1.1 $
Netcraft has confirmed: Taco-snotting is dying.
Yet another crippling bombshell hit the beleaguered Taco-snotting community when recently IDC confirmed that Taco-snotting accounts for less than a fraction of 1 percent of all homosexual acts. Coming on the heels of the latest Netcraft survey which plainly states that Taco-snotting has lost more fag practitioners, this news serves to reinforce what weve known all along. Taco-snotting faggots are collapsing in complete disarray, as further exemplified by failing dead last in the recent Faggot World comprehensive snotting test.
You dont need to be a Katz to predict Taco-snottings future. The handwriting is on the wall: Taco-snotting faces a bleak future. In fact there wont be any future at all for Taco-snotting because Taco-snotting is dying. Things are looking very bad for Taco-snotting. As many of us are already aware, Taco-snotting continues to lose faggotshare. White ink flows like a river of bubbly, thick jizz. The circle-snot is the most endangered of them all, having lost 93% of its core snotters.
Lets keep to the facts and look at the numbers.
Circle-snotting leader Jeff Homos Masterbates states that there are 7000 snotters of the circle-snot. How many users of anal snot are there? Lets see. The number of circle-snotting versus anal snot posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are about 7000/5 = 1400 anal snot users. SnotOS posts on Usenet are about half of the volume of anal snot posts. Therefore there are about 700 users of SnotOS. A recent article put the circle-snot at about 80 percent of the Taco-snotting market. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 = 36400 circle-snot users. This is consistent with the number of circle-snot Usenet posts.
Due to the troubles of CowboiKneels walnuts, abysmal sales and so on, the circle-snot went out of business and was taken over by SNOTi who sell another troubled Taco-snot. Now SNOTi is also dead, its corpse turned over to yet another gay whorehouse.
All major surveys show that Taco-snotting has steadily declined in faggotshare. Taco-snotting is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If Taco-snotting is to survive at all it will be among heterosexual hobbyist dabblers. Taco-snotting continues to decay. Nothing short of a jizz-soaked miracle could save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, Taco-snotting is dead.
Fact: Taco-snotting is dead.
________________________________________
- The URL of this document is <http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=267426 &id=3362>
$Id: snotting-is-dying.html,v 1.1 2002/01/04 00:58:23 wipo Exp $
Copyright © 2001 J. Wipo Troll, Esq. Verbatim crapflooding of this document is permitted in any medium, provided this copyright notice is preserved, and next time you take a dump, you think of the WIPO Troll and all hes done to make Slashdot a better place.
Death of a WIPO Troll
Well, I guess this is it. Tomorrow, I am going to kill myself via nonstop, furious masturbation with a plastic bag tied around my head. I wonder how long it will take for me to die, covered in my own spooge.
I hope all you fellow trolls remember me each time you squat and push out a big, stinky one. Goodbye, cruel Slashdot...
(Oh, and: michael, may you burn in hell.)
Why Do They Reject My Submissions!? (1.2)
By J. Wipo Troll, Esq., $Revision: 1.2 $
- 2001-01-01 14:47:56 WIPO Troll cums on CmdrTacos children (articles,news) (rejected)
- 2001-01-01 15:01:41 Hemos Sucks on ESRs Withered Penis (articles,patents) (rejected)
- 2001-01-01 15:07:28 How do I clean up a huge pile of feces? (askslashdot,aol) (rejected)
- 2001-01-01 15:13:08 WIPO Troll Patents Crotch Hair (articles,patents) (rejected)
- 2001-01-01 15:19:27 WIPO Troll Patents Crotch Hair (UPDATE) (articles,patents) (rejected)
- 2001-01-05 11:55:05 CowboyNeal rapes CmdrTacos anus (articles,news) (rejected)
