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Journal: Story: alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.linux.* 3

Journal by The Porn Count
2002-01-19 11:03:22 alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.linux.* (articles,linux)

The Porn Count writes "I was perusing my usual Usenet newsgroups looking for some hot new wank material (38,757 images to date!) and came across this set of newsgroups, which Im sure youll all be most interested in.

  • alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.linux.tux: Pictures of everyones favorite Linux mascot in a variety of nude poses. There are petitions in alt.config for the creation of subroups for anal, oral, and plumper porn.
  • alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.linux.tux.hardcore: Tux getting it on with the Beastie, the BSD Daemon.
  • alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.linux.tux.bondage: When Tuxs and Beasties romps get especially kinky.
  • alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.linux.d: All porn is moderated to (-1; Redundant) immediately upon arrival.
  • alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.linux.goatsecx: Constant reposts of everyones favorite anus, the Goatse.cx man.
  • alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.linux.celebrities.rms: Dirty GNU Hippie porn. Need I say more?
  • alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.linux.celebrities.ac : Alan Coxs anal cox.
  • alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.linux.celebrities.fakes: Pictures of actual Linux users having sex with mainstream celebrities.*
  • alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.linux.fakes: Pictures of actual Linux users having sex with ordinary females.

* Katherine Janeway is not considered a mainstream celebrity, sorry."

User Journal

Journal: Daily Porn Count: 2002-01-17, Thursday

Journal by The Porn Count

Sorry I didnt let all you salivating Slashdot trolls know how much porn I had amassed as of last night; I was just too busy doing you-know-what with all those thousands of images! I found this one set of pics in alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.redheads that looks so much like my own sister I couldnt take my hands off my cock! (Yes, I find my older sister extraordinarily hot and fantasize about her all the time.) I almost broke my dick off after about 5 hours of near-nonstop masturbation to those pics, and I did pass out for several hours.

Then I got up, wanked some more, downloaded a few hundred new pics, and then wanked some more!

So! Todays total stands at 38,608 images, wasting 4,798,296,064 bytes of hard drive space. Note to self: Must get CD burner and start archiving all of this away!

Slashdot.org

Journal: Story: Slashdot needs Porn section 1

Journal by The Porn Count
2002-01-13 07:50:52 Slashdot needs Porn section (articles,slashdot)

The Porn Count writes "Us Linux geeks need some good wank material, man! Not like we're gonna get it from real girls! I suggest several topics, such as S&M, Lesbian, Bukkake, Bestiality, plain ol Hardcore, and so on! Use your imagination. (Sorry, Jon Katz, I dont think well need a Pædophilic-Douching topic.)"

2002-01-14 01:40:02 (rejected)

User Journal

Journal: Daily Porn Count: 2001-01-13, Sunday

Journal by The Porn Count

Bwahahahah. Someone moderated six of my comments down within the same minute. The same minute. Michael, Jamie, some other ass-licking editor do you feel threatened by my vast quantities of porn? Are you so inadequate you cant even get it up for a JPEG? A GIF? Or a PNG?!?!

Todays count will be deferred until I finish downloading, and then until I finish wanking, and then until I clean the jizz out my keyboard.

UPDATE 09:25: Yes! Todays porn download brings my total to 38,145 images, comprising a whopping 4,749,553,664 bytes of disk space! Thats 4.42 gigabytes, baby!

UPDATE 11:47: Yep, its another update! Despite the vast amount of pr0n I added to my collections today, I still wasnt satisfied even after 73 minutes of nonstop wanking! So, I downloaded some more! Todays final count stands at: 38,178 images (4,751,466,496 bytes). Whoo boy!

User Journal

Journal: Daily Porn Count: 2001-01-12, Saturday

Journal by The Porn Count

Yeah, yeah, so its not daily. So fuck you. Slashdot had me banned for the last few days because of all the crapflooding.

So instead of Slashdotting, I spent a few hours in Usenet over the past few days downloading fresh wank material! Todays count: 37,737 delicious files, for a total of 4,704,325,632 bytes!

User Journal

Journal: Daily Porn Count: 2001-01-08, Tuesday 1

Journal by The Porn Count

Welcome to The Porn Counts daily catalogue of exactly how much porn he owns! CmdrTaco, I love you and I love Slashdot! It has allowed me to express my love for porn of all types, from S&M to bukkake to bestiality, far and across the world wide web! Now, on to the report!

Starting out, I currently have 37,564 pornographic images (pr0n) residing on my hard drive, for a grand total of 4,689,432,576 bytes! This should keep me busy for a few hours!

UPDATE 02:53: Oh no! I now only have 37,532 porn files (4,682,407,936 bytes)! I decided to delete some old crappy ones. Looks like its time to peruse alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.* some more! Woohoo!!

UPDATE 03:47: Even more old porn cleanup! I am now down to a drastically low 37,376 image files. Thats only a puny 4,669,419,520 bytes of yummy, delicious girlie flesh! I definitely need to go find some new shit and then spank the monkey for a while longer!

Stay tuned for daily updates! (Unless Im too busy taking advantage of all these images! Wooha!!)

"The value of marriage is not that adults produce children, but that children produce adults." -- Peter De Vries

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