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Journal: I have been a bad Slashdot Journaller 8

Journal by The Michele

There are many excuses for my lack of entries. Yes, I am going to tell you some of them. Tough.
The overwhelming issue is my bought with depression. Yes kiddos, this sucks. This isn't as simply as "I am a big fat dodo head, someone shoot me and put me out of my misery", some of it is just plain lethargy and lack of a desire to do anything. Really. Even moving to the bed to sleep is an effort. Swallowing my daily pills is like climbing Mt. Everest. I think this is how one can really tell the difference between situational depression or "being sad" and full blown, biochemical, omg get the jacket depression. If breathing wasn't automatic, I would stop doing it. It is ebbing a touch, so I am here, using some energy to update. Bask in the glory. *wink*
During this lovely time, my eldest daughter is fighting the Realm of Darkness that is the Public School System, and is doing so poorly. Got herself suspended for being Disruptive and Defiant. Momma had to yell. She deserved her suspension, and she knows it. I made her apologize, after understanding that the way she dealt with it sucked ass and they deserved and apology for that. On the other hand, they are NOT treating her properly; they are not allowing her to work with the confines of her limitations, nor allowing her to explore the outside of the box they have put her in. Contradictory? Maybe. They want to reshape her into something she isn't, and she is fighting for her being, her self. As long as my heart keeps beating, I am on her side, and will drag my ass to that school and fight for her.
The little one hates her teacher. In her case though, there is nothing I can point to to say "hey you, stop it". The woman is simply a grumpy bitch who shouldn't be teaching. I told her that she couldn't "make" her teacher "like" her, and that it had NOTHING to do with her, that this woman was simply miserable, and that she wasn't the cause. If she wished to try to help her teacher feel better, that was sweet, but to not take it personally if things didn't go as planned. Basically, it isn't her fault, and it isn't her JOB to make this woman happy. Behave, do your work, enjoy your peers, take care of you. Sad I have to teach a 7 year old that so early in life.
My Therapist is leaving me on December 17th. That is quite the blow. I don't know if I will find a decent one to take her place. She gave me names, but I don't feel confident that they will stick. Going in to Cambridge or Arlington isn't ringing my bell right now.
There are also marital issues and money issues that I probably shouldn't go into here. Suffice it to say, they are really overwhelming.
Oh, did I mention my mother is back, to stay? **bangs head against stone wall** Yes, there is a VERY long story there, but if you made it this far, I will spare you the details of that drama.

I am finally reading "Reviving Ophelia". It is a good read, and I am almost finished with it. Will review it when I am finished. I also read "Trapped in the mirror" which I will attempt to review sometime. It might be a while though, since I borrowed the book from my therapist, so I don't have the book on hand to reference. Anyway, that is it. I just wanted to send in the update, since I have been so neglectful.

User Journal

Journal: The Lovely Bones 7

Journal by The Michele
I read The Lovely Bones last night. A really excellent book, as least for it's genre. Does it have a genre now? I suppose so, the "Oprah" genre. Eh, still good reading, and only took a few hours to tear through. It did show me how programmed I am to read that type of book as a mystery, despite the fact that they tell you right up front who did it. I would catch myself thinking "She could have done it, there is a motive right there", then do a double take, remembering that I knew who the murderer was. The story really wasn't about Susie's murder, but about letting go, and how you can let go without forgetting what is important. How you can still love without keeping hold of those things that tether you to patterns that keep you from moving forward. It was nice, and quaint and a bit cheesy at times, falling into the trap that many a trashy novel walks into willingly. (Oh come on, you know what I mean, taudry sex and silly sub plots) Mostly though, I am glad I have it in hard cover, because I am likely to pick it up a few more times and will probably loan it out too. A nice addition to the Fiction Shelf.
User Journal

Journal: No Clue, boundless possibilities 9

Journal by The Michele
In 18 days Nanowrimo will begin for 2003. For the month of November, along with cooking a (hopefully) scrumptious holiday meal, celebrating (or mourning) my 35th birthday and coming to terms with the fact that my mother is actually living too close to me now, I will be attemption to churn out a novella of 50,000 words.

In 5 days, I will be drugged and probed for biopsy to see whether I have cancer, or celiac, or ... well, who the heck knows. Probably nothing but a bad case of "wow, you are a fruit cake". Amazing how fruit cake hurts on so many levels. *wink*.

That is it for now, just starting the maiden voyage of the SS Abyss Slashdot.

Going the speed of light is bad for your age.

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