- 2001-01-05 12:06:55 Why did CowboyNeal rape CmdrTacos anus? (askslashdot,news) (rejected)
- 2001-01-05 12:13:30 I am the Goatse.cx man, by CmdrTaco (books,slashdot) (rejected)
- 2001-01-05 12:21:55 I CUM ON YOUR FACE (articles,x) (rejected)
- 2001-01-05 12:28:27 Motherfucking bastards fuck you fuck your shitty s (articles,x) (rejected)
- 2001-01-05 12:33:59 Slashdot sucks the turds from my ass-hairs (articles,x) (rejected)
- 2001-01-05 12:42:06 Interview with the Goatse.cx man (interviews,bug) (rejected)
- 2001-01-05 12:47:39 WIPO rapes Hemos sister (articles,aol) (rejected)
- 2001-01-05 12:52:49 Reject this story, you fuckfaced geeks!! (yro,censorship) (rejected)
- 2001-01-05 13:00:06 Hahah reject this one too!! (yro,censorship) (rejected)
- 2001-01-08 01:31:33 How do I shave my crotch? (askslashdot,news) (rejected)
- 2001-01-08 01:36:36 Does CmdrTaco eat Dog Testicles? (askslashdot,news) (rejected)
- 2001-01-13 05:21:38 Turds, Diarrhea, and Fecal Japan (articles,slashback) (rejected)
- 2001-01-13 06:23:33 I raped Hemos puckered anus (radio,apache) (rejected)
- 2001-01-13 22:46:36 Fuck you fucking fuckers up your fucking asses!! (yro,news) (rejected)
- 2001-01-14 22:16:41 Why does WIPO Troll like feces so much? (askslashdot,toys) (rejected)
- 2001-01-14 22:21:51 Will CmdrTaco ever come out of the closet? (askslashdot,slashdot) (rejected)
- 2001-01-14 22:27:11 Step-by-step guide to sucking your own penis (science,privacy) (rejected)
- 2001-01-15 07:17:50 I want a handjob from that JenniCam girl (features,pilot) (rejected)
- 2001-01-21 03:15:46 skfsjytdrwtvasdiwudwquskfsjytdrwtvasdiwudwquytefwk (articles,news) (rejected)
- 2001-01-21 07:12:20 Jon Katz shoved up WIPO Trolls ass (features,science) (rejected)
- 2001-01-21 10:16:12 Jon Katz escapes, shoved up ass again (articles,science) (rejected)
- 2001-01-21 10:23:48 . a dot for your website (yro,quickies) (rejected)
- 2001-01-21 12:45:33 WIPO Troll patents the eating of crotch hairs (bsd,patents) (rejected)
- 2001-01-21 13:03:48 Slashdot.org renamed to SUCKDOT.ORG (radio,slashdot) (rejected)
- 2001-01-21 14:10:42 WIPO Troll spews feces onto Front Page (articles,news) (rejected)
- 2001-01-21 21:32:42 WIPO Troll beaten to death by Network Vigilante (yro,privacy) (rejected)
- 2001-01-23 03:03:13 Taco fired from Andover for Slashback embarrassmen (articles,news) (rejected)
- 2001-01-25 06:04:53 CmdrTaco sucks RMSs crotch hairs (articles,news) (rejected)
- 2001-01-25 06:10:03 CmdrTaco used as sex slave by ESR (articles,news) (rejected)
- 2001-01-25 06:15:16 Roblimo ate Timothys balls! (and crotch hair) (articles,news) (rejected)
- 2001-01-25 06:24:41 WIPO Troll fucks CmdrTaco with penis, dildo (radio,privacy) (rejected)
- 2001-01-25 06:30:33 Do zoophiles go to hell? (askslashdot,x) (rejected)
- 2001-01-25 06:37:44 I stroke my cummy cock at thee (articles,news) (rejected)
- 2001-01-25 06:43:29 Heres Fecal Japan in your eye! (science,spam) (rejected)
- 2001-01-25 06:51:02 CHECK THIS SUPER COOL TURD OUT!!! (articles,news) (rejected)
- 2001-01-25 06:57:04 I wanna fuck Alyssa Milanos tits (articles,news) (rejected)
- 2001-01-25 07:03:26 Or I want some Alyssa Milano **PORN** (articles,news) (rejected)
- 2001-01-25 13:42:27 CmdrTaco, Hemos discovered licking goat balls (articles,news) (rejected)
- 2001-01-26 02:45:08 FUCK FUCK FUCK CROTCH HAIRS FUCK FUCK (apache,php) (rejected)
- 2001-01-26 04:50:31 Crotch Hair Grooming Secrets Revealed (books,apple) (rejected)
- 2001-01-26 07:09:24 WIPO Troll beaten to death by CmdrTaco, Hemos (articles,news) (rejected)
- 2001-01-26 23:00:55 Trolls to fill your Q with shit (articles,news) (rejected)
- 2001-01-27 04:57:37 I took a dump on Paters face (articles,slashdot) (rejected)
- 2001-01-27 05:03:48 I Took another dump on Paters face (articles,slashdot) (rejected)
