who thing Stephen Hawking is a cosmetologist
I can't believe no one has mentioned this yet. Get an infrared thermometer ( they usually shine a laser spot on whatever it is that you are trying to measure).
Very good for finding hot spots in racks, also tells thou how hot your coffee is with out having to sip it and burn your mouth.
How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to hold the giraffe and one to fill the bathtub with brightly colored power tools.