- 2001-01-27 05:10:36 Ewww, I think Pater likes this (articles,slashdot) (rejected)
- 2001-01-28 01:56:52 This Q sucks anus hairs (articles,news) (rejected)
- 2001-01-28 05:28:40 Plastic.com trolled, goes down in flames (radio,slashdot) (rejected)
- 2001-01-28 06:23:42 alcgewiryt32;r.wbgtd79p iuycfge.lirf87e tfl.alcgew (articles,news) (rejected)
- 2001-01-28 08:12:29 VALinux licks my crotch hairs (articles,news) (rejected)
- 2001-01-29 16:28:22 Who stole my crotch hairs!?!? (askslashdot,netscape) (rejected)
- 2001-01-31 01:32:28 Crapflood? (articles,news) (rejected)
- 2001-01-31 02:36:02 WIPO posting at -1, beats Malda to death (radio,slashdot) (rejected)
- 2001-12-06 17:47:57 Taco-snotting orgy kills 4, injures 11 (articles,news) (rejected)
- 2001-12-06 20:47:51 Taco-snotting REVEALED (articles,news) (rejected)
- 2001-12-06 21:19:33 More snotting of the Tacos! (articles,news) (rejected)
- 2001-12-06 23:14:46 I like little boys, like CmdrTaco! (articles,news) (rejected)
- 2001-12-08 20:09:36 WHY R U LEAVING THIS PENDIGN (articles,news)
- 2001-12-08 22:45:25 Kuro5hin returns! (features,ie) (rejected)
- 2001-12-09 03:20:19 Vehix.com sued by Apple over infringement (articles,news)
- 2001-12-13 07:02:37 Burp (articles,news) (rejected)
- 2001-12-15 10:12:26 Crap! (articles,news) (rejected)
- 2001-12-15 23:22:31 On Taco-Snotting 1.13 (features,slashdot) (rejected)
- 2001-12-19 05:07:41 Monty Python and the Holy Taco (articles,slashdot) (rejected)
- 2001-12-20 08:12:28 WIPO Sodomizes little Children! (articles,patents) (rejected)
- 2001-12-21 11:55:59 WIPO Shoves CmdrTaco into Anus, Film at 11 (features,slashdot) (rejected)
- 2001-12-24 13:27:16 Snotty Snot, Snot and more S N O T (developers,news) (rejected)
- 2001-12-26 19:19:42 Christmas sucks, Taco. How about yours? FUCK YOU. (articles,news) (rejected)
- 2001-12-27 01:41:20 REJECT THIS OR DIEEEEE IN YUOR SNOT (features,programming) (rejected)
- 2001-12-30 06:29:00 Kuro5hin WIPOed by Troll Gangs, film at (articles,slashdot)
- 2001-12-30 21:25:41 CmdrTaco castrated in freak kitchen accident (articles,news)
- 2001-12-30 21:32:14 WIPO wants sex with you. GOAT SEX! (yro,debian) (rejected)
- 2001-12-30 21:45:49 Reject this or we cut off your MICROPENIS (developers,privacy) (rejected)
- 2001-12-31 00:01:10 Circle-Jerk Catastrophe Kills 8, Injures 36 (science,quake) (rejected)
- 2001-12-31 02:01:55 Yay! Youre rejecting my shit again! (articles,news)
- 2001-12-31 02:35:41 Sims anus explodes, covers YRO page in feces (yro,news)
- 2001-12-31 03:05:13 Slashdot: Linux Zealot Circlejerk, or GNU Suckfest? (articles,gnu)
- 2001-12-31 03:21:08 CmdrTaco caught licking toejam from CowboyNeal (articles,slashdot)
- 2001-12-31 03:27:07 Would you reject this, please? Ill suck your cock! (articles,quickies)
- 2001-12-31 04:39:37 SHOVE MY ANUS FULL OF MAN BEEF!!! (articles,privacy)
- 2001-12-31 06:56:51 OK, shove Tacos anus full o beef then!! (articles,humor)
- 2001-12-31 07:23:07 Why does my scrotum look broken? (askslashdot,privacy)
Summary:
- pending (12)
- rejected (75)
$Log: submissions.html,v $
Revision 1.2 2001/12/31 22:01:46 wipo
Added six stories (pending: 12, rejected: 75).
________________________________________
- The URL of this document is <http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=267426 &id=3275>
$Id: submissions.html,v 1.2 2001/12/31 22:01:46 wipo Exp $
Copyright © 2001 J. Wipo Troll, Esq. Verbatim crapflooding of this document is permitted in any medium, provided this copyright notice is preserved, and next time you take a dump, you think of the WIPO Troll and all hes done to make Slashdot a better place.
I Like to Fuck my Little Sister! And Other Shit (1.5)
By J. Wipo Troll, Esq., $Revision: 1.5 $
Whats black, blue and green and doesnt like sex?
The Girl Scout locked in my basement.
Whats the worst part about having sex with a six year-old?
Getting the blood out of your clown suit.
Whats the best thing about getting a hand job from a five year-old?
That little hand makes your thing look really huge.
Guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying.
Whats wrong, honey?
Im leaving you! I just found out youre a pædophile!
Pædophile? Why, thats a pretty big word for a ten year-old.
How can you tell when your sisters on her period?
When your dads dick tastes like blood!
Two pædophiles are lying on a beach tanning, one turns to the other and says, Excuse me, youre in my son.
What is the sickest sound you hear when fucking a nine year-old?
Her hips snapping!
What is the best sound you hear when fucking a 13 year-old?
Her hips snapping!
Whats 18 inches long, blue, veiny, and makes a woman cry?
Crib death.
How could the mans seven year-old son tell that his dad had fucked his eight year-old sister? His dads weiner tasted like blood!
Watson returns home to find Holmes in bed with a child. He shouts, Is this some sort of a schoolgirl?
Holmes replies, Elementary, my dear Watson.
So I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I decided I wanted to get kinky and try and do her in the ass. So I slipped around back; she looked over her shoulder at me and said, My, how presumptuous of you. I said, Presumptuous? Thats a big word for a ten year-old.
Two guys are walking down the street when a beautiful woman passes. The first guy says, Damn! Id love to tear her clothes off, do her in the rear, smear my fæces all over her, slice off her breasts, chop her into little pieces, put her in a garbage bag and toss her into the river!
Second guy says, Yuck! Youre a sick bastard!
First guy says, Whatre you? A fag?
A kindergarten teacher is asking the kids what their father does for a living. All the kids answer except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny what his Dad does and Johnny replies, My dad is dead.
The teacher says, Thats terribile, but what did he do before he died?
Little Johnny replies, He turned blue and shit all over himself!
A guy calls in sick to work.
Whats wrong? asks the boss.
Im sick, the guy replies.
You sound all right.
No, Im really sick. Believe me.
Listen, you were fine yesterday, and we have a lot of work today. I want you in here. You cant be that sick!
Dude, I just banged my sister. Dont tell me Im not sick.
A little girl accompanied her father to the barbershop. While her dad received a haircut, the little girl stood next to the barber chair, enjoying a snack cake. The barber smiled at her and said, Sweetheart, youre going to get hair on your Twinkie.
I know, the little girl replied. Im gonna get tits, too.
An older man and a small boy walk hand in hand through the woods.
Boy: These woods sure are spooky!
Man: You think youre scared, Ive gotta walk out of here alone.
Whats the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
One walked on the moon, and the other rapes little boys.
Has anyone read Michael Jacksons new book, The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing?
Q: Whats the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple?
A: I dont cum all over the golden delicious apple before I take a bite out of it.
Q: Whats the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend?
A: I dont kiss my girlfriend after sex.
Q: Whats the difference between a dead baby and a table?
A: You cant fuck a table.
Q: Whats special about a dead baby over all other forms of life?
A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
Q: What do you have when you have four dead babies, take away two, and add five more?
A: An orgy!
Q: Whats better than three 14 year-olds?
A: 14 three year-olds.
Q: Whats white and bobs up and down in a babys crib?
A: A pædophiles ass.
Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby?
A: With a condom.
Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby?
A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples.
Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common?
A: Theyre fun to ride until they die.
Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead babys jaw?
A: Deep throat.
Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother?
A: Grandmothers dont die when you fuck them in the ass.
Q: Whats the best sound in the world?
A: Hearing dead babys hips crack under pressure!
Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby?
A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades.
Q: How do you stop a baby from choking?
A: Take your dick out of its mouth.
Q: Whats worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
Q: How do you make a baby cry twice?
A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear.
Whats better than sex with a twelve year-old boy?
Absolutely nothing.
[Thanks to Fark.com for all of these wonderfully sick jokes! I couldnt have done it without you! And thanks to all the Anonymous Cowards who have flamed me, I have three words for you! YHBT! YHL! HAND! Apparently this post is extremely good at getting biters. According to an anonymous coward, Attorney General Ashcroft is also after little old WIPO Troll now, in addition to the Canadian cops-on-a-horse that another A.C. sent after me a couple days earlier. Well, this should be fun. Keep up the biting, Slashdotters! ed.]
________________________________________
- The URL of this document is http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=267426 &id=3101.
$Id: paedophilia.html,v 1.5 2002/01/04 01:07:32 wipo Exp $
Copyright © 2001 J. Wipo Troll, Esq. Verbatim crapflooding of this document is permitted in any medium, provided this copyright notice is preserved, and next time you take a dump, you think of the WIPO Troll and all hes done to make Slashdot a better place.
